The Bargain
by lalas
Summary: James and Lily finally agree to put their differences aside. A bargain is struck but it results in something that neither of them could have ever predicted.
1. Unexpected Truce

"Oh, I'm so sorry, are you alright?" a deep male voice cried, as Lily fell to the ground with a loud smacking sound. "I'm so sorry!" it repeated frantically, as its owner fell to his knees beside her, having heard the sickening sound of her head impacting against the cold stone floor.

"No, no, it's okay. I'm okay." Lily quickly tried to reassure the familiar voice from her sprawled position. She put a hand to the back of her head, checking the area where she'd bumped it for permanent damage, and finding nothing too serious or fatal, she just rubbed the tender spot cautiously.

"It's not your fault," she continued miserably. "It just seems to be one of those days."

Surprising her, the male voice chuckled and she looked up quickly, suddenly realising why the voice had sounded so familiar. It was James Potter. Well, that was just typical. After all, who else _could_ it have been? It seemed like she couldn't do anything even remotely idiotic or stupid without him being around to witness it anymore.

Feeling like a clumsy idiot, she attempted to cover her embarrassment with a frown. She opened her mouth furiously to shout at him for laughing at her, but he held up his hand and spoke before she had the chance.

"Don't get angry, Evans, I was laughing at the situation, not your _misfortune_."

She frowned, but for once decided not to comment, as it would only lead to an argument she didn't need to have. Instead, she sighed tiredly and placed a hand to her temple and made circular motions, trying to ease away the horrible headache that seemed to be forming.

"You too, huh?" he sighed, recognising a familiar look of stress painted clearly across her face-- the look that was so similar to the one he saw on his own face every morning in the mirror. The one that showed signs of problems that went beyond the normal worries of too much homework or one too many detentions.

She turned her head towards him curiously. As soon as he knew he had her full attention, he looked directly into her eyes, desperately trying to convey his sincerity, and he apologised again. "I really am sorry. I just got a letter and I was a little distracted… I haven't been having a very good day either," he finished, releasing a long, dismal, breath.

"I wasn't paying attention to where I was going," she admitted grudgingly, meeting his warm hazel gaze, before her own eyes developed a mind and will of their own and started to look his form over intently, taking in every detail from his wild hair to his lean body, right down to his muddy shoes.

He started to fidget and she felt herself blush slightly when she realised he knew she was checking him out. She reddened completely when she realised he had been appraising her, too.

"Either way, I'm sorry," he finally said, breaking through the awkwardness that had settled over them, and extending his hand to help her up off the floor. "I've got to be at least twice your size and I just knocked you on your arse." He grinned charmingly. "That's got to hurt no matter whose fault it is," he joked, still holding her hand.

"How my arse feels is none of your concern," Lily stiffly told him, pulling out of his grasp a little self-consciously. She added, "I guess you're right though, getting knocked over by you _does_ kind of feel like getting hit by the Hogwarts Express."

Choosing to ignore her slightly hostile attitude towards him, he threw his head back and laughed. "_Whoa_, Evans, spirited as always, I see. I could actually argue that it _is_ my concern, especially seeing as it's my fault that it may be hurt, but if I offended you…well then, I'm sorry for making a joke in such poor taste."

She tried to be angry at his nerve and his ability to be charming, even when talking about her arse, but his laugh was infectious, and she'd been having such a bad day that she found she didn't have the energy or the will to be angry at him. So, for the first time in a long time, she forgave him instantly.

"My arse _is_ fine, thanks," she said, surprising him by not yelling and, instead, making a joke. "I've survived much worse knocks," she continued, confirming she wasn't angry after all.

"Oh yeah?" he asked, raising his eyebrows at her. He chose not to comment on her unusual attitude towards him, deciding to just be thankful that she was even talking to him.

"A delicate thing like you," he continued, following her example and trying to keep the conversation light, "just exactly where and when have _you_ been knocked about – is there someone I need to go rough up?" he asked, pretending to get ready to storm off in search of an unknown foe.

"I am not delicate!" she protested firmly, wiping the playful smile off his face as he realised he'd said something he shouldn't have.

She straightened out her lithe frame, trying to appear bigger, but all she really managed to do was draw his attention to her breasts; impressively, though, his gaze only lingered for a second before coming up to rest on her face again. She coughed uncomfortably at his obvious approval before adding, "I can do my own roughing up, thank you very much." She defensively pulled out her wand so fast it was a blur, just to prove her point.

At her vehemence, ,James took a hasty step back and eyed her wand with a mixture of fear and admiration.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. I was just joking you know, trying to be witty. I can see now that I failed miserably, _as usual,_" he said self-depreciatingly, continuing to hold his hands up in a placating gesture.

She watched him for a while before snorting, "No, no, I'm sorry, _again_ – it's just a bit of a sore spot for me. I ummm…I just got a letter too…from my dad… and I'm a little wound up."

"Really, why?"

When she raised her eyebrows at his nosiness, he shrugged. "Most people _like_ receiving letters from home… unless your family is like Sirius's of course," he added thoughtfully.

"No, it's nothing like that." She was quick to reassure, before explaining, "It's just that, my father seems to think I'm too delicate for anything and everything, and chooses to remind me of that fact at every bloody opportunity." She finished by waving the piece of parchment, that he assumed to be the offending letter, under his nose despondently.

"Umm…" James stalled trying to think of a way to respond, but she didn't give him a chance.

"Can you believe he even tried to stop me from coming back to Hogwarts, the safest place in England?!" she cried angrily, going off into her own little rant. "I actually had to make promises and sacrifice certain activities to be allowed to come back. I had to agree _not_ to fly my broom, _not_ play Quidditch, _not_ to go to Hogsmeade!"

James eyebrows rose higher with each sacrifice mentioned, but he frowned heavily when she continued with, " _And_ I just barely managed to convince him to allow me to continue to date – I'm seventeen for goodness sake, shouldn't I have some bloody say in my own life?!" she finished, breathing heavily.

She calmed down a little before continuing, talking more to herself now than him. "—I know he's just trying to protect me but, honestly, it was years ago! I was just a kid and this summer was just a one off!"

"What happened to make him think you're delicate?" James inquired hesitantly. He'd tried not to ask but found he couldn't stop his mouth from forming the words. He had always been curious beyond belief about the girl in front of him, and it seemed today was no different.

Lily raised her eyebrows and he was quick to apologise, absently noting that they both seemed to be doing a lot of that. "I didn't mean to pry."

"Of course you did," she said, smiling slyly at him. "But you're being awfully polite and kind today, so I think I can let it pass," she assured him, causing him to blush. "_Oh_, and you're blushing too, that's adorable!"

"I am _not_ adorable!" he mimicked her, and she laughed outright.

"Okay, how about dashing? Does being 'dashing' satisfy your manly pride?"

"Yes, that's much better," he answered cheekily, feeling incredibly pleased with himself for being able to make her laugh. "So you were saying…?"

"Saying what?" she asked, confused.

"About being delicate. Why would your father think someone as _feisty_ as you are, is delicate?"

"Oh that…" Lily said, her smile dropping.

James didn't bother to answer and just gazed at her steadily, worried that if he said too much she would clam up and their first civilised conversation in months would be ruined.

Lily looked back, and felt herself falter. She was amazed that after only a few moments of decent conversation with him, this boy who was normally so annoying had made her feel like she could tell him something she had only her told best friend. He gave off an aura that made her instinctively _want_ to trust him; he always had, and that was probably why she had always been so disappointed when he proved to her that she shouldn't and couldn't. It had always frightened and confused her how could he have two such very different and conflicting sides to his personality. It just didn't seem possible, and so she had always felt very wary of James Potter.

Deciding that she could trust him this time, she said, "I can't believe I'm going to tell you this, but okay. I suppose after unloading on you like I did, that you deserve _some_ kind of explanation."

"You don't have to tell me," he was quick to reassure, noticing her hesitance. He did not want her to attack him later, if she realised what she'd done by confiding in him and regretted it.

"No, it's okay. I just try to avoid the topic at school, because it's easier that way. I don't want people to think I'm weak or treat me like I could break at any moment – so I'm not exactly _used_ to talking about it."

"Umm…is this something we need to sit down for?" James tentatively asked, a little worried.

Seeing the look on his face, Lily smiled. "Oh dear, there's no need to worry, Potter. I'm sorry, I'm making it seem so serious, aren't I? It's not nearly as bad as it must be coming across!" She chuckled. "I'm just a little over sensitive about it, and not because I'm _delicate,_ but because the whole thing is just ridiculous! I'm _fine_, but my father just doesn't seem to ever believe me!"

James gave a relieved smile. "Oh, okay. Well, get on with it then."

"Impatient little bugger, aren't you?"

James shrugged unremorsefully. "Yeah, but you already knew that."

She nodded, smiling fondly. "I guess I did," she said, before suddenly becoming thoughtful. "Ummm… you know I'm Muggleborn, right?"

Receiving a nod in the affirmative, she continued. "Well you see, to make a long story short – when I was younger I had an – I was – taken _ill_, and it was really serious." Her eyes flashed to his face, to check his reaction to this statement. He looked sympathetic and curious as he waited patiently for her to continue.

Feeling slightly braver, she went into more detail."I…I didn't know I was a witch at the time, my family didn't even know magic _existed_, which was really unfortunate because…I had somehow contracted a wizarding disease."

James frowned, not really understanding where she was going with this conversation ."_Okay_…"

"Well," she carried on, sensing his confusion, "because it was a _wizards_ disease, the muggle doctors had _no idea_ how to treat it. So I went a really long time without any proper treatment, and of course, the longer I went without treatment, the worse it got. Much worse, actually."

"Shit," responded James, once he realised the full impact of what she was trying to tell him.

"Yeah," replied Lily, before continuing. "Luckily, just as it was getting incredibly bad, another witch, who was visiting a Muggle friend in the hospital, saw me and recognised what I had instantly. I was quickly taken to St Mungo's, where I was cured in a _relatively_ short space of time, but I was still badly affected and the prolonged exposure without treatment had made me physically weak. It scared my parents so badly that when I received my Hogwarts letter they were, understandably, terrified of magic and what it would mean for me."

"I can understand that," James admitted thoughtfully. "You're their little girl and considering the way they were first introduced to this world, _in a hospital with a sick daughter_, I imagine that that would make any parent nervous."

"Yes, well, in the end I managed to convince them to let me come, obviously. I think that they realised that I didn't quite fit in, in the Muggle world, and that there was something different about me. They realised that I needed this place, but my dad's never been the same since, no matter how right he knows the decision to let me come was."

"It probably doesn't help that they don't understand this world. One of the only times you _really_ needed your parent's help they couldn't do _anything_, no matter how much they wanted to. I can't imagine how that must feel."

Lily sighed. "I know and you're right. I know his attitude is really a fear of the unknown, of something he can't control, understand, _or_ protect me from, but that doesn't make the consequences any easier to live with."

"And your mum?"

"She's much better about it all, much calmer, but I think that's probably because my dad does enough worrying for the both of them," she chuckled humourlessly.

"You should do something about it if it really bothers you that much," James offered, his usual 'all or nothing' attitude shining through. "If it affects you so badly," he continued, looking at her seriously, "then prove to your father that you _are_ capable and that you _can_ take care of yourself. Eventually, he's just going to have to let you grow up and make decisions on your own, and trust that you won't do something stupid or get hurt."

"You sound like you're talking from experience," Lily noted, shaking her head a little in disbelief.

"Yes, well…" he shrugged uncomfortably.

She eyed him for a moment and when he refused to meet her gaze, she took in a deep, offended breath. "Hey, come on!"

"What?" he asked shiftily.

"Well, I just spilled my guts to you - return the favour! That way I know you're not going to go around telling everyone I nearly died."

"DIED?!" James exclaimed. "You didn't tell me _that_!"

She shrugged. "What does it matter now that I'm fit and healthy? So come on and tell me your dark secret, James Potter!" she goaded, slapping his arm lightly.

"Which one, Lily Evans?" he asked with a smile, nudging her back with his shoulder.

"Seriously," she said after a brief encouraging smile, "who better to tell, for a new perspective on your life, than someone who doesn't like you enough to filter their answers? I know we've never really gotten on and that has meant we've remained practically strangers, but you _know_ you can trust me."

"We do get on!" She raised her eyebrows. He added grudgingly, "Sometimes."

When she still looked sceptical, he argued, "We're in the same year _and_ in the same house _and_ I had that huge crush on you at the end of fifth year, so I doubt it's accurate to call you a stranger."

"Maybe not," Lily interrupted, "but you only _think_ you know me, while, really, you only know what I look like and my basic statistics: name, age, and class ranking. But you know nothing about _me_, and vice versa. Let's not pretend differently."

"Fine, but it's not really my fault. You've never been particularly forthcoming with details about your life, no matter how hard I tried – and you're not like that just with me either, you're like that with most people."

Lily shrugged. "I'm a private person."

"With many secrets, obviously," James remarked dryly, referring to their most recent conversation.

"People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, _Prongs_._"_ Lily emphasised his nickname, purposefully reminding him of the last time she'd tried to have a serious conversation with him, when she'd asked why the Marauders had such strange nicknames.

"Don't," James firmly stopped her. "Don't ruin it by starting a fight now."

Lily frowned, but decided she didn't want to ruin this miraculous truce either and let the matter drop. Instead she said, "Fine, but stop avoiding the issue – has anyone ever told you that you're very good at redirecting a conversation?"

He grinned roguishly. "Damn, I've been caught!"

"Come on," she wheedled. "It's only fair, and if you really want to get to know me then this has to be a two way exchange."

--

AN

And volia a new fic is born!

Firstly, I'm sorry, I know its been a little while since I posted but have no fear I haven't forgotten you nor was I eaten by polar bears LOL - I was just suffering from a bit of a writer's drought/laziness

So this is a new multi chap fic that I've actually been working on for a while and have already written quite a few chaps for, however, I would like you, as the reader, to make a decision for me - you have a choice between:

Short chaps with quick updates or;

Longer chaps with longer updates

I'm easy either way – I actually cut this first chap in half, it was _much_ longer but then I decided to split it up to add a little intrigue (in the hopes it would make you want to come back and read to find out what James's problem is)

If you want the next chap by sunday... you know what you have to do ;D


	2. A Bargain Struck

James eyed her thoughtfully, trying to decide if she was seriously offering to try and be friends with him. Eventually, he decided he wouldn't find out unless he tried, and he was confident that she wasn't going to tell the whole world anything he revealed to her if he specifically asked her not to.

"Let's just say that there are very high expectations for me in my family, and that certain members who shall remain nameless have decided that _they_ are the ones who know what's best for me, and that I, as a _mere_ child, have no concept of what I should be doing with my life, and so it must be decided for me."

"Oh," Lily said, understanding what he was alluding to and feeling empathy well up from inside her. "That's rough; having to choose between pursuing your own dreams and disobeying the people you love most."

"Yeah, that's it exactly! – Don't get me wrong, it's not like they are forcing me to do anything horrible, I just resent the fact that I'm not allowed to make decisions for myself. It's probably why I 'act out' so much," he said, throwing her a sly smile.

"Act out?" She chuckled. "I suppose that's one way to put it."

His smile widened, but he continued with their conversation without further comment. "I know they have my best interest at heart, so what's a guy to do?"

Lily didn't have an answer for him, and found all she could do was shrug unhelpfully.

It seemed, though, that he hadn't really expected her to answer. "What a pair we make, eh? One overprotected and the other controlled," he smiled, but she saw right through it.

"Don't," she said, her voice suddenly sharp.

"Don't what?" he asked, shocked at such a swift change in her mood.

"Don't joke, don't sugar over how you feel! If you really want to try and be friends, then you can't tell me half truths! – Either tell me it _all_ or tell me _nothing_!"

"Okay," he said, backing away from her slightly.

Lily realised she'd raised her voice and smiled apologetically, "Please, you don't need to lie. Say whatever you want, and I promise I won't repeat it or throw it back in your face." She put her hand on his shoulder in a friendly gesture, trying to reassure him she was being genuine.

"I would really hate that," he admitted, stopping her train of thought.

"Hate what?" she said, turning more fully towards him.

"Hate it if I never talked to you again, if things continued on the way they have been till now, if we never became friends. I kind of like you," he grinned slyly. "You're very… refreshing," he added after a moment of contemplation.

"Thank you," she replied shyly, not quite sure what to make of his comment, but almost certain he'd meant it as a compliment.

She tried to make eye contact, but he avoided her gaze.

"I promise," she reiterated. "Whatever you say is just between us."

"Well, it's not like it's a secret… my name _is_ James Potter," he said in a voice that clearly meant that his name was supposed to mean something to her.

But it didn't, and so instead of a dawning look of recognition, she stupidly said, "Yes, I know your name."

Seeing she had no clue as to what he meant, he elaborated. "My father is the _only_ _boy_ _male_ in the Potter line and my mother is the _only_ _child_ of the Williams family. They married and had me, their _only_ child."

Seeing Lily still looking back at him with a blank expression on her face, he laughed.

"Okay, this is going to sound _so_ conceited, but I don't think I can help it…" he trailed off.

"Oh, go on," Lily said with a mock suffering sigh, nodding to indicate he could say what he wanted and she would restrain herself from making a comment.

"You really don't know _who_ I am, do you?"

"Should I?" Lily asked, perplexed. She was keeping to her promise and not mocking him for being arrogant.

"Well, I suppose not – it just seems that everyone else in the whole bloody world knows," he said, bitterness entering his voice.

Lily raised an eyebrow. "Stop acting like a petulant child," she chided. "Some people would consider it a gift, to be famous and rich and rather good looking."

"Good looking, Evans? Are you trying to hint at something?" he joked, trying to lighten the mood he'd created.

"Stop it, you prat, you're avoiding the issue again. You're being very evasive and it's awfully annoying."

He smiled. "Sorry, but this is just so bizarre for me; to have a conversation with a girl who's not in it just to get close to me, closer to my family, hoping to _marry_ me! I almost don't want to ruin it."

"_Marry you_?" choked Lily. "Great Agrippa, you're only—what, seventeen? How could anyone think you'd be ready for marriage?"

"Exactly!" he cried, relieved it seemed to have finally found someone who saw it his way. "You must be the last sane person in this world because that's the problem; everyone thinks I _should_ be getting married, including my mother and father!"

"Explain," demanded Lily.

"Forceful, I like it!" James grinned before trying to explain once again. "I'm the _only_ heir to the Williams-Potter dynasties. With me, not just one old pureblood family dies, but two do, and that's just unacceptable! So, of course, the obvious answer is to marry me off as quickly as possible so the families are secure for another generation."

"That's terrible!" she cried, knowing that her words were meaningless and couldn't solve the problem, but feeling as if she needed to express her outrage anyway. "I would have thought, what with the way you've always treated me and other Muggleborns, that you came from an open-minded family!"

"Oh they are, and I do!" James was quick to say. "They don't care _who_ I marry as long as I marry _someone…_ and that I have a kid – preferably _kids_. The pureblood part is secondary – in fact, there is evidence to suggest that the most powerful magical combination, is that of wizarding and Muggle blood anyway…"

Seeing her surprise at this announcement, he asked, "Have you ever really thought about what it _means_ to marry pureblood to pureblood?"

Lily shook her head. It wasn't really something she'd ever contemplated, mainly because it didn't apply to her.

"There are only so many pureblood families – everyone is related to everyone – often the marriages are only just shy of _incest._"

"Eww…"

"_Yeah_, and feelings of disgust aside – think about the deformities that occur from incestuous unions – even in the Muggle world – it's nature's way of saying it's wrong _not_ to mix with other people and cultures."

Lily's eyes had taken on a truly thoughtful gleam. "I've never thought of it like that, but it makes so much sense."

"I know," James said, nodding fervently.

"So, what about your family, if they don't want you to marry a pureblood, what do they want from you?"

"Just that I meet _someone_ who they _approve_ of and procreate as soon as possible, I guess. It really isn't all that bad though," he said, correctly interpreting the shock and outrage on her face. "They would never _arrange_ a marriage or anything equally archaic, at least I don't think they would… and at least they don't mind _who_ I marry… but I feel the pressure constantly and that's almost as bad. Always asking if I have a serious girlfriend yet, badgering me to find one – and when I actually do get a girlfriend it's even worse!"

"Worse?"

"Way worse," he sighed morosely.

She stared at him sympathetically, before taking a hesitant step forward, her mind working furiously. "Do you..." she started hesitantly, "Do you need a hug?"

He laughed quietly, shaking his head in amazement. "Are you offering?"

"I guess I am..." Lily shrugged, frowning confusedly.

His smile stared to fade. "Wow, to what do I owe this unexpected pleasure?"

She shrugged. "I figured after a conversation like the one we just had, a hug would be common practice."

"Well, I suppose... if its _common practice..._" he said slowly.

Lily nodded and eyed him warily as she slowly reached out and hugged him.

At first it was stiff, but soon they were both relaxing into it.

"Do you normally go around hugging people you claim to loathe and abhor?—Should I warn Malfoy?" he asked, staring at the top of her head, and trying to sound joking, but in reality just managing to sound shocked and unsure as he returned the gesture uncertainly.

"Shut up you idiot. This is not something I normally do, so just marvel at the feat and be quiet," she said, her voice muffled by his jumper.

"Okay," he said quietly, taking her advice. He gave her a light squeeze, taking a moment to appreciate the bizarre turn their shaky friendship seemed to be taking, before releasing her.

Once she'd stepped back, he eyed her carefully before saying, "You know, perhaps we could come to some sort of arrangement, to help each other _ease_ our problems a little bit, that is, if you're up for it."

"What kind of arrangement?" asked Lily warily, but intrigued nonetheless.

"Well, I'm captain of the Gryffindor Duelling team."

"Yeah, I knew that," Lily replied instantly, her eyes briefly flashing to his chest where his captain's badge rested.

"Who doesn't?" he noted smugly.

Lily frowned before noticing the smile he was trying to conceal. "I let one conceited comment go by, don't think I'll allow two!"

"Yes, madam," James said, saluting her.

"Potter," she said warningly.

"Fine, fine, I'll stop, but I was thinking… well I think I could help you get on the team—"

"What?!" she went to interruptinterrupted.

"No, listen, you would be covertly acting out against your father—which, trust me, is terribly cathartic and satisfying all in itself." He grinned roguishly. "And then, at the end of the year, at the final tournament-- you can show him what you're made of. Nothing proves you're strong and capable like beating the best duellers Hogwarts has to offer and not getting hurt in the process, or, better yet, getting hurt and recovering."

"Umm, while I agree that it would make me feel spectacular to prove my father wrong and would probably get him to leave me to my own devices, it's not a workable plan, for so many reasons, the main one being I'm _not a boy_," Lily pointed out.

James laughed and waved her off. "Give me a day to think up a plan. If I haven't got something to your liking, we'll give it up as a lost cause and I'll buy you a butterbeer and some Honeydukes as compensation."

When she remained silent, he added, "What have you got to lose?"

Lily stared before deciding it couldn't hurt to let him try. She sighed. "Fine, but I'm assuming you want something in return?"

James turned a little red with her question, and Lily was instantly intrigued. "Come on Potter. Spit it out, the class is waiting."

"Well I was wondering – _hoping_ – would like you to… or, rather, be willing to…"

"To…?"

"To date me? Or at least pretend to?"

"Potter…" Lily said, her voice shocked and a little strained.

"No, listen, I'm not coming on to you, I swear!" he defended forcefully.

Lily looked slightly hurt at his violent rejection of the idea of possibly dating her, as he frantically tried to reassure her. "No, no, not that you're not very beautiful and I'm sure any bloke would have to be lucky to have you -- more than lucky," he rambled, his eyes widening with every second of her silence that ticked by. "Shit, I'm making it worse aren't I? Umm…."

"Potter, calm down. I'm not offended, but you better get to the point quickly!" Lily interrupted him loudly.

"Well, I was just thinking that if you pretended to be my girlfriend, all those girls who hit on me constantly would have to back off. And my father would be pacified for a while, so I could finally have some peace to enjoy my final year and…and…."

"Potter."

"And…"

"Potter!"

"And…"

"POTTER!"

"Yes, Evans?"

"…It's a deal."

--

AN

I said Sunday if you reviewed and Sunday it was...just about

The general consensus was short chaps with shorter updates

Please REVIEW it only takes a second!


	3. Doubt

Lily entered her dorm dazedly, still shocked at the thought, _at the mere possibility_, of finally being able to break her father's obsessive control. She was having an even harder time coming to terms with the idea that she was suddenly involved in an elaborate scheme with none other than James Potter—a Marauder, who also happened to be captain of the Quidditch team _and_ the Dueling team and possibly one of the hottest guys in school. Not that she'd noticed…much.

It was outrageous.

She _really_ hadn't expected such an outcome when she'd gotten out of bed this morning.

"Where the hell have you been?" A voice snapped her out of her reverie the moment she shut her dorm's door.

Surprised, Lily spun round and looked at her friend, confused by her anger before realisation dawned. "Oh, I'm sorry!" Lily cried, remembering she had been on her way to meet Jennifer before bumping into James. "I got a letter from my dad and then I bumped into James Potter and–"

"James Potter?" Jennifer asked disbelievingly, briefly snapping out of her mood. "Was there bloodshed?—Have you come back to find help to hide the body?" she joked, amusement overtaking her face.

"Yes, James Potter, and no, there was no bloodshed – I'm not _that_ bad around him!" Lily cried defensively.

Jennifer snorted, but Lily chose to ignore her, and instead, brightly said "He's going to help me with my father!"

"Help you?" Jennifer parroted, too shocked by the pronouncement to do anything but repeat the statement.

"Yeah, can you _believe_ that?! After everything that's happened between us, he's going to help me!" Lily said excitedly, a huge smile spreading across her face as the idea of it really began to sink in.

"No!" Jennifer exclaimed, her voice suddenly sharp again, shocking Lily into silence. "I can't _believe_ it, it's not like asking to borrow a quill Lily – helping heal the deep-seated issued between you and your father is a task of mammoth proportions and it's not something someone does just out of the kindness of their hearts – especially not James Potter! Why would he even _care_?!"

"Because…because despite everything, despite his being annoying and childish I still think he's a genuine and kind person who saw I needed help," Lily responded, trying to put into words what exactly had happened between them, still not entirely sure how their relationship had changed herself.

Jennifer scoffed disbelievingly again.

"Stop," Lily commanded. "He was really nice today. I actually think we've finally found some common ground – we… we made a connection! He has similar problems to mine. I think he really understands how I feel about this – better than anyone else around here does anyway."

Hurt flashed across Jennifer's face before she sarcastically said, "Oh yeah, all _that _from one chance encounter? That must have been one hell of a conversation!"

"You don't understand, you weren't there…"

"I suppose he's getting absolutely _nothing_ out of helping you either," Jennifer continued, as if Lily hadn't spoken. "He's just that _nice_?!"

"Of course he's getting something out of it – it's not just one sided!" Lily cried indignantly. "What do you think I am some kind of damsel? I'm going to help him with a problem he's having in return, it's only fair!"

"Oh Lily, _no_! Don't you see what he's doing? He's buttering you up and promising to help you, when really he's going to drop you the second you've fulfilled your end of the deal and he's gotten what he wanted!"

"You don't even know what we agreed to!"

"Don't get involved with him!" Jennifer exclaimed, ignoring Lily.

Lily stood in silent bewilderment before questioning, completely bemused, "Why not?"

"Why not!? _Why not_!?" Jennifer repeated incredulously, before bursting out, "What has he _done_ to you?!" She grabbed Lily's face and looked into her eyes trying to see if she was under the influence of a potion or spell, but finding nothing she quickly released Lily's shocked face in complete astonishment. "You know so much better than this, Lily! He's a terrible womanizer; he's been with almost every girl in the school and has treated every single one of them poorly!"

"Oh, don't be so bloody melodramatic, he's not _that_ bad. I know he's left a lot of broken hearts behind him, but I'm not exactly an innocent either, and I know we argue worse than anyone else in this school but that's only because our personalities clash. I've never thought he was even remotely cruel or malicious!" Lily replied, confused by the picture her friend was painting when she compared it with the boy she'd just had a conversation with. She'd thought many things about James Potter, but malicious and insincere were definitely not among them.

In fact, she was disconcerted to discover she was finding it hard to pull up _any_ reasons for hating him. Maybe she'd hit her head harder than she'd thought…

"Of course you don't think he's bad, he's beautiful and smart and extremely adept at talking his way into a girl's knickers. He probably would have said anything to get you to meet him again so he could finally work his charms on you!"

"His charms?" Lily asked, trying to choke down a sudden burst of laughter at her friend's absurdity before becoming cross. "How stupid do you think I am? Do you think I can't make decisions for myself?! I'm not the naive, lost little girl that my father and, apparently, _you_ seem to think I am! Furthermore, if I want to talk to James Potter, Severus Snape or Voldemort himself then I bloody well will, and you can't stop me!"

"Oh, stop being ridiculous, Lily! It's not that I think you're weak or naive, but surely you heard about what he did to Mary Keen, I'm just trying to protect you!"

"I don't need you to protect me," Lily told her firmly, but she paused before releasing her next angry retort and took a moment to consider her friend words anyway. She wasn't stupid, she _did_ remember the Mary Keen scandal but she had found that girl's story hard to believe from the beginning. _This,_ however, was her best friend telling her that James was untrustworthy and altogether evil, so how could she ignore that? Her opinion _was_ hard to disregard.

"You shouldn't see him again, Lily!" Jennifer stressed urgently. "James Potter is not going to bring anything good to your life!"

"Oh," she replied a little pathetically, feeling her heart inexplicably sink.

"Yeah," added in Catreena, a horrible girl who shared their dorm and who had entered just as Jennifer had released her last sentence. "What would he want with _you_ anyway, especially when he has the choice between the finest calibre girls in the school? You're out of your league, Evans."

Normally, Lily ignored Catreena, but in this case she couldn't help the small tug her heart gave as it sunk even further.

--

The next morning at breakfast, Lily received a note attached to a beautiful and slightly familiar owl. When she opened it, she discovered the letter was from James and he was requesting she meet him later after curfew.

Lily felt Jennifer's curious gaze on the side of her face, but she pretended not to notice and hastily stuffed the message into her robe pocket.

Lily hesitated. She knew she shouldn't go and meet James, but she suddenly found herself magnetised towards the boy, and so she had decided within seconds to go and meet him despite her reservations.

She told herself she was going because it would be rude not to turn up. When she got there, though, she was just going to tell him what she thought of boys like him, that was all. It certainly wasn't because she wanted to talk to him again.

She had never been one of those silly girls who fell for a boy's line just because he smiled at her, and she wasn't going to become one now, not over James Potter.

She would confront him with her knowledge and coolly tell him that she did _not_ appreciate being played.

--

So later that evening, at the appointed time, she snuck up to the tower room he had designated and waited by an open window for James to turn up.

About ten minutes later there was a swishing noise, much like the one made when a wizard took off his cloak, and Lily spun around quickly, raising her wand in the process and flinging a spell in the direction of the noise.

A bright shield erupted moments before her spell hit the shadowy figure now standing in the doorway.

"Goodness, Evans, spook much?" said James, eyes wide.

"Sorry," she mumbled. "You surprised me and you never can be too careful."

"True. Nice reflexes, by the way," he complimented, as he watched her put her wand away.

"So, what are we doing here?" she asked him suspiciously, ignoring his comment but secretly pleased that she'd impressed such an accomplished dueler. "Why the cloak and dagger routine?"

"Well, there are some obvious obstacles in our plans that need to be overcome, and we need to figure them out in private. The walls have ears in this place, and unless we're extremely clever and discreet, our plan will be around the school before we can even put it into action."

"Yeah, before that…" Lily interrupted, frowning at him.

"Yes?" he prompted, when she didn't finish.

She decided not to beat around the bush. "I've heard… people say that…say that I shouldn't trust you, that I'm stupid for trusting you. They say I should stay away from you," Lily admitted, looking him directly in the eye.

James looked shocked at her abrupt announcement, but did not hesitate before saying sharply, "No, your 'friends' are wrong." He stopped mid- sentence before bursting out with, "Why can't people mind their own fucking business?!"

Hearing Lily's shocked intake of air, he turned to face her and let go of the hair he was gripping. "Please Lily, don't listen to them. Get to know me yourself and make up your own mind about me. Ignore what you've heard or what you're friends think they know – because they don't know – they don't know me or my friends – they just listen to the rubbish that those silly little girls- who have nothing better to do with their time than gossip- make up in their own heads to fill their own empty little lives!"

Lily just stood in a shocked stupor, stunned at his outburst. It didn't matter though, because it appeared that he didn't really need her input for this conversation anyway.

"I bet I haven't been with half the girls or pulled half the stunts your friends think they know about!"

"I'll be the first one to admit I'm not a fucking saint - I've never claimed to be. I've been in fights where I've done damage to property and to people. I'm not a virgin and I haven't been for a while- I like women and I'm not going to pretend otherwise. I drink alcohol and I sneak out of school to drink it, and I got a tattoo of a phoenix when I turned seventeen… I'm no innocent!"

"But if you ask, I'll tell you – I'm a lot of things, but I'm not a liar. So when you hear something, promise to ask me yourself, and not your friends, and we'll get along fine. I promise I'll tell you the truth no matter how gruesome it may be. I've made mistakes but I'm not ashamed of anything I've done."

Lily, who was taken completely by surprise by his intensity, found she could do nothing but nod numbly.

"I'm sorry," she finally managed to say. "I didn't mean to upset you, but she was my only source of information. She's my friend, and I don't really know you at all…"

"I understand," he admitted grudgingly, after taking a deep breath. "And at least you had the common decency to come discuss it with me instead of blindly believing and coming in here screaming at me – I -- appreciate the attitude and the honesty," he said seriously.

"Okay," she replied quietly.

"What was that?" James asked, stunned.

"_I said; okay." _

"_Okay? _Soyou're going to let it go, just like that?" he asked, surprised when she didn't say anything else.

"Just like that," was Lily's firm response. "I'm choosing to trust my instincts and believe you. If this is going to work, we each need to give each other clean slates and you've done nothing to show me I can't trust you so far… but James, please don't prove me wrong."

"Okay," was his simple reply.

"So, now that we have that out of the way, we need to talk about your plan."

--

AN

This chap covered issues that I thought needed to be addressed – If I hadn't I'm sure some of you reviewers out there would have been asking questions

Patience my pretties

Look on the bright side though, I've been spoiling you! There have been many updates this week, no?

I have all the way up to chap 10 written and the 6 chaps after that are already under construction - Keep that in mind…

REVIEW and the updates will come

P.s. I want to thank Izabella Pheonix who pointed out that the end of chap 2 was a little _too_ O/C and a little sudden - I went back and I changed it!


	4. Details, Details

He raised his eyebrows at her tone and she continued. "I'm more than willing to help you with your problem. I doubt pretending to be your girlfriend is going to be difficult, but I got caught up in the excitement of proving my father wrong yesterday and it was only once I calmed down that I realised that my part just isn't doable. There's just no way we can pull it off."

"Why not?" he asked, cocking his head to the side and watching her carefully. "Are you scared of a few little hexes and some big nasty boys?"

"NO, you annoying little brat!" she said, smacking him lightly, surprised when she made contact with his toned stomach and startled further when a feeling of warmth spread through her from the unplanned touch.

"What's the problem then?"

"Well, I'm not a boy for starters. There are no girls on _any_ of the teams – are girls even allowed to participate?" she asked, arching her eyebrows at him.

"No, you are most definitely not a boy," James stated, letting his eyes run over her body appraisingly and Lily couldn't help but smile a little at his obvious appreciation.

"_But_," he said loudly, switching to an official sounding voice, "no where in the schools charter, or the rules of the sport, does it say that a girl _cannot_ take part or be a member of a school team. In fact, hundreds of years ago there were loads of girls participating. It was only when the Victorian mindset filtered into the wizarding and Muggle worlds that women started to be considered the weaker sex, and therefore their involvement deemed unsafe and unladylike."

"Really?" asked Lily, intrigued. "They kept that information quiet, didn't they?! – I reckon there are loads of girls that would love to take part, and it's outrageous to have all this macho bullshit preventing talented duelers from participating just because they don't have the right anatomy!"

"I know, Lily!" James agreed loudly, overriding what was sure to become a rant on women's rights, before asking playfully, "So, any other excuses?"

"I'll need a permission slip signed," she said, crossing her arms and smirking. "Which my father will _never_ do."

"Ahhh, the joys of a forgery," James singsonged.

"I can't _forge_ his signature, the teachers would know in an instant, there are spells they use to check!"

James laughed. "Who ever said anything about forging his _signature_?"

Expecting Lily's obvious confusion, James elaborated without waiting for a comment ."He's a Muggle right?"

"Yeah, so?"

"So, all we have to do is charm the dueling permission slip to look like a… I dunno…a … a dance class permission slip –"

"There are no dance classes at Hogwarts," Lily pointed out bemusedly,

"It doesn't matter because your dad won't know that – I'm sure he'll sign it in seconds. Then it's a simple matter of ending the charm so that we'll have the correct slip with a perfectly legitimate signature!"

Lily opened her mouth to protest, but could find nothing wrong with his plan, so instead, tackled a different problem. "I love watching duels, and I'm rather good at Defence, but I've only ever tried dueling in class once or twice with a friend – I've certainly never done it competitively before."

"You'll be fine and you'll make the team, I'll make sure of it," he confidently said, waving her worries off. "As long as you have a good basic knowledge of charms and hexes, which I know you have because of your class ranking, I can teach you the rest – before long you'll probably be the best on the team… other than me, of course!"

"Oh, of course," Lily said weakly.

"Lily, are you running out of excuses already?" James sighed disappointedly. "I was sure you were more creative than that!"

After taking time to think, she triumphantly retorted, "The team won't accept me. _Technically_, I may be allowed to join, but if what you just told me is true, I'll be one of the first girls in a hundred years! Not to mention the fact that if my father comes to see the tournament, he'll pull me out the moment he sees me in the uniform. He'll spot me straight away!"

"How could he not?" James laughed, grabbing a lock of her hair and tugging gently, "With hair like this?!" When he saw her outraged look though, he rolled his eyes. "It was a compliment, Lily," he sighed. "You have lovely hair. Are you always this defensive?"

Lily settled down a little before smirking, "Lovely or not, it's still a problem."

He laughed. "_Lily, Lily, Lily_, welcome to the world of the Marauders,. There is very little that can't be done with a little thought and some masterful brewing skills," he assured, pulling a backpack off his back.

Intrigued, Lily looked at the contents before yelling out, "You've got to be bloody kidding me!"

"You certainly have the language for the sport," James dryly remarked.

"You want me to take potions so I'll look like a _boy_?" Lily asked faintly, all colour suddenly draining from her face.

"Yeah" he shrugged, smiling slightly at the look of total shock and terror on her face.

"That's…that's just ridiculous… isn't that taking this just a little too far…A _boy_, you want me to act, dress, talk… all round _pretend_ to be a _boy…_ _in front of people_?!"

"You won't be dressed as a boy _all _the time, "he comforted desperately, trying not to laugh at her reaction. "Just while you're at team training and at the actual competition, of course."

"A boy," Lily repeated quietly to herself, trying to wrap her mind around the concept.

"How else did you expect to do it?" he asked, interrupting her thoughts gently. "Your previous points were all very valid; your father would pull you out of the tournament the moment he realised what you intended to do, and although I think that the guys on the Gryffindor team would be very accepting of you once you'd proved yourself, I don't want to put you in that kind of danger."

"Danger?" she sceptically asked.

"Of course," he replied seriously. "Don't you think being the first girl on a team in centuries would be like placing a large target on your back? It's a very testosterone driven sport and a lot of people will be out for your blood – trying to prove you don't belong there. This way-" he said, lifting the bag a little, "-when you reveal yourself at the end of the tournament, not only will you have proved yourself to your father, but you will also have unequivocally proved, _without prejudice_, to the school that girls are more than capable of taking part and, if all goes well, more than capable of winning."

Lily nodded faintly, desperately trying to digest everything.

"Not to mention, as my girlfriend, both you and I would receive a lot of flack if you joined the team as…you. Everyone would say I put you on the team because of how I 'feel' about you, no matter how good you are, or will be. It would tarnish your performance and my term as captain."

"Bloody hell."

James snorted but didn't bother to respond otherwise.

"What about the teachers?" she feebly asked, trying not to think about what she would have to do and what would happen if she was discovered before the right time.

"I think you'll find that when you have a reasonable request – and sometimes even when it's unreasonable – Professor Dumbledore can be exceedingly accommodating," James confided, smiling at her conspiratorially.

"You want to ask Dumbledore?!"

"I already did—and of course I asked him, I would never do something like this without his permission, not to mention we never would have got it past him even if we'd tried. He knows every student who has ever passed under his tutelage. You think he'd miss an unknown, tiny, redheaded boy taking part in the most prominent dueling competition of the year?"

"No, I guess not," she smiled weakly. "Okay, fine, we'll practice alone and _if_ I feel like I have a _real_ shot, then I'll go with you to a team practice. If all goes well and we pull it off there… well then… we'll see."

"Excellent. Knew you'd see it my way eventually," James crowed.

"A boy," said Lily to herself, shaking her head one last time in disbelief. She decided it was best to move on and just not think about what she'd just agreed to do too much; if she did, she knew she'd back out. "Okay, so on to my end of the bargain then."

"Your end?" he asked, frowning.

"_Yes_, I think we need to establish some boundaries – if I'm going to pretend to be your girlfriend, that is."

"Oh yeah, I guess you're right – this needs to be smooth and fluid if it's going to be believable."

"_And_ we don't want any misunderstandings," Lily added.

"What kind of misunderstandings?" James asked innocently, but by the way his eyes set fire Lily knew he'd understood what she'd meant.

When she eyed him crossly, he became serious again. "Yeah, okay, so…well classes won't be a problem because we're always assigned seating. And unless we want to get detentions for inappropriate behaviour in classes, we won't be able to talk or anything so… so it's only at meal times, in between classes and in the common room that we have to do anything," he finished.

"Yeah, _so_?" Lily said, waiting for him to make the first suggestion.

"So?" mimicked James.

"Umm… How about we eat meals together?" Lily offered.

"Definitely," James agreed before saying, "I'll walk you to class as often a possible?"

"Fine."

"And I'll carry your books," he said firmly.

"You bloody well will not!"

James sighed, having expected that. "Fine, how about I carry half your books?"

Lily contemplated that. "_Fine_, but _only_ if I have more than four in my arms."

"Done," James agreed quickly, knowing that that was the best concession he could expect, as he knew how fiercely independent she could be.

"Evenings?" she questioned.

"How about we work together on homework for an hour in the common room? At least that way we're being productive _and_ putting on a show, and then when we slip out, people will think we're going off to snog in a classroom somewhere and what we'll _actually_ be doing is going to a classroom and practicing?"

"Yeah, that's good… _really_ good – I'm so glad you're on my side!" she finished jokingly.

James laughed before saying, quite seriously, "After this favour, I'll always be on your side."

She smiled gently at that. "If we pull this off, I think we'll be even." She adopted her professional demeanour again. "Okay, now the hard part."

"What hard part?" James asked stupidly.

"Affection. We're going to have to be semi-affectionate if this is going to be even reasonably believable. We're both known to be quite passionate people, so there's no way either of us would be in a serious relationship without giving it our all," she stated confidently.

"True, how about holding hands?"

"Can't really be avoided," she sighed.

James looked up at her quickly at that.

"Not that I'd want to avoid it, per se, I'm sure you have lovely hands. I was just commenting on the necessity of it… oh never mind – you may also put your arm over my shoulder, but at no point are your hands to rest any lower than my waist," she stipulated, looking straight at him.

"Okay," responded James. "Names?"

When Lily looked at him blankly, James rolled his eyes before dryly saying, "We can't keep calling each other by our surnames."

Lily scrunched up her nose before saying, "I don't really like pet names, especially not mushy ones, but I suppose you're right. We can't call each other Potter and Evans anymore. We should use our Christian names and…I guess you can call me 'Lils', if you'd like."

"_Lils_?" he smiled.

"Yeah," she said self-consciously. "The only other person to call me that is my dad," she shrugged.

"I like it," he said softly. "It's kind of sweet."

"Thanks," she said uncertainly, before asking, "So what about you?"

"Well, the boys call me Prongs, and I refuse to repeat what my mother likes to call me, it's too humiliating." Lily grinned at that. "So I guess you can call me whatever you like, except Jim, I hate Jim."

"Okay, snuggle tush," she joked.

"Stop, that's almost as bad as my mother," he smiled good-naturedly, before asking nervously, "Umm what about kissing?"

"No," she firmly told him. "I'm not some kind of whore and you don't get freebies with the act!"

"I know you're not, and I know I don't," he was quick to say."But we're going to have to do more than hold hands with the occasional hug, otherwise people will start to talk," he argued softly. "Come on, Lily, you know I'm right – would it really be that _bad_ to have me kiss you a little?"

"Fine," she conceded. "Hair, cheek, with a small pecks on the mouth _if_, and only if, the occasion desperately calls for it. It doesn't really need to be more than that, and if anyone asks- I just don't like public displays of affection."

James nodded. "Fine. You're going to have to meet my parents at some point, too."

"Really?" she asked nervously.

"Yeah – did you think I could just write letters telling them about you and that would be enough?"

"Well, _yes_ actually," Lily admitted, suddenly feeling a little stupid.

James laughed, without any malice. "Oh, Lily, do you honestly think it's that easy for me? If that was the case, I would have done something like this _ages_ ago. Heck, I may even have made a girlfriend up if it got me some peace, but I'm afraid any girls I start to date seriously are summoned to my house and _inspected_."

"Inspected?" she asked incredulously.

"Yeah, how do you think I got such a _good_ reputation?" he asked sarcastically.

Lily shook her head indicating she had no idea.

"You remember fourth year?"

"Sure," she shrugged before smiling, "but you're going to have to be a little more specific."

He rolled his eyes at her before continuing. "Remember? That was when I got my first serious girlfriend."

Lily looked thoughtful for a second. "Oh yeah, ummm Karen? – Karen...?"

"McHaven." James supplied helpfully. "She was sweet and we liked each other in that childish, 'first serious crush' way - but after my family's interrogation she was so traumatised she broke up with me. After that, I've never allowed a relationship to last longer than a month and I never let it get serious. I didn't see the point. So, naturally, I seem to go thought a lot of girls."

"Oh… I see," she said, just because she couldn't think of anything else to say.

"Yeah," he said, voice deadpanned. "Anyway, you've got fire – I actually think you might pass inspection."

"How do you know?" she asked curiously.

"I like you," was his simple reply before continuing. "Even if you don't _pass,_ I know you're not the type of girl go to crying into your pillow afterwards. You can take it."

Lily blushed at his compliment, inordinately flattered by how he thought she could take it _and_ that he thought his parents would like her.

"But what about when it ends, won't the process just start again? You'll be right back where you started."

"Probably," he shrugged. "But if they think I like you enough I'm sure I'll be allowed a recovery period. By that time, who knows? Maybe I'll be ready to _actually_ consider getting married, and if not, at least I will have had _some_ peace."

Lily scoffed, but let it go.

"Okay, so tomorrow we start; we'll walk to a few classes together, be seen having a few conversations, and then in a few days you sit with me in the common room. We'll hold hands, flirt a little, and then we'll seem to be having a… a… serious conversation. That can be when I ask you out." Seeing her nod, he finished by saying, "What we'll really be doing is working on the permission slip."

"Okay, that's fine," sighed Lily.

"Right. So tomorrow, the ball starts to roll?"

"Can't wait." Lily replied dryly.

--

AN

I had a hard time deciding if I should go down the "cross dressing" route – I thought it might be a little "hammy" or perhaps even "childish"? I even have an alternate chap – so if you would prefer her to get on the team as…_her_ just let me know and I will repost

I would like to send out, get wells to pippapear, and Kate who both have colds at the moment – I hope this chap goes a small way to making you feel better – even if it is only for a second! (same goes to anyone else who's feeling poorly)

REVIEW!


	5. Rolling Balls

Lily and James spent the next few days making sure they were seen together in various public places, trying to give the impression that they were on friendly terms, and hoping to plant the thought in the minds of the student body that something was building between them.

One evening, about a week later, they took the plunge and sat next to each other in the Great Hall and had dinner together.

Initially, they received a few raised eyebrows, especially from their friends, but after the shock wore off and Lily and James made no other strange movements, people quickly lost interest in them and went back to their own business.

As soon as the gossipers had turned away, James turned toward Lily as she whispered, "If just sitting next to each other at dinner attracts so much interest, Merlin help us when the rumours really start to fly!"

James chuckled and decided, for appearances sake, to whisper his response in her ear. "We'll manage. Anyway _that_ is nothing to the show we're going to have to put on in the common room later."

"Yeah, I know," Lily said, as though trying to mentally brace herself. Suddenly feeling a little nauseous, she decided she'd had enough to eat, and pushed her plate away. She stood up and vaguely excused herself. "See you there."

He watched her bemusedly as she made her abrupt departure, his eyes staying firmly on her as she left the hall.

After only a few moments James stood up as well, leaving his food half finished. He followed in her footsteps, and suddenly interest was piqued again; James Potter had just left in the middle of dinner _and_ he'd left to follow Lily Evans.

---

James soon caught up with Lily and convinced her to take a stroll around the grounds. He hoped to both soothe her nerves and kill time before returning to the common room, knowing that by the time they returned most people would be back from dinner.

"Are you sure about this, James?" She finally spoke as they took a seat by the lake. "Because once we start, there's no going back."

"Am I sure I want some time off the 'marriage market'?" he quipped with a chuckle, looking towards her as she stared out over the rippling water. "Don't ask silly questions, _Lils_," he said, nudging her in a friendly way.

Lily rolled her eyes at his use of her pet name. "Seriously, James. Karen was years ago... perhaps your parents have changed? Have you ever really tried to talk to them about it?"

"Of course," he said, his voice suddenly rough. "We had a major fight about it _after_ Karen, and several smaller ones since, but they say they need to be _sure_ I'm getting serious about the _right_ kind of girls."

"The right Right kind?" Lily questioned tightly.

"I already told you," he said, interpreting her emotions correctly, "they don't care about blood purity. By 'right girls' they mean 'nice girls', girls who don't sleep around, girls who aren't using sex as a weapon, using me for my money and family name … trying to _ensnare_ me," he grumbled as he leaned back against a tree.

"Oh," she frowned, copying his movements.

"Yeah, like I can't make that judgment for myself!" he said, getting more irate the more he talked about it. "I know _exactly_ what some girls want. I've never been _that_ much of an idiot, but when I was younger - I just chose not to care that they were using sex to get what they wanted, as long as _I_ was getting something in return."

Lily choked on a laugh. "Nice, James, _real_ nice!"

He smiled ruefully. "I'm not particularly proud of it, but I can honestly say that those girls knew what they were doing too and that it was _always_ mutual."

"Okay, enough!" Lily stopped him, covering her ears jokingly. "I think I've heard enough about you and your sexual escapades to last me forever!"

"Sorry," he said with a grin, not sounding remorseful in the least.

Lily chose to ignore him and went back to their original conversation. "Well don't forget the poor girl could only have been fourteen, at most, when she met your parents. If I'd been interrogated by grown adults at that age I might have run away too. Perhaps a girlfriend wouldn't be quite so intimidated when she's seventeen?"

James smiled. "True, but no, I don't think it's any easier now. If anything they've become even more aggressive. _Now_ I'm old enough for there to be an actual chance of a relationship leading to marriage – they won't leave any stone unturned. Trust me."

"Okay, I believe you… I just wanted to make sure you'd really thought our plan through."

"Of course I have – Are you sure _you_ want to do this Lily?" he asked, eyeing her searchingly. "What's with the change of attitude?"

Lily didn't reply, looking away from his probing gaze.

He rested a hand on the side of her face and turned her back towards him, lowering his head a little so he could catch her eye. "What happened to make you so nervous?"

"Oh," she sighed, "it's nothing. Just Catreena, a girl in my dorm." He nodded stiffly, indicating that he knew who Catreena was and didn't particularly like her.

"Well, she said that you're out of my league." She held up a hand to stem James's protests before they started. "And whilst normally I don't listen to any of her drivel, I can't help but wonder if that's what _everyone_ is going to think when they see me with you – and if she's right then no one going to believe in us ---"

Lily stopped mid sentence as James burst in to laughter. "What are you laughing at?!" she cried heatedly.

"What—" he tried to say, choking on a laugh.

"Oh, I see. Even _you_ find it funny," she noted sadly, after watching him chuckle a while longer.

"What, no!" he defended, surprised at the turn of events as his laughter died on his lips. "Oh Lily," he sighed, "what ever makes you think she's right? She wouldn't know class if it hit her in the face. I'm not out of your league," he said, bringing his hand back up to hold her face. "If anything, it's the other way around," he earnestly assured her.

"You have to say that because you want my help." she groused.

"Lily, what bloke _wouldn't_ want to be with you? You're beautiful and intelligent and kind, you look innocent, but you have this really wicked side, and you definitely _know_ more than you let on. It all mixes together to make you very appealing and very… _sexy_," he finished with a smile.

Lily looked at him through her eyelashes. "_Really_?"

"I already told you-- _I don't lie_."

---

"Everyone is staring at us!" Lily whispered in an unusually high voice when they finally entered the common room.

"Well, what did you expect?" he asked, looking at her strangely. "We're not normally seen together and suddenly we're being spotted with each other all the time? That's going to draw attention all on its own, then if you add the fact that we're not yelling at each other, we're the most interesting thing that's happened in weeks!"

Seeing her starting to look a little green, he stopped her half way across the room. "This is what we wanted, yeah?" he asked, rubbing small reassuring circles on her hand. "We want people to notice," he reminded her quietly.

"Yeah, we want to be noticed, that's right," she murmured, relaxing a little under his ministrations. "Sorry, I guess I'm just a little nervous about being under the spotlight. I'm not used to so much attention."

James decided now was not the time to mention that she attracted attention wherever she went, no matter what she was doing _or_ who she was with.

Instead, he gently told her, "Better get used to it," before abruptly changing his tone. "We can't be too obvious tonight. We have to look like we're shy about it, like it's a little unexpected. But we also have to look comfortable enough to make it seem like perhaps we've been flirting for a while and it's all culminating."

"Is it even possible to look like all those things at the same time?" Lily nervously asked, trying to distract herself from the heat of so many eyes on her.

"Of course," he said confidently, as he led her over to a sofa in front of the fire. "Plus, if we can make it look like it's been building and now it's reached the point where we can't help it, it will be more believable. You're not the type of girl to just _say_ yes to anyone, and I'm not the type of guy to _ask_ just anyone. Despite the rumours, the girls in this school know how fussy I can be-- that's actually why they can all be so fucking bitchy," he ended, a bit angrily.

"Oh," Lily said, frowning as she rubbed his shoulder absently. He started to calm down and Lily shook her head and smiled. "How do you think of all this stuff?"

"It's what I do," he quipped. "Hanging out with the Marauders and pulling pranks does have its uses," he added mysteriously.

She just raised her eyebrows in question.

"Made me learn to plan for every eventuality," he shrugged, " and to look for every angle – it comes in useful in so many ways – it even helps my dueling," he added.

Lily laughed. "Who would have thought?! Okay, so how do we go about making this look _natural_, oh wise one?

"Umm, let's start by sitting next to each other as close as we can possible get," he said, indicating she should move closer as he discreetly moved towards her.

She complied and sat so close to him she could feel his warm body pressed all along the one side.

"Now, grab that potions book you were reading before dinner and place it between us so it looks like we're both trying to read it."

"Okay, but why does this help?" she questioned, doing as he asked.

"Because it would look forced if we just sat next to each other staring at the wall," he chuckled into her ear, making it appear to anyone who was watching that he was whispering something much more intimate.

Lily smiled, catching onto what he was doing, and added to the performance herself by leaning back into the cushions and resting her head on his arm where it had been lying across the back of the sofa behind her . She tilted her head further backwards so she could look into his eyes, which where sparkling with mirth and interest, wondering what she would do next.

"Is it working?" she whispered quietly, and he briefly allowed his eyes to leave hers to scan the room.

"_Oh yeah_," he replied as he smoothed a hand down her arm, a little shocked himself by just how many people were watching them, each with their own varying degree of subtlety.

"What is it?" she asked, reading the surprise on his face as she tilted her head to the side so that it rested in the crook of his neck.

"Nothing," he chuckled, not wanting her to freak out again. He grabbed a lock of her hair and ran it around his fingers, saying, "You know, you're good at this… perhaps a little _too_ good."

She smiled. "Nah. It's not too hard being affectionate with you…so long as you're not acting like a prat." She grinned before reaching forward to pull something out of her bag, saving James the embarrassment of letting her see him blush.

Having found what she was looking for, she sat back and resumed her position. But this time, she pulled her legs underneath her, settling more fully against him, looking to all the world as if she were snuggling into him.

"Wha—what's that?" he asked, trying to ignore the new position he now found himself in, and the _spectacular_ view he had down her shirt.

"It's the permission slip," she answered quietly.

"Right... right. The permission slip," he said, mentally shaking himself. "Do you know how to charm it to make it look like something else?"

"Umm… yeah, but we need something to copy, we need whatever we want it to look like," she said, frowning as she realised she didn't have anything of the sort. After all, there was no such thing as a dance class at Hogwarts.

She turned worried eyes on him and he smiled reassuringly. "Oh ye of little faith!" he grinned, before producing a slip of parchment from his pocket and passing it into her waiting hands.

"I told you," he said to her surprised look, "I'm a Marauder. I look from every angle."

Lily unfolded the parchment and was stunned and relieved to find a perfect replica of the standard Hogwarts permission slip-- only this one specified dance as the extracurricular activity.

"Wow, how—you know what? I don't think I want to know," she stopped herself. She performed the charm without further question.

They both watched as the official form for dueling morphed and rearranged of its own accord, eventually leaving them with one disguised dueling permission form and one useless form for an activity that didn't exist.

She sighed as it finally hit her that they were _really_ going to go through with their plan.

"You didn't think I'd forget, did you?" James asked, when the forgery was finally put away in Lily's pocket and the copy burned by the tip of his wand.

"Forget?" she mimicked, confused.

"You thought I'd forgotten that I said I'd help you with the slip."

"No, of course not, but I have to admit I didn't expect you to already have a mock up of the slip. Where do you find the time?"

"I did it before breakfast this morning. It didn't take long. I – I may have done something like that," he indicated to the forgery, "before."

Lily smirked at him, but said nothing other than, "Thanks."

He shrugged. "I said I would help you."

"Yes, you did, and I said I'd help _you_," she said, turning her head into his shoulder, both of them being reminded of the position they had been seated in the whole time. "So, say something that will embarrass me," she told him quietly, "and hold my hand while you do it."

"You are definitely too good at this," he mused before complying and taking her hand gently in his, softly placing a kiss on her palm before pulling her hand over into his lap. He leaned down to her ear once again and told her about the time he'd walked in on Remus and one of her Ravenclaw friends in a compromising position.

She giggled, but did not blush, which surprised him and made him wonder just how innocent she really was. But that thought was for another time and he had a job to do, so he changed his approach and, instead of being crude, he simply whispered how beautiful he thought she was, causing her to blush magnificently.

He grinned in a self satisfied way and his smile grew wider when he saw the similar sparkle in her eyes.

She nodded her head exaggeratedly for the benefit of their audience and placed a lingering kiss on his cheek before getting up, walking to the stairwell and sending one more playful look at him over her shoulder, discreetely tapping her back pocket where the slip to send to her father rested.

James watched her, a silly smile on his face, until she was out of sight before turning his gaze back to the common room at large. Unlike before, he didn't just find some of the people in the room looking at him, he found _everyone_ staring at him—some with confusion, some with small smiles, and some with obvious anger—but he ignored it all, too happy to care.

The rumour that they were dating would be all over the school tomorrow, and it would be confirmed as fact when he walked into breakfast with Lily on his arm.

Their plan was working.

---

AN

Well most of you seem to have an opinion on the whole cross dressing issue… the problem is you all said something different!

I'm still not sure if I've made the right decision but if I don't carry on down this route then I'd have to do a fair amount of editing and even whole chap deletions… so I think, instead of wasting the work I've already done and trying to write certain things from scratch, I'll stick with what I've got!

I hope that doesn't disappoint anyone

x


	6. Friendly Lies

His satisfaction was short lived though, because as soon as Lily had vacated the area, the other Marauders descended on him, crowding around him. Remus and Peter stared at him incredulously and Sirius eyed him shrewdly.

"That was quite some show you and Lily put on just now." Remus smiled as he discreetly cast a privacy spell.

"Show?" James asked warily.

"Yeah, no one could take their eyes off of you," Peter noted.

"People shouldn't be so bloody nosy. It's not any of their business," James grumped, but was secretly pleased they had managed to achieve their goal.

"I agree," Remus nodded placating, "but I have to admit that even I was fascinated." He watched James's reaction closely.

"Why? Is it really so impossible to believe that Lily would willingly have a conversation with me?"

"If you'd asked me that a week ago I would have said 'Yes, it is impossible,'" Remus laughed. "So, come on James, tell us what's changed. What's going on?"

"What do you mean?" James questioned tightly.

Peter spoke up. "Suddenly, you're having conversations in the hallways. You're helping her when she's stuck with something or when she has too many books. And now, you're having dinner together. Come on, James. What's going on?"

"So what, we're spending time together. It's not illegal is it?"

"No," Remus said holding up his hand, showing him that they meant no offence. "We're glad you've finally managed to befriend her… it's just…. we're..." He trailed off, frowning.

"…worried," supplied Peter.

"Why?" James asked, surprise evident in his voice.

"None of us wants a repeat of last time James. You were…" Remus trailed off.

"I was what?" James asked, a dangerous note entering his tone.

"It was rough on you for a while there," Remus answered carefully.

"We were just having dinner," James sighed in aggravation. "I like her. She's fun… it's not a crime!"

"No its not… but just now, in the common room, you we're getting really close…. closer than people who are just having a _conversation_ get. And I know this is going to sound mad, but…" Remus hesitated.

"But it sure looked like you were asking her out," Peter finished.

"So what if I was!?"

Peter's mouth snapped shut at that, and his eyes widened in shock.

"Did you?" Remus asked with awe.

"Yeah, I did," James answered defensively. "What about it?!"

A thick silence followed _that_ announcement.

"What… what did she say?" Remus finally managed to ask.

"She said yes, thank you very much!"

"Sorry," Remus said quickly, noticing that James' anger was rising rapidly.

"James, mate?" Sirius spoke up for the first time, drawing James's attention from Remus.

"Yeah?" he replied, frowning slightly, looking to Sirius warily, knowing that this friend was going to be the hardest to convince. Sometimes James wondered if Sirius knew him too well.

Sirius proved James right when he asked seriously, "Are you sure you know what you're doing?"

"Excuse me?" James asked, avoiding eye contact.

"Are you sure you know what you're doing?" Sirius repeated, emphasising each word once he'd gained James' reluctant gaze.

"Doing about what?" James said, purposely trying to be difficult.

"Don't be dense James," Sirius scolded. "Are you sure you know what you're doing with Lily?"

"What about her?" James sighed, starting to get frustrated with his friends.

"Don't mess with me, James," Sirius commanded. "I'm worried about you, just like they are." He continued gesturing vaguely in the other Marauders' direction.

"Why?"

"Well, it's just that, we thought you were finally over her and then you start _dating_ her. Are you sure you want to open yourself up to her again? After last time –"

"This is nothing like before!" James snapped defensively.

"Okay, fine. I'm really pleased for you; that you finally have your chance – you deserve it …but…" Sirius trailed off.

"But?"

"But I'm still concerned… you're not going to be in the same place as her."

"Same place?"

"Yeah, she thinks you're going on a few casual dates to see if there's something between you… and you… you've had a thing for her for years," Sirius explained carefully.

"It hasn't been years!" James denied vehemently.

"Yes it has! I know you think I'm too oblivious to have noticed," Sirius put in forcefully, "and I know you think you were being discreet, but I saw the way you used to watch her. I'm not even sure you knew you were doing it, but still, you watched her constantly… still do, although, now I know why…"

"So what?" James asked, just wanting to get the conversation over with as quickly as possible, and so, not even bothering to deny what Sirius was saying.

"_So_…this _relationship_ means more to you than it does to her," Sirius replied simply.

"Don't be stupid. Even if that were true, I'd still have to give it a shot – what are you saying? I want to be with her so the best thing to do is _not_ date her? That's -- the most backwards, _ridiculous_, thing I think I've ever heard!"

"I'm not telling you _not_ to date her." Sirius shook his head emphatically. "I'm just trying to prepare you for the fact that this isn't as important to her as it is to you… not yet at least, and I just don't want you to get hurt…again."

"Merlin, Sirius, you're starting to sound like a girl. All of you are…. I'm a big boy now and if this all goes wrong… at least I'll know that I gave it a shot."

Sirius stared intently before nodding. "Okay, good…. then I guess I'm really happy for you."

"Us, too," Remus supplied for himself and Peter.

James stood up abruptly, the guilt that had been welling up inside of him starting to become suffocating. He hated lying to them, especially Sirius.

"Thanks," he mumbled, before hastily making his way to bed.

--

"Where have you been?" Jennifer questioned lightly from her bed as Lily entered her dorm, having just left James. "You were right behind us one minute and then gone the next!"

"A better question might be _who_ has she been with?" Catreena interrupted snidely as she entered the room, before Lily even had a chance to open her mouth.

"What? I wasn't talking to you," Jennifer snapped harshly at Catreena, before sending a probing look at Lily.

"Oh I know, just thought I'd try and be helpful." Catreena smiled evilly.

"Well, don't," Lily fired back at her.

"I don't know how you manage to keep track of her _at all_ anymore Jennifer," Catreena said, ignoring Lily. "What with her always sneaking out recently…"

"I don't sneak out!" Lily defended indignantly, wishing Catreena would just shut up. She could see from the mean glint in her eye that she was trying to drop Lily in it, and they both knew she would succeed if Lily didn't stop her soon.

"Yeah, twelve o'clock, bit late for a trip to the library, wouldn't you say, Jennifer?" asked Catreena in a seemingly innocent voice, her large smirk the only evidence that she knew what she was starting.

"At that time of night, it's more likely to be boy than the library," joked Emily, who also sat on Jennifer's bed, before shutting her mouth with an audible snap, realising what she'd said and its implications.

"A boy?!" Samantha yelled from the bathroom, her voice echoing loudly through the room and leaving an awkward silence in its wake.

"Oh _yeah_, didn't you see her at dinner? She was stuck to James Potter's side like some kind of rash," Catreena called back to the clueless Samantha. She watched the circle of silent friends in front of her meanly, before gleefully adding, "When she left, he wasn't too far behind, perhaps that would explain her _mysterious_ disappearance."

Then, talking to Jennifer but refusing to take her eyes off of Lily, she continued, "I was down in the common room just now too, and you should have _seen_ them, all over one another. Oh sure, it started off innocently _enough_, both of them working on some project, but towards the end it sure looked like he was asking her out!"

Jennifer sucked in a harsh breath. Catreena paused dramatically before taking perverse pleasure in saying, slowly and deliberately, "And judging by the blush, nod, and lingering look she gave him, I'd say she… _agreed_."

With that last announcement, Catreena called for Samantha to follow her. They both swiftly left the room, Samantha sending her congratulations towards Lily as she was roughly pulled out the door.

Their departure left a stiff and tense atmosphere, but it was soon broken when, just like before, Jennifer's angry voice demanded, "Where _have_ you been, Lily?"

Instead of answering, Lily sighed unenthusiastically. "I'm getting really tired of being greeted like that!"

"Well, stop doing things that require me to want to shout at you!" was the tart response.

"Oh, and pray tell, what is it that I've done?" Lily asked mockingly. "What have I done that has affected _you_ so badly today? Because I know you're not about to shout at me about James _again,_ since I've discussed this with you once already and I refuse to repeat myself!"

"Excuse me for being worried about my friend when she starts to act strangely! Excuse me for worrying when her opinion of one of the most untrustworthy boys miraculously changes within less than a week! Excuse me for thinking that it's not _normal_!"

"How would you know? Do you follow me around making a mental list of all the people I talk to? Oh no, wait, I know! You're a mind reader?!" Lily said widening her eyes dramatically.

"No, of course not! Please be serious... I'm worried!"

"For your information," Lily coolly replied, "I've had many pleasant conversations with James recently." She knew she was stretching the truth a little, seeing as _recently_ meant since last week, but she saw no other choice. She couldn't tell Jennifer the truth because she'd never hear the end of it. Jennifer would probably wear Lily down until she backed out.

"Merlin, what is wrong with you?!" Lily carried on in a loud voice. "You're acting like you've never liked someone with a shady past! Does the name Sirius Black ring any bells?" she asked poignantly, hearing Emily tut at her in the background for her tactlessness.

"Exactly!" Jennifer shouted. "I've been there, I've done that! I have experience and I don't want you to make the same mistakes I did!"

"I won't!" Lily argued firmly. "James isn't Sirius and, even if he was, it's my choice to risk heartbreak. Just like I let you get on with it even though I knew it would end badly with Sirius."

Jennifer sighed.

"Could we please just agree to disagree?" Lily asked, seeing her friend falter. "I really don't want to fight with you about this – I'm doing it, and nothing you can say will stop me."

"It's my choice who I talk to," Lily continued, taking Jennifer's hand. She really didn't want to fight with her about that, of all things. "And it's definitely my choice who I decided to date," she said softly. "As my friend, it's your job to support me even if I _am_ being an idiot. It's _not_ your job to berate me every time I walk through a bloody door— if this is a mistake let it be _my_ mistake."

Jennifer looked at the floor resignedly, knowing that once Lily made up her mind there was no stopping her. "I'm sorry, Lily. I'm sorry for acting like your mother-- I'm not your mother and I realise that. I'm your friend. It's just that seeing you get involved with them brings back bad memories."

"Okay," Lily nodded, accepting the truth of that statement and the apology.

"I just hope you don't expect me to sit with them," Jennifer suddenly said. "Because I can't promise I won't gouge Black's eyes out!"

"Fine," Lily giggled, acquiescing to her friend's terms, before carefully adding, "But what happened between you and Black was years ago and, if I remember correctly, even at the time he said you had it all wrong. Maybe it's time you listened to what he has to say. After all, what could it hurt?" Lily smiled encouragingly.

"I suppose," Jennifer grudgingly agreed, "but I make no promises. We'll see how it goes first."

"Are you two done now?" Emily wearily asked from her bed, where she'd laid down the moment the two of them had begun to argue.

"Yeah," Lily said, giving Jennifer a hard look.

"Yeah," Jennifer eventually agreed, albeit reluctantly.

"Good," said Emily, bouncing up and over to Lily. "Now tell me!"

"Tell you what?" Lily laughed at her friend's excitement.

"Is it all true?"

"Is what true?"

"That you fancy Potter and that you're going out with him?" Emily breathlessly asked, gripping her friend's forearms tightly.

"Ummm…yeah," replied Lily, smearing a smile over her face as she said it, and only feeling the slightest twinge of guilt for lying.

Emily giggled and pulled Lily into a tight hug. "I'm so happy for you -- and I trust your judgement," she whispered, causing Lily to tighten her hold and prolong the hug a little longer, very thankful for Emily.

Jennifer made a sound reminiscent of a dying cat, but held her tongue. Lily was truly grateful for that, sending a thankful smile at her friend to show her appreciation.

--

AN

I hope you all enjoyed this little insight into their relationships with the friends – I don't think chaps like this will be happening all that often

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

ps. Happy Halloween, Happy Polling Day (for the US) Happy Bonfire Night (for the UK) and.... I can't think of anything else but you catch my drift!


	7. Feel the Burn

"Get up!" James shouted, rudely awakening a sleeping Lily. He quickly followed his abrupt and obnoxious greeting by swiftly pulling her covers right off her body, exposing her to the chilly early morning air.

"Wha—?" Lily asked sleepily, sitting up quickly, arms swinging wildly, shocked by the sudden noise and change in atmosphere.

"Well, that was certainly easier than waking Sirius," James mused thoughtfully, as Lily swung her head about in confusion. "Although, you're not much more alert than he is in the mornings," he noted with amusement.

Regaining some coherence, Lily stared at him like he was an apparition, before asking the first thought that came into her foggy mind. "How in the world did you get _up_ here?"

"Oh, it's quite simple. I'll show you later if you'd like," he said, way too cheerfully for so early in the morning.

He suddenly lit his wand in the dim room, causing Lily to squint at the sudden brightness. After waiting a moment, and allowing her eyes to adjust, Lily incredulously asked, "What are you _doing_ here… are you on drugs?"

James chuckled quietly, not wanting to risk waking the other girls more than he already had.

"No, of course not, I'm just a morning person – that _and_ I'm looking forward to your first work out – now get up. If you're going to be ready in time to have a full hour outside, we need to get going."

Lily looked blearily at her bedside clock

"Five-thirty in the morning? You've got to be fucking kiddin' me!" she exclaimed, laying back down and curling herself in a ball to keep warm, seeing as James had confiscated her sheets, and after a few lame and unsuccessful attempts to retrieve them back from him, she gave it up as a lost cause.

He sighed patiently, realising that she was going to be a little more difficult to persuade than he'd originally thought. "You know, for some reason, I thought you might be a morning person too," he mused.

Lily merely made a sound that was a cross between a scoff, a whine, and a snore in retort.

"Come on, don't make me force you, Lily, because it won't be pretty. We're going to be spending an awful lot of time together over the next few months, and the last thing I want to do is start it off by fighting with you."

Lily groaned before saying, in a whine, "But why now?! It's barely even light out yet, just a few more minutes…" she finished, snuggling her face down further into her pillow and trying to pretend he wasn't there.

Briefly, considering some of the more _unusual_ techniques he used on Sirius when he refused to get up, James finally decided to take pity on her. It was, after all, her first morning with him as her duelling partner and he thought he should go easy on her. So he tried to _encourage_ her out of bed instead of forcing it. "How about if I promise to get you some coffee before we start?"

Lily cracked one eye open to curiously inspect him. "And a muffin?"

"And a muffin," he confirmed.

"Promise?"

"Promise," he said solemnly, smiling at her childlike innocence at this time of the morning, before tugging gently at the arm she'd slung over the side of the bed.

"Okay, _fine_," Lily sighed, stretching her stiff muscles out like a cat before crawling out of bed.

She stood there swaying on her feet, her eyes falling shut periodically before she'd snap them back open.

James valiantly held in an un-gentlemanly snigger that was dying to come out, walked over to her and turned her around, and pushed her towards the bathroom.

She allowed him to guide her through the door, too tired to complain about being corralled by him, and returned ten minutes later looking much more awake and like her usual self, albeit a little more tired than usual.

"Okay, oh evil and spiteful one, who hates me _and_ wakes me up at ungodly hours, what exactly should I be wearing for this crack of dawn excursion?"

James covered his mouth to prevent himself from laughing out loud and answered her question. "Wear something loose, and trainers, if you've got them."

She nodded. They stood there, facing each other for a long while, before Lily eventually said, "Could you leave, please, I'm your _fake_ girlfriend so you don't get to see the goodies – and even if it _was_ the real deal I still wouldn't let you see after only a day," she added as an afterthought.

"Oh, right," he laughed, scratching the back of his head uncomfortably. "I'm used to doing this with Sirius. If I leave him alone for even a minute he goes straight back to bed. Sorry… sorry I'll just wait outside."

Lily raised an eyebrow at his suddenly flustered demeanour, but smiled and said, "Don't worry, I'll be downstairs in ten minutes," before making shooing motions to encourage him on his way out of the room.

Just as he reached the door, James collected himself and turned, smiling charmingly at her. "Oh, and by the way, Evans?"

"Yeah?" she asked through a yawn, her mouth quirking at his use of her surname, finding that she kind of liked it now that he said it with endearment, not anger.

"Nice Pyjamas!" he said quickly, before shutting the door behind him as fast as he could.

Lily looked down at her tiny shorts and string vest with gnomes all over them. She let out a mildly outraged noise and chucked the nearest thing to her, her pillow, towards the door, but grinned foolishly all the same.

--

Lily arrived down into the common room exactly ten minutes later, as promised. She crumpled down next to James on the sofa he'd be waiting on, where he was reading the previous day's news paper.

"I really hate you right now," she grumbled, as she released yet another yawn.

"Yeah, that's nothing new though, is it? And anyway, I'm not training you to be my friend, am I?" he asked, handing her a steaming cup of coffee and a chocolate muffin. She took both gratefully.

"No," she admitted grudgingly. "Although, I would like to be able to salvage a friendship despite your abnormal working hours."

"Good to know, Lily, I hope so too," he said, standing and extending a hand to help her up. "Come on, we better get going."

--

He led her down towards the Quidditch pitch where she noticed some items lined up underneath one of the stands.

"How long have you been up?" she asked in amazement, sure that he'd been the one to place the items there, seeing as they seemed to be heading toward that exact spot.

He grinned at her, looking at her out of the corner of his eye. "Not much longer than you. I just leave the stuff down here; no one ever messes with it."

"Oh… okay," she said. "I'm relieved; I was starting to worry for your sanity!"

"Good to know you care, _Lils_," he chuckled, and she smiled in return.

When James and Lily got closer, and she got a better look at the items he'd left out, she was shocked by what she saw. "We're doing Muggle exercises?" she asked, startled and confused.

"Of course. What did you think we were going to do?"

"I dunno," she answered stupidly. "Research, maybe practice hexes. Thought you might teach me the rules of the sport or something, but definitely not Muggle exercise."

He laughed at her confused expression before explaining, "We'll do all that stuff you mentioned, but I find exercise helps me clear my mind before I start the day and it relaxes me. But, more importantly, your body needs to be in just as good a form as your mind and your wand when you're a dueller. Helps with Quidditch too, that's what I have the weights for—they're not for you," he added, as he caught her eyeing them with trepidation, laughing.

She turned her full attention back towards him so he continued. "Look at Aurors, they have to go through extensive physical training as well as magical. You need a good muscle tone and strength if you're going to be an even halfway decent dueller. That's a mistake wizards often make, they rely too much on their magic and disregard Muggle techniques, thinking it's beneath them or too primitive or some other rubbish, but it's not – it's not just the hexes you know, but how you use them."

He followed this mini speech by throwing a blasting curse at a boulder near the edge of the forest and she watched as it cracked it down the middle, impressed by his aim and the power he had to have in order to have been able to send a spell that far.

"If you use your body's movement, you can put more power behind the spell," he said, throwing the same spell again, only this time spinning his body a little. Just like before his aim was perfect, only this time, the blasting curse completely demolished the large boulder. "It's no substitute for raw power, but it's amazing the difference it can make!"

"Wow," Lily replied. "How come no-one's ever shown us that in Defence? Seems like it would be a useful thing to know," she finished sarcastically.

James shrugged. "We've had so many teachers and none of them know what their predecessors have or haven't taught. Not to mention, plenty of them don't _believe_ in Muggle means to increase the magical – as I said, some people are too biased to see what's right in front of them."

"A fit and healthy body will give you more range, flexibility, and movement, not to mention that _sometimes_ the only good thing to do is just dive out of the way," he grinned, right before tackling her to the ground.

Lily let out a surprised squeal as they both fell. James rolled at the last minute so as not to squash her, and then he rested his head on his hand as he leaned over her and laughed, saying, "and the best part is, hardly anyone ever expects it."

Lily growled and knocked his arm out from under his head, causing him to hit the ground with a muffled thump. He looked at Lily, a little shocked, and she just smiled back sweetly before saying, "and the best part is, hardly anyone ever expects it."

He chuckled before lunging for her again, but he wasn't fast enough. She was up and away from him before he'd even had a chance to recover.

He chased after her for a few hundred yards before he caught her, and when he did she couldn't help but let out an exhilarated laugh.

"See, exercise isn't always boring and hard," said James.

"Okay," she conceded. "You've convinced me, so what now?"

"Now? We jog," he said, starting to move away from her.

Lily grunted, but quickly fell in step with him.

"How long do you normally run?" she asked, once they'd made their first lap of the Quidditch pitch.

"Well, normally, I try to do about ten laps in thirty minutes."

Lily stared at him dumbly, and he patted her shoulder. "Don't worry. I know that's a little too much for your first day, so we'll take it slow and see how fit you are. We'll start really pushing your limits another day. Today is just about assessing you."

"Okay," Lily sighed, but quickened her pace just a little to show him he didn't need to go _too_ easy on her.

He smiled knowingly and matched her stride for stride.

"How do you know all this stuff, anyway?" she asked breathlessly, as they made their third lap.

"Well, my father is head of the Auror department, and before him there's a long line of Potters either in the Department of Mysteries or the Aurors, so I guess it runs in the family. Anyway, he's been teaching me to protect myself since I was old enough to hold a wand, and even before that, he had me participating in various defensive sports. I guess I've been conditioned to defend and protect," he chuckled wryly.

"Wow, that doesn't sound like much fun for a kid, but no wonder you're captain."

"Don't worry," he replied, noticing her frown. "Luckily I enjoyed every second of it, especially the part where my dad spent time with me. He always made sure to make time, and still does actually, whenever I have questions about the team or defensive tactics."

Lily gave him a dubious look but continued to jog without comment, it was his life, and if he said he was happy, who was she to argue?

--

Later, after ten laps in forty-five minutes, Lily found herself on her back attempting to do yet another set of sit-ups.

At first, she'd thought James was going too easy on her, but now she had to acknowledge he was doing no such thing, and that she should have trusted him earlier to set the pace. It seemed he knew more than she did about her body's limits, and swore next time she came out with him she wouldn't be quite so aggressive – at least not until she felt a little more confident in her fitness level.

Her legs ached from the jog and the leg squats he'd insisted on, her arms ached from the push ups he'd already made her do, and now her stomach ached something fierce from the sit-ups.

She flopped back on the grass, unable to take anymore, and turned her head lazily to the side where she saw James still forcing his body to move into crunch after crunch.

She couldn't help but be impressed by his stamina and fitness. She allowed her eyes to run over his body, lingering on his taut stomach and muscled arms, and as she continued to watch she felt her mouth go dry.

Lily didn't think she'd ever seen anyone better looking than he was to her, right at that moment, and the feeling astonished her, especially when she found she had an overwhelming urge to lean over and touch him.

She wasn't stupid and she had eyes- James Potter was sexy. She had never denied to herself that she was mildly attracted to him, but she was stunned to find that even after only a few days, her attraction was already reaching a whole new level. She shook the thoughts violently from her brain and forced herself to resume her exercises, briefly flicking her eyes towards the weights set up under the stands. She took a moment to be thankful he wasn't going to make her lift them, hoping to Merlin that she wouldn't look like an actual boy when training was over.

---

"Now what?" she asked as she lay, panting, on the ground after a final cool down lap around the pitch.

He sat cross-legged next to her, not nearly as red or tired as her, but impressed with her nonetheless.

"I admire your work ethic," he smiled.

"_Ergh_," she grunted, resting a hand on her stomach and closing her eyes.

He checked his watch. "We've had over an hour's workout so that's good. Normally, I'd go in and have a shower and go to breakfast now, and actually practice duelling tonight at the club meeting, but seeing as you're not part of the team _yet,_ that's not an option… and I do need to see what you're made of…"

He looked over her breathless frame once again before reconsidering his plan. "You know what? Nevermind, I think you've had enough for this morning."

She glared at him from her position in the grass, but didn't argue.

"We'll work on it tonight, instead. You know, when we're supposed to be off…"

"Groping each other?" she suggested helpfully.

"Yeah, that." He coughed uncomfortably before changing the subject, allowing her more time to recover before they made a move. "How'd it go with your friends last night?"

When she looked at him, shocked, he shrugged. "I saw Catreena coming down the stairs looking way too pleased with herself and overheard her saying your name, so I figured she'd been stirring the pot in your dorm."

"Yeah she was, but its okay, my friends and I worked it out."

"Of course you did," James said with a smile.

"What about you? Did your friends say anything about our sudden interest in each other?" she asked interestedly.

"My _sudden_ interest?" he repeated slowly, before answering, "No, they didn't say anything."

His dodgy answer caught Lily's attention, but as she tried to make eye contact with him, she realised that whatever it was, he didn't want to talk about it, so she sighed and let it go.

Not that she had much choice, because he'd stood up and started to walk towards the castle, calling out to her to 'hurry up' over his shoulder, before she'd even had a chance to confront him.

---

A/N

I'm working now so I won't be able to update as often as you've all become used to… but please I beg you; help entertain me during the day and send me reviews!

Hope you enjoyed

ps. Many, many thanks to abok1972


	8. Confirmation and Sparring

After both of them had showered and changed, Lily met James in the common room.

"Are you ready for this?" he asked her, sounding worried.

"As I'll ever be," she said, biting her nail.

James reached up, took her by the elbow, and gently took her hand out of her mouth. "It's okay; it's just like last night."

"Yeah, with three times as many people watching," she scoffed.

"You're just doing what you normally do," he reassured her, squeezing her arm gently. "You're going to the Great Hall and eating breakfast, except this time you're doing it with me."

When she still looked worried, he continued, "We'll just take it one step at a time and it will be over before you know it. I don't think we even need to be all that affectionate, we just need to sit together," he reassured her, looking in her eyes trying to gauge if she was all right.

Lily nodded, but couldn't bring herself to say anything.

"Come on, let's make a move," he coaxed, placing his hand on the small of her back and gently guiding her towards the portrait hole. "Unless you'd _like_ to be late, and then have to walk into breakfast when everyone is already there and can turn and stare at us," he continued innocently, when she didn't seem to want to move.

Lily's eyes widened and she shook her head vigorously, before roughly grabbing his sleeve and pulling him out of the common room. He patted her head jokingly for obeying him, and she smacked it away as they walked the rest of the way towards the Great Hall in silence.

Just before the entrance however, she stopped him, grabbing a handful of his robes.

He quickly turned to look at her, worried that she'd lost her nerve.

Seeing her face pale considerably, he grabbed her hand reassuringly. Shocked at the sudden contact, Lily instinctively pulled her hand away.

James frowned at her before purposefully grabbing her hand again and holding it firmly. "Lily, if you can't even hold my hand, how are we ever going to be able to pull this off?"

Lily smiled sheepishly. "Sorry, I'm still getting used to this… being affectionate with you thing," she mumbled, before wriggling her finger so his grasp loosened, then, with the extra space, she twisted her hand so their fingers interlocked.

He looked down at their hands quickly, a little surprised, before looking up and beaming at her.

She took in a sharp breath of air before smiling back at him shakily. Then tossing her hair over her shoulder, she straightened her posture and pulled him over the threshold and into the Hall.

James was so surprised by the way she'd taken his hand that he didn't realise he was in the middle of the Great Hall until he felt her grip tighten significantly. He was proud of her though, because other than that, she didn't filch or shy away when at least a hundred pairs of eyes swung towards them. She ignored every curious stare and walked elegantly down to James's normal seat as he followed dutifully.

She released his hand as they sat down together and began to eat her breakfast in silence, as they both waited for the rest of the room to stop talking about them.

Eventually, the hall began to fill and they regained some anonymity. As soon as Lily deemed it safe for them to talk, she turned to him and asked, "How's _that_ for telling the world we're dating?"

James threw back his head and laughed. Just as he did so, the rest of the Marauders sat around them, not even giving Lily more than a passing glance and a morning greeting.

"Are they always this talkative?" Lily asked. "I expected them to be much more exuberant."

"Oh, normally they are, but it's still early morning. None of them really wake up until after breakfast," he confided conspiratorially, throwing a joking glace at his friends.

"They don't seem very shocked to see me," she whispered, watching the three boys in front of her wearily.

"That's because we're not shocked. James told us he had asked you out," Sirius answered plainly. "And I would like to add that, we _can_ hear you two, so we'd appreciate not being talked about like we can't," he finished grumpily.

"Sorry," Lily laughed, just as James reached across and hit Sirius around the head for being rude.

"Be nice, if you scare her away now, I'll kill you."

---

As planned, James and Lily met that evening back in the tower rooms.

James had come straight from practice and had begged off starting to train straight away, explaining that even he needed time to recover now and again.

Lily smirked at him, taking great pleasure in the reversal of roles.

"Don't look so smug, _Evans_," he said teasingly, his use of her surname making her stomach flutter, "eventually you're going to be at practices too, and look at it this way, if _I'm_ this puffed out, imagine what you'll be like if you don't work hard over the next few weeks!"

Lily pouted at the reminder of their morning work out and her unfitness when compared to his own, and swore to herself she would work even harder whenever they exercised from now on.

"Why here, James?" she asked, instead of allowing him to make another comment about her fitness. "Why do you always ask me to meet you in the tower rooms?"

"Because no one will hear us if the silencing spells wear off," he answered absently, as he searched through his bag for his water bottle. "_And_ because no one uses this tower, they all go to the astronomy one, so that's where the teachers check. We won't get caught in here."

"Oh," Lily mumbled, wondering how he could possibly know that.

James broke her out of her thoughts, saying, "Okay, up you get, we're going to try a little sparring. Nothing too much, that work out earlier probably has you aching a little anyway, and I want you to be able to move tomorrow," he joked.

"Yeah, and that decision has nothing to do with _your_ sore limbs, I'm sure," she said sweetly.

He smiled but said nothing.

Lily rolled her eyes at him before asking, "Sparring, not an actual duel?"

"Yeah, just sparring for now. No offence, but I don't think it would be fair, and it wouldn't really be a good way to judge you because of the discrepancies in our individual training. With sparring I'll be able to asses your level of knowledge, and I'll use it to create some sort of plan for when and how we practice in the future. This isn't a test of your actual duelling skill, Lily," he warned. "Although this should be a good indicator, this is more about seeing what level you're at knowledge and speed-wise."

"Fine," she moaned, but dutifully got up and positioned herself a few feet away from him.

"But I'm warning you now, when we do start to duel properly, we can't muck about and I can't go easy on you. I _won't_. It won't get you anywhere; you need to learn to take everything and anything, and you need to do it the hard way because none of your competition is going to take it easy on you. Once you're in the real world no one is going to be lenient – the competition doesn't give their prey a chance to recover before sending the next spell, and neither do Death Eaters."

"I understand," replied Lily. "If you were to go easy on me, it would show a lack of respect for me and my abilities, anyway."

He nodded, satisfied with her response, before saying, "Normally, the way to start training is just to use one spell and fire it back and forth – one of us on the attack and one of us on the defence. We alternate, trying to throw the spell and shield as quickly as possible. It's a good way to warm up; it promotes speed and it also helps to makes casting the spells become like second nature," he explained, throwing a weak tickling hex at her which she blocked easily.

Lily nodded to show she understood, briefly admiring him and the authority he exuded when he was in his captain mode, before returning her own weak tickling hex towards him that he blocked with out any effort at all.

"We'll progress up through the basic spells," he continued, even as he upgraded to throwing a Stunner at her. "Eventually, we'll start working with the more advanced hexes, and then when you're reacting at a speed I think is good enough, we'll start using more than one spell at a time. It'll be more and more complicated as we progress, and before you know it, you'll be fast and have an extremely large arsenal of spells and shields at your disposal."

"Wow."

"Yeah, you probably won't even notice it's happening," he said reminiscently, nodding his head indicating that they had been trading spells without her really realising it for their whole conversation.

"That's so cool!" she exclaimed.

"Yeah it is, and you're doing well so far. You're already at a level where you can subconsciously cast and defend against the smaller spells, which, trust me, is more than some people. Some just can't work fast on their feet. But _don't_ get overconfident, neither of us is really trying and we're not throwing anything above a basic level of difficulty. It _is_ going to get harder and you _are_ going to have to work, no matter how talented you are."

"I know," she confirmed seriously before a wicked smile spread across her face. "I'm so going to be able to kick Catreena's arse!"

He laughed before becoming serious. "As tempting as I _know_ that is, you can't. Once you're trained up there are a strict set of rules you have to follow, and attacking a student who doesn't have the same level of ability as you is a big no-no. It's a major responsibility you agree to take on when you decide to become an official dueller – the better you are, the more careful you have to be."

Lily stopped smiling at his seriousness. "I had no idea."

"It's not something that we spread around," he said slyly, before trailing off suggestively, "Now _defending_ against an attack is a whole different matter…"

"Got it," was her simple reply and he winked at her before she quipped dryly, "Is _that_ how you used to justify attacking Snape all the time, you called it _defending_ against attack?"

He smiled a little grimly. "I think you'll find that I often _was_ defending myself. But it would be pointless to try and deny that sometimes I did start it, but back then—"

"You mean the beginning of fifth year?"

"Yeah – I technically wasn't on the team back then, so I was still a…_layman._"

"So that's why you suddenly laid off of him, because you made the team?"

"Partly – I'm not proud of it… but yeah, there was the team _and_…I decided it was time to grow up a little bit. But also… let's not forget, that's he's on the Slytherin team now and has had all the same training as me."

Lily nodded to indicate she'd accepted that information.

"Okay, so back to training. If it's all right with you, I'd like to try and get you doing as many of the spells non-verbally as possible, and perhaps, depending on your aptitude, try some wandless magic. But the wandless is just for you and is _not_ to be used in the under-eighteen competitions," he stressed. "Nevertheless, it's a valuable defensive tool that can be used should the situation arise," he said gravely, making a blatant allusion to the uprising threat of Voldemort.

"Umm sure," Lily said, too overwhelmed to say anything else, but fascinated with the idea of wandless magic and wildly impressed that _James_ might be able to teach her how to master it.

He watched her try to hide her excitement and smiled at her eagerness. "I really think you're going to be good at this, Lily. Having the right attitude is nine-tenths of the work."

She blushed and smiled radiantly.

James shook himself out of the stupor he'd fallen into when she'd smiled at him like that, and said, "Okay, I think that's enough for now. From now on, three days a week, Monday, Wednesdays and Fridays, you meet me in the mornings for Muggle exercise, and in the evenings to go over spells and strategy. And then once you're on the team, practices are Mondays and Wednesdays, okay?"

"I think so," Lily answered""Okay," Lily answered uncertainly, overwhelmed by the amount of work involved, and wondering how the hell she was going to keep up with her assignments and even more curious as to how James managed with the same amount of work, plus Quidditch.

"You're shocked," he noted shrewdly.

"Yeah," she admitted. "I had no idea how much effort you had to put in."

"A lot of people _don't_ put in that kind of effort, but that's why I'm one of the best and they're not, and that's why you're going to be one of the best too. Don't worry, you'll get used to it and I'll bet you'll even start to love it after a while," he assured, giving her a calculating look.

**---**

AN

I was so overwhelmed by all the reviews - they really do mean a lot - so thank you!


	9. Mysteries

A few weeks later James was sitting alone at the end of breakfast, waiting for Lily to return from a quick dash back to her dorm for a forgotten text book.

He was playing with his soggy cereal and chatting to his friends, when he heard Lily's joyous voice calling out his name.

He looked up quickly to see her bouncing down the aisle towards where he was sitting, excitedly dropping down into the seat next to him, and in the process, drawing many shocked and confused looks from the people still left surrounding him.

"What?" James asked, finding himself easily disregarding all the avid stares of his classmates and friends and automatically smiling back at her, her obvious giddiness rubbing off on him instantly.

"You'll never guess!" she giggled happily, her eyes shining at him.

"What?" he asked again, even more eager the more animated she became.

"It came!" she said, reaching out and shaking his arm excitedly. "I have to admit I was starting to think it never would, but it came!

"What came?" he asked, still smiling while his whole torso shook with her overzealous shaking.

"_It_ came, my dad's reply, and he signed it, James, he bloody well signed it! I can't believe it worked!" She slammed down the permission slip and accompanying letter right in front of him, right there in the Great Hall, so he could see it for himself.

He quickly snatched them up before anyone else could see what they were, sending her a slightly reproachful look for carelessness. She shrugged sheepishly and he shook his head at her fondly before allowing his eyes to scan the words of the letter quickly, his eyes briefly flashing to the signature on the magically charmed piece of paper.

When he turned his gigantic smile on her, the light of the joy from a prank well done shining off of him, Lily couldn't help but lean forward and hug him tightly. "I can't believe it worked!"

James was surprised by her action, and both of them blushed lightly at the normally unused method of affection, but it only made his grin wider. He was starting to look like his face would crack in two, and Lily's was almost identical, their shared glee bouncing between them and increasing the mutual sentiment of satisfaction.

"That's great, Lily!" he whispered, pulling her back into the hug so as to disguise their actual conversation. "Meet me later and we'll remove the charm."

"Okay," she breathed, before pulling away and picking up her letters.

"Where are you going?" he asked, confused and a little disappointed. "I didn't mean that you had to _leave_."

"Oh, I still haven't been back to the dorm," she told him breathlessly. "The owl caught me before I got there." And then, with one last fleeting look at him over her shoulder, she left the Great Hall.

The moment she was out of his sight James slouched down in his seat, rested his head on his fist, and released a long sigh, tingles racing under his skin and all over his body.

He was broken out of his trance, however, by Sirius's deep chuckle.

"What?" he asked defensively when he saw his friend's smirk.

"Nothing, Prongs, just that it's only been a couple of weeks and you're already a besotted fool."

"Shut up," James snapped.

"Hey, it's all good," Sirius tried to placate him, shocked by his unreasonable response. "There's no need to be shy about it around us, we know you've always had a thing for her …"

James shifted uncomfortably after his friend said that, wondering if Sirius was right and he really had become a besotted fool again. It had taken him a long time to let go of his feelings for Lily in fifth year, and it had been hard enough the first time around. He wasn't sure if he'd be able to do it again, especially seeing as he'd had a taste of what it was like to actually be with her now.

Eventually, he managed to force himself to reply, "So, what are you trying to say?"

"Nothing, it's just that I'm sorry I doubted your relationship and that… we're really happy for you," said Sirius, before returning to his breakfast without another word.

James smiled tightly, but internally started to worry about the mess that he might have gotten himself into.

What would happen if he started to like her again? What if he already did? After all, he'd have to be in a coma not to notice how beautiful she was, especially seeing as their practices allowed him tantalising glimpses of her body. Plus, now that she'd let go of all her hostility towards him, they got along with each other fantastically. They talked about everything as they trained and he trusted her implicitly.

He thought perhaps he'd even noticed her looking at _him_ occasionally.

James shook himself trying to ignore the sudden anxious feeling he had in his gut.

Things were different now, they were friends... best friends, he acknowledged to himself…but that was it.

He could handle this.

_Couldn't he?_

--

Lily had been advancing in leaps and bounds, both with her physical training and her magical.

She was now only a few minutes behind James on the morning jog, and she was completing her crunches, push ups, and other various exercises without having to stop at all any more. Although she was still always totally puffed out by the time it was over, they could both agree that she had come a long way since training began.

She had progressed through the basic spells and hexes at a speed that had left James speechless. He had already known she had wickedly fast reflexes, having seen her pull her wand many times before they'd started to train, but her vast knowledge and excellent instincts left him astounded.

The problem was, that despite all those positives, James could still sense something was preventing her reaching her full potential. He was starting to go insane trying to figure out what it was, trying to solve it.

He didn't think it was for lack of want, or dedication; she was certainly talented. She was turning out to be an exceptional duellist. She couldn't beat him yet, but she definitely gave him a work out and that was more than most could claim.

The problem was, that occasionally she would suffer from bouts of tiredness and extreme weakness, especially after she'd been pushing herself or after a particularly stressful day.

In the beginning he'd just thought it was because she wasn't used to exercising so much, but now he wasn't so sure and he was starting to worry.

What the hell wasn't she telling him?

--

Lily's back hit the stone floor and her lungs felt like they were on fire.

"Lily!" James cried, running over to her. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," she wheezed stubbornly. "I'm just a little winded."

"Are you sure, Lily?" James sighed, frustrated with her now that he knew she was alright. "Because this only ever happens toward the end of practice. It's almost like bloody clockwork!" he said, eyeing her shrewdly.

"I'm fine!" she repeated sharply, throwing him a dirty look, though the fact that she was lying flat on her back on the ground ruined the desired effect.

"Fine," James snapped at her, standing stiffly and returning to his spot across their makeshift duelling ring.

"Get up then, and let's do it again!" he commanded mercilessly.

Lily lay staring at the dusty ceiling for another second, before valiantly pushing herself to her knees and getting to her feet.

James watched her stiff, pained movements and her slight sway angrily, desperately trying to maintain a stony look on his face and not wanting to give away just how troubled he really was.

Once she was standing in the appropriate place, he gave her the barest hint of warning before ruthlessly throwing another spell at her, putting his full power and skill behind it. This time when she hit the ground, even Lily had to admit she wouldn't be continuing to practice that day.

He walked over and stood towering above her. "Yeah, I can see you're absolutely fucking fine. After all, I just sent a _tickling_ hex at you, a strong one yes, but still, just a tickling hex, and it knocked you off your bloody feet – that's really a normal reaction!" he drawled sarcastically, right before barking, "Practice is over!"

"Fine," whispered Lily, getting up unsteadily and collecting her things with shaking hands.

She turned to walk away, but was stopped when she felt James warm palm on her shoulder. She jerked at the sharp stinging the contact sent through her body, but managed to cover the look of pain that flashed across her expression before she turned to face him.

He missed the change of expression, but not the look in her eyes, and seeing it, he took both her trembling hands in his, the reassurance of his firm grasp making her feel more steady.

James had learned to recognise when Lily closed herself off and so, instead of questioning her, he passed her a bottle of water which she took gratefully, greedily gulping it and coughing when some went down the wrong way

"Take sips, love," James encouraged sweetly, and trying to make up for shouting at her and hurting her, he started running his hands up and down her arms, shocked to find her skin cold and clammy despite the exercise they'd just done.

She nodded, closing her eyes and taking sips. The moment she couldn't see him he frowned worriedly, changing his mind about not saying anything more to her. Instead of commenting directly however, he softly said, "We can't afford for me to keep being lenient, Lily."

"I know, James – I don't want you to be."

"It's not a matter of _want_, Lily," he sighed, pulling her forward so she was leaning against him. "You're a great duller - fantastic even, when we _start_ practicing, but you deteriorate really quickly once you reach a certain point, and after you reach that point, I have to go easy on you…."

He felt her troubled breathing fan across his neck, and instinctively wrapped his arms around her.

"Is there something you need to tell me?" he finally rushed out on a single breath, tightening his hold when he felt her start to pull away. "Are you alright? Do you have Muggle asthma or something that you just didn't want to tell me about?" he asked. "Because that can be healed in less than an hour," he stressed.

"No, it's nothing like that," she said, still breathing heavily, and, to James's delight, still leaning heavily against him. "I guess I just haven't got the stamina yet," she said quietly, before pulling out of his grasp with a quiet, "Thanks, James, I'll see you later."

After that, James was left with nothing else to do but watch her go, and hope that she was being reasonable with herself about what was and wasn't good for her.

--

AN

I didn't get as many reviews for the last chap as I'm used to… you've spoilt me… I hope it doesn't mean you're all losing interest.

I know this is a little shorter than usual but there's a bit of a mystery some angst and some affection, I think that covers all the bases quite nicely

REVIEW.... please ;D


	10. Aches and Pains

Another week later James entered the common room and his eyes scanned the area looking for the familiar red hair of his faux girlfriend.

Not locating her, he made a move towards his favourite chair to wait, so that they could go to breakfast together as usual.

Halfway across the room though he heard a pitiful groaning noise coming from a, seemingly, empty sofa facing the far wall, and out of the eye line of anyone descending the dorm stairs.

James frowned worriedly and quickly made his way over, expecting to find some poor second year sick to his stomach or something of that nature, what he actually found made him double over from laughter.

Lily was spread eagled, face first on the sofa groaning every time her body made any kind of movement

"Don't laugh, you git," she said, sending him a withering look. "You did this to me!"

"Hey now," he chocked out, trying to look hurt and indignant at the accusation, but failing miserably.

"Well you did! Is it or is it not you who exercises me to the point of exhaustion and then proceeds to knock me on my arse over and over again?"

Deciding that now was not the time to start talking about his growing worries over her health, and occasional bouts of weakness he chuckled "Over and over again? Don't be so hard on yourself, you're improving quickly, you even almost won a bout the other day."

"_Almost_" she stressed "and that was only one out of the ten you made me do that afternoon," she moaned, trying to raise a hand to hit him, but found she didn't have the energy. "Look at me, I move like an old woman!" she cried instead.

"It's for your own good," he wheezed out, still laughing at her. "It'll get better."

The only response she could be bothered to give was a grunt which turned in to a tired moan.

"Oh dear," he said, regaining control of himself and taking pity on her. He dropped his bag on a nearby chair before perching on the edge of the sofa and placing his hands on the back of her shoulders and started to massage them gently.

"Ergh," Lily made an incoherent noise in approval.

"You're really hurting, aren't you?" he sighed frowning.

She nodded. "The only part of me that feels like it doesn't hurt is my hair! Between the muggle exercise in the mornings and the duelling and sparing in the evenings, with lessons and homework thrown in in-between, everything hurts, even things I didn't know I had!"

He tutted sympathetically. "I know, I remember when I first started to train _seriously_ I thought I'd never be able to move properly again, it gets easier though, and at least today is an off day," he finished cheerfully.

"Yeah, small mercies," she mumbled, relaxing under his talented hands.

He chuckled again and she turned her head to glare at him. "Oh come on, Lily, give me a break! This is funny, you should see yourself!"

When she just continued to glare he rolled his eyes and said "Look, why don't you go back upstairs and have a good long soak in the bath or something instead of coming to breakfast, it should loosen your muscles, and I'll make sure to bring something from breakfast for you to eat in class."

"But what about breakfast?" she asked hesitantly. "_We_ don't just go to _eat_, it's all part of the show" she whispered the last word. "People will talk if I'm not there with you, it will be the first time in weeks."

James frowned at her. "Yeah, but there's still lunch and dinner, and it's not like you can't still live your own life, even if we were legitimate we still wouldn't be adjoined at the hip!"

She let out a quiet snort at the image.

He grinned at the unladylike noise before saying "I don't want you to be in pain and a bath is going to help the soreness, you can't spend the rest of the day like this, _and_ let's not forget, you need to be recovered so you can do it all over again tomorrow," he added, giving her an unhelpful reminder of her exercise routine.

"Lily," he quietly said after a few moments. "This isn't supposed to be a punishment."

"Sure seems like it at practice sometimes," she said, but when he looked at her sharply he noticed she was smiling.

"Shut up," he grinned pressing down a little harder on a taught muscle and earning himself another groan from Lily.

"I'm carrying _all_ of your books today too," he said after a minute of silence.

"No, you are not," she said, her voice muffled because she'd pressed her face into the cushions to allow him more access to her neck

"I am, Lily," he said in a voice that brooked no argument before hopping up and grabbing her bag and his own before she'd even managed to turn over. "Now back upstairs to the bath," he commanded as he shouldered both their bags. "I'll see you in defence."

Lily had forgotten that that was their first class, and with that sudden reminder she decided it was probably best to swallow her pride and listen to him, she wasn't sure she'd make it through the day otherwise.

--

After watching James stroll through the portrait hole, Lily didn't waste any time following his instructions. She got up as fast as her sore limbs would allow and walked up the stairs to her dorm as quickly as her leg would take her.

When she entered, only Emily was left in the room, she was just about to exit when Lily hobbled through the door

"Goodness Lily" she chuckled, shouldering her bag before continuing on in a suggestive voice "What _is_ James doing to you, when he whisks you away in the evenings?"

Lily threw her friend and look, and taking the hint, Emily, still smiling, patted Lily's shoulder and left for breakfast

Lily waited until the room was empty before dropping her clothes where she stood and making her way to the bathroom. She had the tub filled with scorching hot water within minutes, making sure to add some relaxing salts.

She groaned pitifully as she lowered her aching body into the water and then sighed with absolute relief when she was finally fully submerged.

Her relief was exquisite.

Lily's muscles quickly started to relax and loosen and she could help but think James was officially her favourite person in the world for suggesting such a magnificent idea.

With that thought came a flash of guilt. She's been purposefully hiding how difficult she was finding his training schedule. For two reasons, firstly she knew he would be horrified to know how much he was really hurting her and then he would start going easy on her, whether consciously or not, and she couldn't afford to have such a set back. And secondly she didn't want him to think any less of her, her second reason was… pride.

When she absently looked down she noticed a huge bruise covering her hip, she prodded it gingerly before letting out yet another sigh. She _had_ thought about telling him, telling him about the battering her body was really taking, but had quickly disregarded the idea, mainly because she couldn't stand the idea of James coddling her and if she were honest she wasn't entirely sure _what _she would even tell him, or _how. _

She really just hoped that she would start improving and then she wouldn't have to tell him anything.

She would get better she reassured herself, her stamina would increase and so would her skill. Once they did the painful consequences would hopefully lessen

---

Lily felt much more relaxed and loose when she finally left through the portrait hole after her lovely warm bath; James always seemed to be right she thought smiling grudgingly to herself.

The portrait swung open and she stepped down watching her feet to make sure she didn't fall and secretly thankful that James had her bag. When a hand extended into her field of vision and she smiled widely recognizing it

"What's got you smiling so big, feeling better?" whispered James's familiar voice.

"Much better, thanks," she said taking his hand and looking up into his eyes. "It's really not fair that you're always right, you know?"

He laughed, wrapping his arm comfortably around her and leading her towards class passing her a napkin with toast wrapped in it as they moved

"You are a life saver," she sighed munching on the much needed food. "But what are you doing here, I thought _I_ was supposed to meet _you_?"

"I'm supposed to walk you to class," he said sending her a sidelong glance.

"Oh yeah, I supposed it _is_ part of the deal," she said slyly returning his look.

"Yeah, the deal," he replied, tightening his hold just a little as they entered the busy hallway and headed towards where their first class was.

"James?" Lily asked curiously as they took a deserted short cut.

"Yeah?" he answered absentmindedly as he navigated the stairs.

"Why do you need me to do this for you? You're so attentive, you're so _good_ at being a boyfriend, pretend or not. Surely you could get any girl you want and with the various perks you offer," she said, wrapping an arm around his waist making him adjust his hold on her shoulders. "I'm almost positive every single one of them would be more than willing to suffer your parents to have a shot at you."

He chuckled. "I've never been all that good with showing girls the attention they deserved or wanted."

"I'm sure that's not true, you're wonderful with me, even when you're throwing hexes at me!"

He smiled, ducking his head slightly to hide how pleased he was. "I'm not quite sure what it is about you, but you bring out the best in me. Not everyone is like you, Lily, I think you'd be surprised at how quickly some girls lose interest when they realise it's not going to be as easy as they anticipated, that it actually takes work to be with me," he added quietly.

"Really?" she sighed, sending him a sympathetic look.

"Yeah, really, it shows how much they liked me in the first place, eh?" he said, suddenly sullen. "You wouldn't believe how hard it is to find girls who are actually genuine and tough enough to put up with my crazy family, the press _and_ the other women who think they deserve a shot at me. At least with you, I know you don't care about _who_ I am, and I know you're tough, especially if training is any kind of indicator" he said smiling proudly. "_And_ you don't really care what people think of you."

Noticing her trying to contain an incredibly happy smile James couldn't help but add

"Even though we're not really dating, I think it's just as important to have those qualities in a friend as it is to have in a girlfriend."

"I'm… sorry," she settled on for an answer.

"Why?" he asked, smiling. "I've told you before it's not all bad – and I'll meet someone eventually, I'm just not in the same kind of rush as my family."

"I suppose not," she said just as they reached their class.

"Yeah, and in the mean time I have you," he whispered in her ear before they each went to their separate seats sending a glance at each other, inciting more furious whispering that went entirely unnoticed by the couple.

--

I got soooo many reviews, I think it's the most I've ever gotten for a chapter – I feel very special – Thank you!

Now DO IT AGAIN…Pretty please with James and Sirius kisses on top

I'm sorry I haven't had the time to reply to your reviews but I will try to get to them later this week!


	11. Unpredictable

Lily turned up in the tower room at the regular time ready to duel, but when she opened the door she wasn't greeted with the usual sight of James ready and waiting in his practice uniform. Instead, she found him sitting at a table with at least ten books stacked up next to him, and a small journal-like book held in front of him.

Lily was so surprised by the unexpected scene that she could only stand and stare.

Eventually James coughed and nodded poignantly at the chair next to him, indicating she should sit down.

She did so hesitantly, unable to tear her eyes away from his face, wondering what he would do next.

When he placed a journal similar to the one he was holding in front of her, she was so confused that she could only gather enough of her senses together to stare at it.

James's amusement was increasing by the second, but he forced himself under control. "_This_," he said, passing her the journal that was in his hands, "is a book of every _useful_ spell I've come across this year."

"Useful?" she repeated stupidly.

"Yes, useful, for both protection and duelling."

"_This_ year?" she murmured weakly, staring at the very full and obviously very used book.

"Yeah, I've got loads of books just like this one, going back years –"

"Well, of course you do," she said almost to herself, shaking her head incredulously.

"You should see the ones from my first few years here, though," he continued, as if she hadn't spoken. "They're full of plans for our stupid pranks – you know, on second thought, perhaps it's best if you don't see those..." he trailed off thoughtfully, causing her to laugh, and he was pleased to see she was starting to regain her motor functions. "But from about fourth year onwards, I began to use them properly."

"Properly?" she asked, starting feeling stupid and self conscious for not having formed a proper sentence since entering the room, but not having a clue as to how to make her mouth and brain start working intelligently again.

"Mm, it's a habit I picked up from my dad," he explained. "I use them to jot down spells I think I can use, ones that I need more practice with, or sometimes, I just make a note to remind myself to look something up or try something out."

"This," he said, now indicating the blank journal he'd given her, "is your 'spell journal'… or at least it will be once you start writing in it."

"Start?"

"Yes, we've covered all the smaller, simpler spells that you already know, and so now it's time to step up our training and move on to learning new and more powerful spells," he said, choosing his words carefully.

"_More_ powerful?" she asked, suddenly too intrigued to remember to feel stupid by her inarticulateness.

"Yes, the slightly more obscure and powerful spells."

"Okay," she said, feeling excitement starting to bubble within her.

"So, I'm changing our routine. We'll still meet in the mornings to exercise, but from now on we'll use one of our designated training days to research spells, charms, and hexes. Whenever we find one that we deem worthy of learning, we'll spend our other two training days practicing it."

"Okay."

"You look a little shocked. Are you alright?" he asked, peering at her worriedly.

"I'm fine, it's just… just that…you're just so dedicated and you take it so seriously. Not that I thought you were flippant about it before, but this goes so far beyond anything I expected."

"I've told you before, that's why I'm one of the best… it's _because_ I put in so much time and effort. It's not just about winning a school competition, and it's not just about bragging rights. To be honest, whilst I'll admit its fun to win _and_ to have a legitimate reason to kick Snape's arse, it's not just about that either… really all that's stuff is just practice."

"Practice?" she said, confused. "Practice for what?

"Practice for real life, practice for after school. I know you, Lily, and I know you've been reading the newspapers. You know what's going on outside this castle, we're on the brink of a war. People are getting hurt everyday, people are getting taken right out of their houses – I'm not doing this just to help you prove something to your father. I'm doing it so you'll be able to protect yourself."

Lily was stunned, she _had_ known, but she was still surprised to see how much he'd thought about it, to see how much he really cared.

"Thanks, James," she said, touched.

He nodded. "You should take your journal everywhere with you, that way if you come across something during the day or in a class, you can write it down. Trust me when I say that before you know it your book will be full. I'm already on my second this year."

"Wow."

"I want you to take mine tonight and read it through. Anything you don't recognise or want to try, mark it up and we'll go over it at our next session."

"Okay," Lily said, as she flicked through the pages noticing that each one was covered in his tiny messy scrawl. "This is amazing, James," she said, turning towards him and finding herself mesmerised by his intense gaze.

"It's necessary."

"I agree, so what do we do?"

He chuckled. "It's boring, I'm afraid. We each take a book and start to read – anytime you come across anything interesting, write it down and we'll look at it together later.

"Let's start!" she said eagerly.

He grinned and passed her a book, trying to ignore the sudden tingling awareness he felt rushing through his body as her hand occasionally brushed his.

--

"Umm… Lily?"

Lily heard a hesitant voice call her name as she left her Wednesday Arithmancy class.

She turned towards the voice and smiled, finding James leaning casually against the opposite wall.

Her smile widened when she realised he'd been waiting for her, but it faded quickly when she saw the serious and slightly nervous look on his face. Without a second thought, she turned away from the friend she'd been talking to and crossed the corridor, coming to a stop right in front of James.

"What's the matter?" she asked, grabbing his hand without even really thinking about it.

He stared down at their intertwined fingers and used his grip to pull her closer. "I'm sorry," he sighed.

Lily was starting to get worried. "James," she said, a little more sharply than she'd intended. "Tell me what's the matter."

James sighed before releasing one word, "Hogsmeade."

"What about it?" demanded Lily, really confused now. For a moment she'd thought he was going to tell her their plan had failed for some reason.

"There's a Hogsmeade trip scheduled for this weekend. The notice was just posted."

"Oh," Lily said, her body flooding with relief, before noticing he still looked upset. "What's wrong with that?"

"Well…we have to go… _together_."

"_Have_ to?" she mimicked, her throat constricting tightly. "Don't… don't you want to go with me?" she asked, an inexplicable amount of hurt and pain filling her at the thought that he didn't want to spend that time with her.

_Was she really that awful?_

"_What_? Of course I do! I thought you were the one who wouldn't want to go with me—and …and I just didn't want to ruin your weekend. I know you, Jennifer, and Emily normally go together, but I also don't want to ruin all the hard work we've done convincing everyone we're dating…"

Lily let out a relieved breath and chose to ignore the reasons _why_ she felt so relieved. "So what? You normally go with Sirius, Remus and Peter," she pointed out. "Does that mean you don't want to go with me?" she asked, looking for further reassurance.

"_Of course_ I want to go with you, but I've always liked you Lily, whereas you have always had a severe dislike for me – and, correct me if I'm wrong, but I've asked you many times and none of those have ever ended well."

He hardly ever talked about what things had been like between them before they'd made their agreement, and she rarely saw this self-conscious side of him, but she found it oddly endearing. "Oh, James," she sighed. "Things were different back then, and I _am_ sorry for it, but everything has changed now…I…I _like_ spending time with you."

"Really?" he asked, a sly smile slowly spreading across his face. "Wait, wait, let me just take a moment to bask in the glory here!"

"The glory?" she laughed.

"Yeah… after six years, _The_ LilyEvans has just agreed to go to Hogsmeade with me. Should I start preparing for Armageddon?"

"No, you insufferable git," she said swatting him lightly on the stomach. "And what's all this rubbish about me being _The _Lily Evans now? I'm not just Lily anymore?"

"Right at this minute you're _The_ Lily Evans," he nodded seriously, before adding, "I feel like I should be doing a jig or something!"

"Please don't," she laughed.

Curiosity getting the better of him, he asked, "What if I did?"

"I would have to walk away and pretend I didn't know you," was the cheeky reply.

"Oh."

He looked so disappointed. Lily laughed, "Fine, I won't leave, but I'm going to go stand over there while you do it!"

She turned and started to cross the hall again when he frantically called, "Wait, wait!"

"What now?" she asked, smiling at his antics.

"I've got to do this right!" he told her, grinning like a lunatic.

He grabbed her gently by the shoulders and turned her, so that she was the one now leaning against the wall.

"James, wha—"

"Shush!" he commanded. "Just indulge me..._please._"

Lily nodded, eyes sparkling.

James took her hand and pulled it gently to his lips, laying a kiss on the tender spot on the inside of her wrist.

"Lily?" he said quietly, his eyes bright.

"Yeah?" she answered, smiling at him fondly.

"Would you do me the great honour of accompanying me to Hogsmeade this weekend?"

By now the whole hallway was watching the tableau unfold, but as usual, neither of the pair seemed to notice.

"Yes," she whispered. "I would love to go to Hogsmeade with you."

James beamed, but still looked nervous, and Lily, having expected a slightly more exuberant celebration, became worried again. "What now?"

He smiled reassuringly, but added hesitantly, "I know I'm probably pushing my luck, but would you also come to the Quidditch match the day before? I'm playing and I'd really like… it would mean a lot to me if you would…be there."

She laughed at his apprehension and nodded her acceptance. "If it will make you happy, I'll even wear a Gryffindor jersey with 'Potter' written across the back."

He whooped before picking her up and spinning her around. "I hope you know I'm going to hold you to that!"

Lily didn't answer, just smiled back at him. Then she heard someone wolf whistle and Sirius's obnoxious voice shouting out, "If you're quite finished, could you move along? You're holding up the flow of people."

The real world came crashing back in sharp and painful focus.

And Lily suddenly felt very stupid. Of course he had asked her. She was his pretend girlfriend; it was all part of the act. And inexplicably, she felt sadness well up inside of her. For the briefest moment, she couldn't help but wish that everything that had just happened had been real and not just for show.

Little did she know that James was wishing the exact same thing.

---

AN

Thank you all so much for the many reviews you sent – you are all fabulous.

I know I haven't been replying to the reviews like I normally do – I'm sorry but I just haven't had the time – If there is something in particular you want me to respond to just let me know and I will endeavour to reply!

But PLEASE don't stop reviewing

As for Lily feeling weak – there won't be an immediate resolution to the problem and you're all just going to have to wait and see what happens!

Thank you once again


	12. Closer

The morning of the Gryffindor versus Slytherin Quidditch match dawned bright and clear.

Lily's internal clock had woken her up at five just as it had done for months now, reminding her to get up for training. This morning however, James had to get up for the match so there was no exercise scheduled. She had gone back to sleep with a relieved groan, snuggling deep into her blankets.

When she had finally managed to drag herself out of bed, Lily descended the stairs into the common room only to be greeted by a mass of excited, energetic, extremely high spirited teenagers—all dressed brightly in their house colours.

The noise and energy in the room was overwhelming and it would probably only get worse, so Lily took a moment to prepare herself. If they won today, not only would there be the usual excitement of a win, but there was also the promise of a winners party that evening and a Hogsmeade trip the next day.

The Gryffindors would probably become riotous in their revelry and by the end of the weekend, poor James would probably be so tired he wouldn't know what to do with himself. Lily stopped mid- step at that thought and shook herself; she'd been noticing that more and more often that her thoughts were constantly redirected towards James, no matter what she was doing. It was starting to become very frustrating.

Deciding to worry about it later, Lily left the room in search of her _boyfriend._

She found him in the Great Hall surrounded by his friends and with a continuous line of people walking past him, all taking the opportunity to either slap his back or whisper a threat to him, depending on that student's particular house allegiance.

Lily watched him from the door for a few seconds and was surprised at how nervous he appeared to her. She'd never seen him like this before and so she looked around at the Marauders for signs that they had noticed his unusual behaviour as well.

There was no such indication, and Lily realised it was probably because he was always like this before a match and it was her who had never noticed before now.

James had always been relatively quiet the mornings before a match. She'd never really taken the time to realise any bravado he did give wasn't because he was feeling confident, but was for the benefit of his team, his house, and often his own nerves.

Suddenly feeling awful for the many years of abuse she'd given him before matches, Lily was quick to take the empty seat next to him. He didn't immediately notice her presence because he was distracted by a pompous Hufflepuff who was spouting his opinions on what James could do to improve his flying.

Lily spent the time he was caught in conversation giving the breakfast table an extensive search, looking for a muffin. Just as she realised there were none left, James turned towards her angrily, looking as if he were going to shout, but he caught himself before the first syllable had left his mouth.

"Oh, Lily, it's you," he sighed with obvious relief. "I've been trying to save you that seat all morning, but people I don't know keep sitting there and trying to tell me how I can improve my game—it's a bloody joke, half of them don't even know how to hold a broom and they're giving _me_ advice!" he said aggravated, finally slumping into her and resting his forehead on her shoulder wearily.

She could feel the strain coming off him in waves. "Don't worry, I'm here now, and I don't know if you've ever noticed, but I can scare away just about anyone if I'm angry enough," she confided conspiratorially, patting his head consolingly.

He lifted his head and chuckled. "I may have noticed that trait once or twice, actually."

Lily rolled her eyes at his cheeky grin and asked, "Have you eaten?"

"No, but I don't normally manage much before a match, partly because people won't leave me alone long enough to take a bite, and partly because I'm a little nervous." He admitted sheepishly "So basically I've had nothing, regardless of having been here for half an hour."

While he'd been talking, Lily had buttered a soft roll and folded it into a bacon sandwich, placing it in front of him without a word.

He stared at it and Lily looked at him anxiously. "What's the matter?"

"You made me a bacon sandwich?" he asked, staring at the item in question strangely.

"Yeah, did you want sauce on it? Sorry, normally you leave it plain."

"You made me a bacon sandwich." he repeated. "…_Why_?"

She blushed a little, but confidently answered, "Bacon sandwiches are your favourite thing to have for breakfast, so I figured if you'd eat anything, you'd eat that."

"How do you even _know_ that?" he asked with quiet incredulity. "I normally just have cereal."

"I know, but you like to treat yourself sometimes."

He stared at her blankly and Lily began to fidget, feeling embarrassment rising within her the longer he stared. "Come on, James, we've been having breakfast together for months now, how could I possibly _not_ have noticed?" she finally said in a quiet voice.

"I guess," he mumbled, a strange and almost affectionate look overtaking his face as he watched her, finally reaching out and pushing her hair over her shoulder, his hand gently brushing her cheek. He hoped his small display of affection would tell her what his mouth couldn't seem to say, that he was touched by the notice she'd given him.

She replied to his action by smiling timidly before taking a bite out of her own sandwich.

He opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted. "Come on mate, time to get down to the pitch, can't win without our captain!"

Aggravated, James turned and acknowledged his team mate and made to leave, but not before leaning down and placing a gentle kiss on Lily's cheek. "Thanks, Lily," he whispered in her ear.

"What for?" she questioned a little breathlessly, trying to ignore the tingling feeling on her cheek where he'd kissed her.

"Well, normally before a match I sit here second guessing plays and worrying about weather conditions," he smiled, his hand still on her face holding her close. "But today you managed to distract me."

"Oh well, glad I could be of some use," she said, trying to lighten the atmosphere that seemed to have descended over them, but not once trying to pull away, even covering his hand with her own.

He smiled before he tenderly pulled his hand away, turned and began to walk away, and as he did Lily looked down at her plate, noticing that a muffin had materialised out of seemingly nowhere.

She called out to him questioningly, holding up the muffin. "James?"

He turned his head and seeing her holding the muffin, shrugged. "I know how much you like them, and when I got here there was only one left so… I saved it for you. You know… just in case."

She watched as he started to walk away again. "James?

"Yeah, Evans?" he sighed in mock aggravation at being stopped again, this time choosing not to stop completely, just continuing to walk away backwards so that he was facing her, a large smile now on his face.

Lily didn't answer with words, she merely took off her jacket and turned around, giving him a clear and spectacular view of the back of the Gryffindor jersey she was wearing, sporting the name POTTER written in big bold black letters right across her back.

James's step faltered and he stopped. Lily turned back around and met his scorching gaze unflinchingly, and watched mesmerised as a soft smile touched the corners of his mouth.

"It suits you," he said quietly, his voice somehow managing to carry over the din.

---

"You bloody idiot!" A voice bellowed, echoing loudly around the sterile and normally silent room, the large wooden door slamming against the wall increasing the noise level to epic proportions.

"How could you be so stupid?! Do you have any idea what it felt like to see you fall off your broom like that?!" Lily railed, as she stormed in to the Hospital Wing sending terrified students and team members scattering out of her way.

"Lils," James sighed, relieved.

That only angered Lily further, he shouldn't be relieved, he should be terrified. "Don't you _Lils_ me, you arse! I thought you were supposed to be able to fly, I _thought_ you were supposed to be some kind of superstar on a broom –"

"Lily—"

"NO!" she said, finally reaching him and pointing a finger accusingly in his face. "You can't fly, you're not _talented_ – you're just an idiot with a death wish floating around on a stick a hundred feet in the air!"

"Lily!"

"I thought my heart had stopped! Do you have any idea what that feels like, because let me tell you it is not pleasant!" She continued to rail at him, throwing her hands in the air.

"LILY!" James said loudly, finally managing to cut her off.

She was still glaring at him so he tried to ease her obvious worry, secretly pleased that she cared enough about his well-being to be angry. "I'm fine, see?" he said gesturing to his relatively unharmed form. "_And_ we won!"

Lily stared at him incredulously, looking poignantly towards his bandaged ribs and then his swelling cheek, but she couldn't help but calm a little seeing that he was obviously feeling well enough to be so excited.

The feeling was fleeting though, because after a second he added, "It was just a few broken ribs."

"Broken ribs!! You… you!" she stuttered, outraged. "You bloody idiot!" she cried, punching him on the arm as hard as she could.

"Hey, Evans!"

Sirius intervened appearing from seemingly nowhere, standing in front of James protectively. "He may be fine, but he's still sore, you can't punch him like that!"

"The hell I can't!" she said glaring at the Marauder, trying to make him realise that she was more than willing to direct some of her anger at him if he didn't get out of the way.

Sirius, however, remained unimpressed. "Who do you think you're talking to, Evans? I'm not James so I don't have to take any of your crap. And I'm not about to let you come storming in here bellowing at him like that—"

Noticing the rising tension, James interrupted the standoff. "It's okay, guys" he said in a calm voice, reaching up and placing a hand on Sirius's shoulder, encouraging him to back down. "Sirius, if Lily wants to hit me for being an idiot she can, after all what I did _was_ pretty stupid, and you yourself spent ten minutes shouting at me once you knew I was alright. And Lily, I realise you were worried about me, but it really was a freak accident and I'm still a bit sore, so if you could just wait until tomorrow to hit me again I would be very grateful."

After glaring at Lily for another moment, Sirius finally backed down. "Fine," he said stiffly. "I'll just leave you two to it then, shall I?" Sirius asked, throwing a quick questioning look at James.

"That would be great, thanks mate," James sighed, relieved as Sirius collected his stuff and started to leave. "Save me a drink, yeah?"

Sirius waved a hand over his shoulder to show that he'd heard and exited the room leaving a very awkward silence in his wake.

Lily stared James down angrily, but suddenly buried her head in her hands, groaning as she sat on the side of his bed.

"What's the matter?" James asked cautiously, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed so he was sitting next to her.

"I'm so sorry I came in here screaming at you and hitting you," she mumbled through her fingers. "I don't know what possessed me, of _course_ you're sore. Sirius had every right to stop me!"

"It's okay," he chuckled, rubbing her back tentatively.

"No, it's not – Oh!" she groaned again.

"What's the matter?"

"Well, I came charging in here like an angry hippogriff and I made your best friend feel like he had to leave…. I'm such an idiot, I'm so sorry…I'll go get him back for you," she said, starting to stand up so she could do just that.

His arm wrapping around her waist stopped her though.

"Lily." he whispered into her hair as he pulled her body back against his. "Please sit down. I want to see you, love."

"Are you sure? After all, Sirius—he's your best mate. He's always here for this stuff… and I'm not… even really your… girlfriend—" Lily said, having trouble getting the sentence out.

"I don't want Sirius, I want you, Lily," he said firmly, tightening his hold on her significantly, and they both paused as the impact of that statement really hit them both.

The awkwardness was back, but it was James who broke it this time. "I'm really sorry you were worried," he whispered, his head pressed to the back of hers, "but I really do feel fine, a little tender, yes, but I'm definitely still in one piece. I've had worse."

Lily's head nodded slightly, indicating she'd heard, and was appeased

James sighed, his breath ruffling her hair, "I don't think we'll be able to go to Hogsmeade tomorrow. I can leave the Hospital Wing, but I can't do anything too strenuous for a couple of days."

"That's okay." She waved him off, covering his arm with her own and settling back against him comfortably. "It's not like I've never been there before."

"True, but you've never been there with me," he said, unwilling to let go of her just yet.

"Don't worry about that," she smiled. "We'll do something else."

When he still seemed disappointed she said, "We can go next time."

"Really?" he asked, picking up a lock of her hair and wrapping it around one of his fingers.

"Sure."

"How about that party, though?" he questioned hopefully, as she finally turned in his arms.

"Let's just see how you feel," Lily said, shaking her head at his happy attitude despite what he'd just been through, before disentangling herself from his grasp and wandering off to find the nurse.

---

AN

Just in case I don't post again before the Holidays: Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Sorry for the slightly longer wait but I should hopefully have some time over the next couple of weeks to write

Thank you all for your wonderful reviews they really brighten my day.

Send me a cyber present and click on that review button


	13. Loosing Ground

James moved stiffly through the portrait hole, his body protesting his every movement, but he forced it into cooperating so that he could finally enter the party that could be heard all the way down the corridor.

Before his feet had even really touched the floor though, some imbecile had already slapped him on the back. Just as James was losing the battle against grimacing, Sirius strolled up, knocked the overenthusiastic fifth year away and took it upon himself to drag James across the room and over to the chairs that the Marauders had already secured.

When they had finally navigated themselves through the obstacle course of well-intentioned celebrators, they were relatively unscathed, thanks to Sirius's well-timed scowls and encouraging shoves out of the way. Just as James started to relax, he was unceremoniously pushed into a seat, the sudden pain knocking the breath right out of him.

"_You_ are to stay there," commanded Sirius, as he passed James a shot of Firewhiskey.

"Thanks, Sirius. You should be a nurse," James quipped sarcastically, even as he took the offered alcohol and downed it with one large gulp. It burned on its way down, but once the warmth had settled in his stomach he couldn't help but think that the pain in his side had eased a little bit.

"Ahh, diddums, was I not gentle enough with your tender and broken body?" Sirius mocked as he refilled James's glass.

James knew he was joking, he could see the concern in Sirius's eyes, and so chose not to answer, knowing it would just embarrass the both of them.

"Hey, mate." Remus greeted James as he took one of the spare seats, propping his feet up on the table and downing his own shot, shortly followed by Peter.

"Don't hog the alcohol, Padfoot," he rebuked without taking his eyes of James. "So, still alive I see?" he drawled motioning to James. "How much damage did you do this time? It was a spectacular fall, by the way. Looked like one of your worst to date."

"Yeah, well, it may have looked bad but it definitely wasn't one of the worst. Only a few broken ribs and some nice bruises for my effort this time!" James grinned sardonically.

Remus snorted as he poked Sirius into refilling his glass. "Only? Merlin, James, even Sirius and I were up out of our seat gripping on to each like a couple of little girls— only difference was Sirius's grip was so strong I think I'm going to have bruises…"

James laughed, then sobered. "What about Lily?" he asked nervously, worried that they would tell him that she had only seemed mildly concerned. It was a silly thought, especially seeing the way she had reacted in the Hospital Wing, but James couldn't shake the need for further reassurance.

"Lily was absolutely frantic," Remus answered thoughtfully. "If I'd still had any doubts about your relationship, they were certainly put to rest when I saw how she reacted to your fall. I don't think I've ever seen her lose her composure quite like that."

"Yeah," Sirius chuckled. "It was magnificent, you should be sorry you missed it actually. Lily nearly knocked the poor Astronomy teacher to the ground when she was told she wouldn't be allowed to get on to the pitch to see you. If I hadn't been so worried myself, I'd probably still be laughing over the scene."

James couldn't contain his smile at the image. Lily could be a real hellion and he wouldn't have wanted to be in the professor's shoes. But the image wasn't what was making him feel giddy; it was the fact that she really cared after all. James had known when Lily had come to see him, had known the minute he looked in her eyes that she was genuinely concerned about him, but to hear about her reaction really warmed him. It confirmed the impossible; she cared, and apparently she cared a lot.

James came back to the conversation surrounding him when he heard Remus say, "There'll be retaliation, of course."

"Of course," interjected Sirius, without even waiting for James's approval.

"Wait, wait," James insisted as his mind tried to fill in the blanks. "Retaliation for what?"

Sirius and Remus looked at James as if he were mad.

"Did you bump your head, too?" chuckled Peter, when no one else made a comment.

"Of course he hit his head, you idiot," sighed Remus. "He fell off his broom."

"That's beside the point at the moment, he's fine—" Sirius started.

"You can't retaliate!" James interrupted.

Three set of eyes turned on him.

"Why not?" Peter asked, looking at James incredulously.

The only reason James could think of was that Lily wouldn't like it but there was no way James was going to say _that_ thought out loud, and so he shrugged his shoulders instead when nothing else came to him.

Sirius was watching him closely. "James, that bastard knocked into you on purpose and it's the only reason you fell. We have to retaliate, it's what we do and we're good at it."

James nodded his acceptance of that fact and resigned himself to the anger he would probably have to endure from Lily, even if he chose not to take part.

"So it's settled then?" asked Remus, looking between James and the other Marauders.

"Yeah," James mumbled as he held out his glass to Sirius, "but fill me up, at least that way I can use my inebriation as an excuse."

"Spoken like a true alcoholic!" Sirius beamed.

The group laughed, as James rarely submitted himself to the loss of control alcohol provided, anymore. But tonight as they all took a drink together it seemed James wasn't eager to behave himself tonight.

"That's more like it!" Peter said enthusiastically, punching James in the shoulder.

"PETE!" James shouted, wincing in pain, just as Sirius and Remus clipped the boy round each ear.

"Sorry," he mumbled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head.

James rolled his eyes and took a deep breath. "Just fill me up again," he wheezed.

---

"What the hell does he think he's doing?"

"Who?"

"_Him_," James said through gritted teeth.

Sirius looked around bemusedly, then followed James gaze to rest on Gideon Prewitt, who was talking animatedly with someone blocked from Sirius's view.

"You mean Gideon?" asked Sirius, the surprise evident in this voice.

"Yes – that…that...," stammered James, gesturing over to the tall boy.

"What?"

"That toe rag!"

"Toe rag? _Gideon?_" repeated Sirius, totally perplexed now. "James, mate, you've known Gideon since you were in nappies. You two have always gotten on."

"Yeah, as a mate he's great, but with women…."

"What about him and women?"

"He's a scum bag."

"He's not a scum bag. If he treated women with anything less than kindness and respect, his brother would knock the wind right out of him," smiled Sirius, still puzzled by James's behaviour.

James just grunted in response.

Sirius craned his neck to get a better look at Gideon. What he saw made Sirius smile and before long he was laughing. "Ahh, I see now." Sirius's view was now un-obscured, and he realized why James was being so unreasonable.

"See? What is it you think you see?" asked James. "All I see is some womanising twat hanging all over Lily."

"But that's the point isn't it? He's hanging all over _Lily_. You wouldn't care if it was somebody else – admit it."

"Of course I would care - he's just standing so close to her, how can she even breathe? I know he can be a cheeky wanker, but I didn't think he'd ever have had the nerve to hit on Lily, and in front of me, too! I'm going to make him run extra laps at practice!"

"What?! James, you've never abused your position as duelling captain. Never."

"Well, for this, I'll make an exception."

Sirius, starting to get worried by the darkening tone of James's voice, replied in a placating voice, "James, mate, they are just talking. Just like you were talking to Cassie Mira a few minutes ago."

"The hell they are!" James said, but at that moment Gideon left Lily's side, waved to James, and continued on his way.

James's stance relaxed and Sirius forced a chuckle. "See? All worried for nothing. What did I tell you?"

James grinned sheepishly. "I know, I know. Gideon has been my friend for years, I was being irrational."

"At least you can admit it," Sirius said, shaking his head, a genuine smile starting to curl his mouth.

James smiled in response. "The booze must be doing strange things to my mind."

"More like making you more uninhibited with your feelings," Sirius grinned. "I have to say it's bizarre to see you like this. You've never been the jealous type before."

"Shut up," James mumbled, downing another shot to cover his embarrassment, "I'm not jealous."

---

An hour or so later though, James once again felt that familiar pang of jealousy burn inside him , but this time it wasn't Gideon who was behind it .

"What the bloody hell does that bastard think he's doing?!" he growled as he watched Brandon Thomas get entirely too close to Lily, whispering something in her ear. James arriving back at the Gryffindor party having left to retrieve his hidden stash of whiskey and now fresh from his tenth shot, was annoyed to return only to see the sixth year practically pressing himself up against Lily, whispering to her and touching her hair flirtatiously.

"Chill mate," Sirius intercepted him before he did anything stupid, thinking that this hissy fit was just a repeat of his earlier worries about Gideon. He grabbed the bottle and poured more drinks as he spoke. "She's _your_ girlfriend, and she's Lily. I've seen you two together, and that kid doesn't stand a snowball's chance in hell of getting with her," Sirius assured further, putting a restraining hand on James's shoulder.

"I don't care," muttered James. "That bastard is entirely too close to her."

"It can't be that bad. You're just making a mountain out of a mole hill… it's the booze," Sirius said, without even turning around to look and desperately hoping he was right.

"What's got you so insecure tonight anyway? It's unlike you. Are you and Lily having trouble or something?" Sirius looked thoughtfully at James, his brows furrowed .

"No!" James quickly defended. "We're doing really well, or at least I thought we were," he muttered, trying to watch Lily out of his peripheral vision.

"Exactly," Sirius nodded. "You two are good together, and she doesn't even know Brandon. Give her a little credit, James."

"Since when do you defend Lily?" asked James, momentarily distracted, turning his attention to his best friend.

"Since you like her so much," shrugged Sirius, watching Brandon and Lily out of the corner of his eye and desperately hoping James wouldn't look back over just yet. He had just noticed how Lily had started frowning and trying to move away from Brandon , but having little success.

If he hadn't known without a shadow of a doubt that James would pulverise the bloke if left alone even for a moment, Sirius himself would have gone over to have words with the arrogant little prick.

Sirius could see how uncomfortable Lily was and he just prayed James wouldn't notice.

James was becoming awfully protective; it was instinctual for him to defend the people he cared about, and unless Sirius was severely miscalculating Lily fell more firmly into that category than almost anyone else. Sirius knew without hesitation that it would be one thing to insult James, but it would quite another to upset Lily. Hell, James was getting to the point where he would probably kill anyone who made her _frown_.

Just as that thought crossed his mind, Brandon reached out and ran his hand down Lily's cheek. Lily slapped his hand away but the fool wasn't deterred. Sirius was itching to intervene now. His eyes frantically searched for one of the other Marauders, hoping they could diffuse the problem before it got out of hand, or better yet, take over the duty of restraining James and allow Sirius the opportunity to have words with the git.

It was only a matter of time before James noticed where Brandon was trying to put his hand. When James was sober he noticed _everything_, and by now half the room was now watching and sending wary looks in James's direction. The tension would be hard to miss despite intoxication.

"What an idiot," Sirius muttered, shaking his head at Brandon's stupidity. He turned around to James to try and placate him before a real fight broke out.

James and Brandon already had a bit of a rivalry going on because of the duelling club, if a fight broke out it would only add fuel to an already blazing fire.

Brandon was convinced he'd make just as good a captain as James, and so he undermined James' authority at every opportunity. He was wrong of course, no one was as good as James. Brandon had always taken James's patience and understanding for granted and had never seemed to realise that James was constantly holding back at practice and even in school competitions. Very few people to would be able to stay standing up for longer that a minute if James decided to duel without limits.

Under normal circumstances Brandon would have been kicked off the team a year ago. Unfortunately, whilst he was no competition for James the boy really was good at his craft, and so his insubordination had been tolerated.

The bastard knew he was on thin ice though, and the last thing Sirius thought the idiot should be doing was hitting on his already impatient captain's girlfriend.

He'd never witnessed such blatant stupidity.

Then again, Brandon had only _ever_ seen James in paltry _school_ competitions, never in real competition or worse; when the situation really called for it. James could terrify even Sirius when he was in full battle mode. Truth be told, Sirius had only seen one or two other people as wickedly fast or as talented as James in a fight. He was totally ruthless, too when the situation called for it. Brandon was an idiot of the highest order for thinking he could get away with this insult unscathed. When James was finished with him, Sirius would probably have the unpleasant duty of scraping the stupid boy off the walls.

This situation was too volatile to ignore, but just as Sirius turned to James to attempt to diffuse the situation by pulling James out of the room, James's face went hard and his eyes flashed fire, telling Sirius that his attention was once again on the couple in the corner. Sirius groaned inwardly.

"Where the hell did he just put his hand?" James asked in a deadly calm voice, the one Sirius knew was only used when James was suffering from the cool detached ruthless anger that made him truly terrifying and dangerous.

Later, Sirius wouldn't be ashamed to admit that he stepped away from his friend at that moment, knowing the entire situation was beyond his control.

"What the _fuck _do you think you're doing?!" roared James, pulling away from his friend and walking with controlled measure steps to the place where Brandon now had Lily pressed between his body and the wall.

James came to an abrupt stop inches from Brandon's back, and made eye contact with Lily over the boy's shoulder, but he was too angry to notice her revulsion for the boy holding her so indecently.

"Get out of here, Brandon," commanded James, in a voice made of steel.

It finally seemed to penetrate into Brandon's slow mind that there was a very angry and extremely able boyfriend standing millimetres away from him.

"We were just _talking_, weren't we, precious?" Brandon said cockily, without even turning to face James.

Sirius had to shake his head in amazement. The boy had no clue what he was getting himself in for.

In a voice that shook with cold fury, James asked, "_Talking_? No, Brandon, you just did the most incredibly stupid thing in your pathetic excuse for a life and put your hand on _my_ girlfriends arse."

Brandon made no response other than shrugging his shoulders indifferently. "What you going to do about it?" he asked mockingly

Incensed even further by Brandon's lack of respect and fear, James roughly grabbed him by his shoulder and spun him around before Lily could even utter a word.

Being a dueller, Brandon simply reacted to being handled so roughly and when he pivoted towards James, he used the momentum to swing his fist.

Despite his inebriated state, James was _still_ exceptional in defence and so he saw the punch coming and was easily able to knock the hand away right before he pressed his arm against the idiot's chest and shoved him up against the wall so hard the wind was knocked right out of him.

As soon as Brandon was facing his captain and could finally see the fury in his eyes, all cockiness vanished like smoke.

"James!" shouted Lily.

"I'm going to kill you" James whispered right into Brandon's face "and I'm going to enjoy it".

"James!"

"Don't worry Precious he doesn't have it in him" Brandon managed to smirk through his rising panic

"Shut up!" Lily snapped back.

Both boys ignored her

"Judging by your little show just now I'm guessing you think you know what I'm capable of?"

Feeling brave Brandon said "You don't have what it takes Potter." even as James started to apply more pressure to his neck

Lily looked at the boy still in such a precarious position trapped against the wall by an irate James and decided that the boy had to be insane, eventually she said in an incredulous voice "Don't be an idiot he really could kill you."

Hearing Lily's confidence in his ability brought James a little closer to reality and he couldn't help but turn to look at her to make sure she was being sincere, noticing she finally had his attention she caught his eye and said in a pleading voice "James put him down now."

"He was touching you, Lily," was the growled response and James felt the red haze of rage start to overtake him again.

"Yes he was, but I was managing it on my own, thank you very much, and I don't need your interference….I can look after myself," she told him, resting her hand on his shoulder and squeezing with an iron hard grip, trying to remind him without words that he was the reason she could protect herself. "Let him go," she said forcefully. "He's drunk and he doesn't know any better."

James hesitate then let Brandon go with a look of disgust, as the boy before him slumped back against the wall, trying to get air back into his lungs. When he'd recovered enough the burly sixth year held up his hands, hoping to placate James by proving he was no longer touching his girlfriend. "Sorry must have… slipped." It was a ludicrous thing to say, but James decided to let it go for now as he watched the pervy bastard back away from Lily. He would deal with him later, when there was no one around to witness it.

It was unfortunate that Brandon had disappeared though, because now James had nowhere to direct his anger but towards Lily

"What the bloody fuck was that?!" he demanded angrily.

"We were just talking," Lily was quick to say, taken aback by James's protectiveness and anger. She knew she would only flame it further by telling him the truth. She'd wait for him to calm down first; Lily knew better than anyone what James was capable of, and whilst she disliked Brandon immensely, she didn't want the foolish boy to die.

"Maybe _you_ were just talking, but _he_ was hitting on you."

"He was not!" She glared at James. "And even if he was, I can take care of myself! Can't you just calm down and let it go?"

"He _was_, Lily," retorted James, exasperated by her naiveté, "and I will not bloody calm down!"

"Have you been drinking?" she asked, quickly changing the subject.

"For medicinal purposes," he quipped dryly, his eyes still burning with anger. "Stop avoiding the issue. Why did you even bother talking to him?" he demanded again.

Lily rolled her eyes. "What do you care anyway?" she continued, flustered by having his anger directed at her.

"I don't care what you do as long as it's in private," he spat at her, ignoring the look of hurt that flashed clearly across her face and his heart's answering thump. "You made me look stupid tonight hanging off of him like that. You may not really be my girlfriend, but other people don't know that and I wont have anyone else, especially not _him_, thinking he can take my girlfriend!" he whispered harshly, grabbing her arm and squeezing, "You could ruin everything – everything we've worked for!"

"Let go of me, you're hurting me!" she demanded, her eyes flashing at what he was insinuating.

James let go instantly, but whilst he could stop himself from physically hurting her, he couldn't help but give into the childish need to try to hurt her emotionally, to try and make her feel the way he was feeling.

"So, is that what this is all about – you don't want your precious reputation hurt?!" she suddenly demanded.

"Look we agreed-"

"I know what we agreed, but that's just it James - we have an _agreement_, that doesn't mean you get to dictate who I can and can't _talk_ to!" interrupted Lily angrily. She shook her head in disbelief. "That's all I am to you, isn't it?" she laughed humourlessly. "After everything, I'm just some sort of possession to you!"

"Damn right, and I won't let you make a fool of me. You were acting like you wanted his attention, like some kind of…of…whor—"

"Don't you _dare_ finish that sentence!" Lily shouted, and then took a moment to try to breathe through the pain. She pinched the bridge of her nose and tried to calm down. "I didn't know what he wanted until it was too late," she whispered in a suddenly defeated voice. She couldn't believe what he was saying to her. _How had she misjudged him so badly? _

"Well then, you're stupid," he spat. "Because I could see his intentions clear across the room, just like everyone else!" He'd practically bellowed that last sentence at her and that action, adding to the strain of lifting Brandon clear off the floor only minutes ago, proved too much for his still tender ribs. Suddenly, he groaned and had to lower himself on to one of the chairs behind him, clutching at his side the whole time.

"James! Are you alright" Lily asked in a shaky voice, forgetting his hurtful words the moment she saw he was in pain, and taking a step towards him.

"_Don't_," he commanded holding up a hand. "I'm fine. Just leave me be. I don't want you near me at the moment."

Lily just stared at him, her mouth stretched into a thin line. James expected her to shout at him, like she always did when they fought, but instead she whispered one word before leaving, "Fine."

James was still too angry and in too much pain to hear the slight hitch in her voice. Still that one word felt like a stab to his gut, and James stood up quickly as she started to move away, ignoring the now burning pain in his over stretched ribs.

"Lily!" James bellowed, as she walked away, completely ignoring him. "Lily!"

"James, that's enough," commanded Sirius, coming up behind him.

James turned furiously to his friend and finally realised the whole room was watching. The shock quickly cleared his brain of his haze of anger.

He turned back around to where Lily had been standing, and the thought that she had been on the verge of tears finally penetrated his mind. The empty spot where she had stood made him feel physically sick.

James stood still, staring at the spot she'd just left from, with his emotions twisting his gut. _What had he just done?_

But Sirius once again interrupted his musings. "Sit down man, before you need another trip the bloody Hospital Wing."

James threw a dirty look at his friend, half tempted to storm out after Lily and finish their argument before getting down on his knees and apologising profusely, but Sirius distracted him.

"What kind of agreement was she talking about, James?" he asked almost absently, hoping to take his friend's mind off what had just happened. It didn't have the desired effect.

"Nothing!" James suddenly roared, before spinning on his heel and following Lily's exit.

---

AN

I know its been a while but this is an extra long chap!

I apologise for the wait but I have to work and whilst its not nearly as much fun a writing, it still has to be done

Massive thanks to Abok for her help

I will try and update again soon but unfortunately the next chap is not even close to being finished…

Thank you for all your reviews!!


	14. Gaining it Again

The next morning James was slow to wake up.

Groggily, he raised his hand so he could slap the back of it over his eyes and block out the bright light trying filtering through his closed lids. He was shocked however, when instead of coming into contact with his own face, he felt the unfamiliar texture of someone else hovering over him.

"What the-" he stuttered, his eyes flashing open wide so suddenly that his eyes stung and began to water.

What little James was able to see, without his glasses and with his retinas burning, revealed that Sirius was leaning over him, watching him expectantly.

James was so shocked to find someone looming over him that he almost shouted out, but he managed to control the urge at the last minute. He just shoved his friend in the shoulder instead.

Sirius grunted as his body took the impact but instead of retaliating as he would have usually done, all he did was flash James an uncharacteristically sympathetic smile.

"_What?!"_ James snapped, tension suddenly flooding his body. After all, it was very rare for Sirius to be sympathetic over anything or towards anyone, so James was finding it understandably disconcerting to have it directed towards himself.

"You called her a whore," Sirius stated in a soft, half-amazed, half-pitying voice, shaking his head back and forth .

James, who was still trying to shake both sleep and the shock of finding Sirius Black perched over him, could only stare uncomprehendingly.

Remus replied in his stead, "James called someone a whore?!" He scoffed at the bizarre announcement. "No way."

"Yes, way," Sirius defended, as Remus threw himself across the foot of the bed, landing hard on James's legs. James choked down a groan before kicking his friend in retaliation. Remus grinned in return, but eventually complied with the silent command and shifted his weight.

Sirius ignored their childish antics and nodded his head slowly his eyes wide. "He. Called. Her. A. Whore." Sirius repeated, enunciating each word for emphasis.

"Pull the other one. I didn't hear anything of the sort," Remus smiled, leaning back on his elbows.

"That's because you weren't there," Sirius said grimly, and seeing that Sirius wasn't joking, Remus's smile began to fade.

After last night 's drinking though, James was a little slower on the uptake. "Where are you going with this wind-up?" he sighed, rubbing his eyes tiredly. "Could you get to the punch line quickly because I'm really not in the mood. I'm tired, hungry, and I have a headache."

"No wind- up, James. You called her a whore." Sirius repeated for what felt like the millionth time, aggravation in his tone over the fact that his friends weren't listening to him.

"Yes, Sirius, I caught that part, but you have yet to tell us who _exactly_ he called a whore," Remus pointed out in a deceptively light voice.

"I didn't call anyone _anything_ of the sort," James interjected roughly. "I may have been a little tipsy last night—"

"You were more than tipsy." Sirius cocked his head at James and suppressed a snigger.

James snorted. "I haven't had a really heavy night in over a year. I learnt my lesson and I learnt it well."

"Actually, James," Remus said musingly, "you did seem rather pissed."

James looked between Remus and Sirius warily.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Why the hell do you think you feel so tired and hungry then, huh? Didn't you mention a headache? Do you normally sleep fully clothed? All symptoms of a hangover, my idiotic friend."

"Huh." James frowned down at his twisted shirt like he'd never seen it before. "I guess you're right."

"So we've established James was drunk?" Remus smiled. " Well, I haven't seen that in a while. I'm a little sorry I missed it."

"He was drunk and suffering from a _severe_ attack of the green-eyed monster."

"He was jealous?" Remus scoffed. "I don't think I've ever seen James _jealous_."

Sirius shrugged. "Neither had I, but it's the only logical explanation for the way he was acting and the things he said."

"Jealous?!" James laughed, "Of whom?"

"Well first it was Lily and Gideon--"

"First?!" asked Remus, at the same time James said, "_Gideon? _Now I know you're messing with me! Why would I be jealous of him? I'd trust him with my life, why would I not trust him with my girlfriend?"

Sirius shrugged, not in the least bit put off. "That was exactly my point last night."

"So…"

"Well, obviously nothing happened. Even when drunk, I think James knew that the idea that Gideon would hit on Lily was ridiculous," Sirius confirmed. "But then it was Lily and Brandon-"

"Ah," Remus said knowingly.

"I have to admit," Sirius said suddenly in James's defence, "Brandon was really starting to push his luck – the little git deserved everything he got and more. I would have done it myself if I thought it was safe to leave you alone—" he continued heatedly, gesturing at James vaguely.

"Sirius, stop waffling and get to the bloody point!" James demanded as he started to lose his patience and brief images of the night before started to skitter across his memory.

"Well, after you pulled Brandon off and he'd scampered away like the rodent that he is, you kind of turned your anger on Lily."

"And in his anger he called her a whore?" Remus asked incredulously, catching on much quicker than James. "Lily? _Lily Evans?_ His seemingly loving and devoted girlfriend of months— he called her a whore?"

"Ya- huh," Sirius nodded.

"No, I didn't." James denied confidently, shaking his head at Remus and Sirius.

"Yeah, James, you did," said Sirius quietly, flashing that uncharacteristic sympathy towards James once more.

James started to shake his head again, but suddenly he stopped in mid-action as the events of the night finally filtered together in his still slightly hazy consciousness.

He groaned suddenly as he dropped his head into his hands, the realization of what he had done finally hitting him full force.

"See?" Sirius pointed out almost triumphantly after hearing the noise "I _told_ you he called her a whor—"

"Don't say it!" barked James, holding up a quelling hand.

"But you did. If you said it, why can't I? You called her a— "

"Enough! I _almost_ called her one," James grumbled, cutting Sirius off before he could say the word again.

"Same difference," Sirius responded, shrugging in an off-hand manner.

James felt like cringing just thinking about it. He scrubbed a hand down his face and turned to his two friends. "Bugger," he finally sighed. "You're right."

"Of course I am – anyway I just thought you might like to know. I thought you might like to apologise."

"I thought you were angry with her?" James asked absently, referring to Sirius's behaviour the day before in the Hospital Wing, when he had yelled at Lily who was yelling at James for getting himself hurt.

"Nah, I could tell she was upset and that the only way I would be able to get through to her was if I shouted. She really made me like her more. It showed me she actually cares about you, the loveable little git that you are." He said as he reached out and pinched James's cheek "You can't fake that kind of reaction."

"Bugger," James sighed even as he slapped Sirius's hand away. "And then I was a real…"

"Wanker." Sirius supplied cheerfully.

James opened his mouth to protest and then shook his head. "Yeah I was a wanker - so what do I do now?"

"Damage control, and fast."

---

"_Lily,"_ a deep voice managed to intrude though the curled cocoon of blankets.

The loud voice was quickly followed by Emily's timid prod and a hesitant, "Um, Lily—"

"_Lily!"_ The voice shouted again interrupting Emily. _"Lily Evans!"_

"Lily, I think James is calling you," Emily attempted once more.

"Tell him to sod off, I'm sleeping," she croaked without even attempting to move.

"I don't think that's going to dissuade him. He seems pretty determined." As soon as Emily finished that sentence James loud booming voice filled the room again.

"_Lily! I need to talk to you!"_

When Lily still didn't move in response to his loud voice or her friends timid attempt to get her to deal with the situation, Jennifer came storming out of the bathroom over to the lump she knew was Lily's curled form and brandishing her toothbrush like a wand she said, "Lily, if you don't stop that boy from shouting in the next few seconds, I am going to go down there and maim that beautiful face you must love so much!"

"Be my guest," was the harsh reply, muttered from beneath Lily's blankets.

"_LILY EVANS!"_

Jennifer stared at her friend in confusion, "For the love of magic Lily, go down there and deal with your man before the stupid idiot decides to actually come up here and cause real chaos. We _both _know he knows how!"

"No," Lily said stubbornly, curling herself up even tighter in her blankets

"_Lily…_" said Jennifer in a warning voice.

Lily groaned. "Bugger."

"What?" Jennifer sat down at the foot of the bed and put her hand on the lump masquerading as her friend.

"You're really going to make me deal with him aren't you?" Lily's voice was muffled, but there was no mistaking the resignation in her tone.

"Yes," was the straight forward reply. "And even if I weren't making you deal with him, there's no point trying to avoid him. You know better than anyone I imagine, what James is capable of when he's determined, " Jennifer said rolling her eyes. "Anyway, what could Boy Wonder have done that was so terrible?"

Lily angrily tore her quilt away from her face and glared at her friend. "He's a_ prick_," she hissed. "Isn't that enough?"

Jennifer and Emily were both so shocked by Lily's red eyes and tear streaked face that all they could do was stare.

Then suddenly they demanded at the same time,

"What the hell happened?"

"Are you okay?"

"That's it, I really am going to go down there and maim him," Jennifer pronounced when Lily hadn't answered.

Lily ignored her friend's fervent threat and rolled out of bed mumbling, "Fuck, I'm going to have to go down there with everyone watching, aren't I?"

"_LILY!" _She heard James voice bellowing from down the stairs as if in confirmation.

"I'm coming, you obnoxious idiot!" Lily finally screamed back, shocking Jennifer into inaction.

It was obvious that he along with the rest of Gryffindor had heard her as well, because with those words the loud bellowing finally ceased.

--

"What do you want?" Lily demanded of James once she was dressed and standing on the bottom step tapping her foot, and with her arms crossed tightly across her chest.

James hesitated, taking in her strained face and defensive posture before saying, "We're going to Hogsmeade."

"Are you mad?" she asked, so surprised that her arms dropped to her sides and her mouth fell open.

"Depends who you ask," he quipped, a wry smile on his handsome face.

Lily glared. "Yes, well, in case you hadn't noticed, or were too drunk to remember, we had a fight last night. And even if that wasn't the case you _fell_ off your _broom_ yesterday and have _several_ broken ribs. So…"

James negligently waved off the comment about his ribs "Firstly, we used to fight all the time. In comparison to some of our previous arguments, last night was just pathetic. Secondly, I've never forgotten anything that's happened between us, good or bad, you think I'd start now? Third, I'm sorry about last night and I want a chance to make it up to you," he interrupted quickly, searching her face for traces of forgiveness.

When she appeared unmoved, James promptly switched tactics. He continued in a commanding voice he often used during practice, "I invited you to Hogsmeade, you accepted and so we are damn bloody well going to go!"

Lily frowned and shook her head tiredly. "James I shouldn't have agreed to go with you in the first place. I'm not even supposed to go to Hogsmeade – I promised my dad, and he didn't sign the form."

"You seemed eager enough when I asked you," he countered in a gruff voice. "How did you expect us to go before?"

"Before?" Lily gave a bitter chuckle. "_Before_, I was more willing to bend the rules in order to be able to go with you. " She shook her head and turned her face away from him. "Not anymore," she mumbled.

"Lily," he said resting his large palms on her tense shoulder and forcing her to face him. "I'm really sorry about yesterday and I want to make it up to you. I'll hold you here all day if I have to, but know that we _are_ going… one way or another."

Then, before Lily even had a chance to draw breath, James was dragging her towards the exit.

"I don't want to go!" Lily cried out in desperation, uselessly pushing at his hand where it gripped her. "Let go of me!"

James simply ignored her.

"Potter, I don't even have my cloak!" she shouted as a last ditch attempt to get him to release her.

"I'll keep you warm," he said just as they reached the courtyard and a hard gust of wind blew by.

Lily flushed and looked at James incredulously as she allowed herself to be pulled down the path to the castle gates.

James caught her look and didn't understand it at first, but then he rolled his eyes. "I meant I'd place a warming charm on you."

"Oh, okay," Lily nodded, resigning herself to being pulled around by him, knowing him well enough now to know that she'd never had a chance of winning this particular battle of wills.

Suddenly she found herself pulled to a stop, and toe to toe with James. She felt his finger on her chin as he tilted her face towards him. "Unless you… you want me to…" he trailed off, lifting his arm uselessly trying to indicate he'd wrap his arm around her.

Mortified, Lily simply shook her head as her cheeks tinged pink.

James watched her intently and thought about her actions, and then without further ado, threw his arm around her and continued to drag her further out in to the crisp morning air.

After a couple of dazed steps Lily finally recovered herself enough to wriggle free of his hold.

As she did so, he let out a hiss of air and the colour drained from his face right before a subconscious movement of his hand covered his ribs.

"Bloody hell, James!" she said angrily. "You're not invincible and putting your arm around my shoulder to keep me warm is not a good enough reason to put yourself through pain!"

"Of course it is," he interrupted, trying to smirk unsuccessfully, grimacing as another sharp pain hit.

Lily rolled her eyes before saying furiously, "I don't even want you touching me right now!"

He frowned at her. "But Lily—"

Lily made something akin to a growling noise. "You dragged me along with you under protest! So just because I'm here with you doesn't mean that everything is fine, you know!"

"I know," James said seriously. "But it's a start."

Lily felt a little of her resolve melt a fraction as she looked into his earnest face, but then she recalled the night before and how he hadn't even bothered to try and find her, about the time she spent crying – she never cried and she resented him for making her do it – and her anger came back full force.

"Oh, just go away, James! I'm not even close to being ready to deal with you," she said right before she spun round and charged off in the direction of Hogsmeade, leaving James to stare after her stupidly.

Coming to his senses, he whispered, "Oh, hell no," then charged directly after her.

"Stop!" he demanded, when he finally managed to catch up to her. "Can't we talk about this like grown-ups?" he asked, even as she continued her furious pace.

Lily stopped, her whole body going rigid. She spun around, her eyes blazing. "I don't know, James, can we? Are you capable of having an adult conversation without jumping to bloody conclusions or calling me names, like you did last night?"

"Of course I can," he mumbled contritely. "I said I was sorry and that I wanted to make it up to you. I don't know what else to say."

Lily stared at him in disbelief, her hands on her hips. "You want to talk? Then fine, we'll talk! " She threw her hands in the air and took a step closer to James. "Just as soon as you explain to me what the hell that was last night? Bloody hell, James, I thought you knew me, we're supposed to be friends - friends who trust each other - and you're accusing me of being stupid enough to throw it all away over some boy I don't even know!!" she cried, her voice suddenly thick. "You're acting just like my father." Lily's chest was heaving, her eyes going from fierce to cloudy at her declaration.

That took James aback, he could see that she wasn't just angry anymore- he'd been too livid last night to notice- she was upset. If he hadn't known better he would have thought she was on the verge of tears, and she never cried. Guilt immediately flooded him at the thought that he had the power to make her cry.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel like that, I was…" he trailed off, scrubbing a hand down his face, searching for the right words.

"You were what?" she said, poking him roughly in the chest with her index finger. "An idiot? A wanker? How about a chauvinistic pig, who despite all his training and encouragement, still thinks that I'm a pathetic little girl who isn't even capable of having a conversation with someone without having to have them screened first?"

James felt immediately ashamed. "I'm sorry Lily, I know this is a sore spot for you and I would never purposely make you feel that way. I have faith in you. I really do."

"Oh, just save it, James! No matter what you say now, I won't believe it. Last night showed me that you say one thing, but really you mean another. You think I'm an incompetent idiot who needs to be protected at every moment. Just bloody admit it so we can end this farce and move on with our lives!"

"No! That's not true, I don't think that!" James exclaimed "I'm so sorry and I know I deserve all those names you called me and more, but I was…."

Lily groaned. "You were what?" she demanded. "Stop stalling and say what it is you want to say so I can leave." She looked him straight in the eyes, her expression fierce.

James took a deep breath, realizing he had no choice but to tell her the truth. "I was jealous," he finally admitted slowly. "I was so bloody jealous, I couldn't see straight, Lily."

That brought her anger up short.

"What?" she asked incredulously, her eyes widening.

"Don't make me say it again. I feel stupid enough as it is," muttered James.

"You were jealous…. really?" Lily asked, her anger deflating and a strangely pleased feeling streaking through her at the thought.

"Yeah."

"But… why?"

James ran a hand through his messy hair, sighing as he tried to explain. "I don't know Lily. It's just that we spend so much time together… and we get on so bloody well… sometimes it's hard to distinguish between what's real and what's fake. I saw him hitting on you and I couldn't seem to control myself. Plus I have some pre-existing issues with Brandon that just inflamed my reaction to seeing him with you. That bloke shouldn't even be allowed to breath the same air as you, let alone be allowed to put his hands on you."

Lily was flabbergasted. "James, you don't need to be jealous. I know Brandon's an idiot."

James nodded. "I know. I know you do, but don't you see I wasn't angry because I thought he might hurt you, or because I thought you didn't have enough sense to walk away. I was angry because…"

"You were jealous," Lily repeated with a tinge of awe in her voice.

"I may have also been feeling a little insecure," James said, deciding that he'd opened a can of worms so he may as well empty it. "You're not really my girlfriend so I have no …no say. No reassurance that you're not out snogging someone else…" he continued before he suddenly looked up at her, his hands grasping his hair "Oh god, you're not are you?"

"NO!" she told him, anger coming back into her voice.

"Good," he said quickly before they could start arguing again. "Um, neither am I by the way."

The warm feeling that spread through her surprised her; she hadn't realised how much she'd needed his reassurance as well.

"I haven't with anyone since we started this…. I….I haven't wanted to." James's hazel eyes looked straight into her green ones then, causing a slight flutter in her belly at their intensity.

"Well…. well good," she eventually managed to say, before she cleared her throat and admitted, "I haven't wanted to, either."

James nodded; seeming relieved both with her answer and with the fact that he didn't have to expose his feelings any more. He held out his hand to her. "Come on, Lils, I know exactly how to sneak you out so let's just say truce and go have a good time, yeah?"

Lily grumbled under her breath a moment. "You're a idiot, you know that right?" she said blowing out one last angry huff of air.

James nodded "A big one."

She laughed a little right before she took his hand.

---

A/N

Wow. I know it must have been a real shock to see an update.

I left the chap extra long to make up for the wait.

I apologise to all of you who have been leaving reviews – I'm so sorry that I haven't been getting back to you…. Especially you regulars out there. Please be forgiving!

Just so you know the next chap is almost finished so the next update should be quite quick….depending on the incentive….REVIEW

I have to thank abok1972 who took time out her very schedule to help get this chap up to scratch.... all together with me now...."THANK YOU!"


	15. Playing by the Rules

James watched intently as Lily's cheeks grew pinker and pinker as she wielded her wand back and forth. He could tell she was deep in concentration and completely focused, and it pleased him immensely that she was working so hard. He liked to think, deep down, that not only was she doing all of this to prove something to her father, but to please him as well.

If their fight and subsequent Hogsmeade visit proved anything, it was that at long last, the two had developed a bond and mutual respect for one another. Just being able to admit to her that he had been jealous was a huge hurdle in their relationship. Lily seemed to soften somewhat at his confession, and now they were getting along as well as before their fight, if not better.

"Okay, I think you're ready," James announced, having noticed that Lily's energy was in rapid decline and knowing her well enough to recognise when one of her episodes was imminent. As soon as he'd noticed, he knew they needed to end the practical portion of their training. Her stamina was better, but it still worried him.... _a lot_.

"Ready for what?" Lily puffed as she leant over her knees, trying to catch her breath after their most recent practice duel.

"For duelling club. For a real team practice..I think you're ready."

"Oh," she said, unsure as to what else she should say.

"Just, _oh_?" he laughed. "Your enthusiasm is intoxicating me, Lils."

"Really, you think I'm ready?" she asked nervously, ignoring his joke.

"Yeah, really," he said, picking up on her emotions instantly and turning more serious. "Your spell range is much better than almost anyone else I know. We've researched, we've practiced, and you're a hundred times fitter than when we started," he answered confidently, his traitorous eyes briefly scanning her trim form. "I've taken you as far as I can on my own…. at least for now."

"Are you sure?" she asked apprehensively. "Really, really sure?"

"Yeah, I am," he confirmed, sending her an encouraging smile. "Besides, you need to start practicing with people other than me, people who use different techniques. No two duellers are the same, and whilst you might be able to beat me _occasionally_," he said, gaining a small grin from her, "you may have problems even _hitting_ someone who uses a different approach. We need to make sure you can adapt to anything and anyone."

Lily nodded, trusting his knowledge and advice, as always. "So, when are practices and what the procedure for getting me on the team?"

"Well, actually, you're in luck –" he sighed. "Sirius has been banned from taking part in any school organisations so—"

"What? _Why_?!" Lily interrupted quickly, unable to hide her complete astonishment. "That's one of the most serious punishments that can be given," she said, confused. She didn't like to think of what he must have done to receive such wrath from the cool, kind, and understanding Dumbledore

"That information is on a strictly need to know basis," he said grimly, "but let's just say he deserved it."

Shocked at the vehemence in his tone, and by the fact that he had obviously agreed with such a punishment for his best friend, Lily could only mumble, "Oh," before trying to move the subject along swiftly. "So why does Sirius's ban help me?"

"Well that'd be because I no longer have a second."

"A second?" She questioned with furrowed eyebrows.

"Yeah, see…" he hummed thoughtfully before trying to explain. "For every match, every dueller has to chose a team mate to be his second; the second takes care of all the preparations for a match, makes sure all the rules a adhered to, they give advice on weaknesses of the opponent and the appropriate spells to use, stuff like that and… well, the second is the person who steps in if the first is too incapacitated to continue."

"Oh," Lily said, surprise flicking across her face. "Does that – does that happen a lot?"

James grimaced. "Unfortunately, it happens all the time in national and international competitions. It's just part of the sport and one of the reasons why having women participate is such a controversial issue. Personally, though, I think it's rubbish, if women are willing to take the risk then who are we to stop them? Not to mention one of the best duellers I've ever seen is a woman—she's ranked in the top five in the world."

"Wow," Lily murmured. "Who is she? Do you think I might be able to get some more information about her in the library?" When he looked at her strangely, she shrugged. "Anything to help prepare me, right?"

"Yeah, but perhaps we can do one better than a book," he responded mysteriously, all the while giving her a look of approval for her obvious commitment. "I'm glad to hear you're so interested, no one should enter this sport lightly." He eyed her seriously as he redirected their conversation, before saying, "If you'd prefer, we could always find another way to prove your father wrong—how are you at Quidditch? It's dangerous too, just not in the same way."

Lily laughed and shook her head. "We've come _way_ too far to back out now. Besides, I'm fair at Quidditch and I love to play, but I'm not nearly good enough – and anyway, it won't get the point across to my father nearly as well. Plus, with the way things are in the world right now I think being a good dueller is going to benefit me more in the long run that being a good Quidditch player."

"Debatable," he joked before saying, "But okay, and I agree, I just had to make sure _you_ felt that way before we took that final step. Not to throw your own words back at you, but, as you said, 'once we do this there's not turning back.' Not to mention you need to be committed in this sport."

Lily nodded, not offended in the slightest. She was pleased he wanted to make sure she was happy and not being pushed into anything she didn't feel comfortable doing.

"What about school competitions—are there a lot of _incapacitations_ at those?" she asked hesitantly.

He shifted a little uncomfortably but gave her a straight answer. "It used to happen all the time in the school competitions, but the rules have been made stricter for the under eighteen groups now—too many people were getting hurt and parents started to complain."

"Okay," Lily said, feeling only mildly relieved by the information.

"Nevertheless, its still tradition to have a second and, well, to be honest –" he said, eyeing her carefully, wondering how to tell her the truth without scaring her.

"Yes," she prodded.

He decided to be straight forward. "To be honest, accidents still happen even with the new safety measures, especially in the Slytherin versus Gryffindor matches."

Lily gulped, but stared back at him stoically trying to prove herself worthy.

"So, I'm your second," she nodded firmly. "But doesn't that mean I won't get to duel?" she questioned, refusing to believe that anyone could beat the boy in front of her, that anyone was capable of incapacitating him. He was too good, and even if he did get knocked down his pride wouldn't allow him to stay down.

"That's very true, but you're not going to _just_ be my second—it's merely a way to introduce you to the team without raising too many eyebrows. I can say our families know each other and that I know you're more than capable. I've been refusing to replace Sirius, so the guys will probably just be so relieved I found someone that I'm willing to work with that they won't ask too many questions."

She nodded but couldn't help but ask, "Why didn't you replace him?"

"I refuse to have someone I don't know, and therefore can't trust, watching my back.I just can't function like that and everyone else on the team I feel I can work _well_ with is already paired."

"But you trust me?" she asked, flabbergasted.

"More than most," he replied seriously, his hazel gaze boring into hers..

And Lily, realising the implications of what he'd just told her, made a promise to herself to try her very best to never let him down.

"What about Remus and Peter? Why didn't you ever ask either of them?"

"Well Remus has…time commitment issues," James answered slowly and carefully. "He's often out sick and that can't happen in this sport. Peter has never shown an interest in competing, he's fair at duelling, but as I said before, you need to be committed and Peter's… not. Not many people _want_ to be duellers."

"Anyway, as my second you get an automatic spot on the team, we'll gradually introduce you as a dueller in your own right and, hopefully it should be smooth sailing from there."

Lily took a deep breath. "Okay."

"Are you still sure you want to do this?" he asked, eyeing her pale pallor worriedly.

"Yes," she replied strongly, berating herself for being nervous.

"Well, then, I best tell you the rules and show you the etiquette, can't have you looking like an idiot, can we?"

Lily shook her head, eyes wide. "Most definitely don't want to look like an idiot."

He smiled. "So how much do you know, have you ever seen a real duel?"

"Not much, and no," Lily answered sheepishly. "There's what we've done in Defence, but as a Muggleborn I've never seen a _proper_ duel before."

"Right, of course, sorry," he said, shaking his head at himself.

"Have you ever been to a live duel?" she asked interestedly. "You know, a real one, outside Hogwarts"

He shifted uncomfortably. "Yeah, my Mum's taken me to a few of the Nationals and one or two Internationals and…

"And?"

"And I've competed in a few under- eighteens."

"Really?" she asked surprised.

"Yeah, I won the national under- eighteens last year," he shrugged, trying not to show how embarrassed he suddenly felt.

"That's… that's… _how the hell did I not know that?" _

"You've never really shown much interest in duelling or… _me_ before this year," he mumbled uncomfortably, rubbing the back of his neck..

"But isn't that something that you would have--" she started incredulously before cutting her sentence short. "Never mind."

"Something I would have bragged about?"

"Well, yeah," she said, her face heating. "Sorry," she was quick to apologise.

He shook his head dismissing the apology. "It's fine, I _was_ an arrogant arse. But I told you, all that changed back in fifth year, and anyway it's not something I really wanted to spread, I get enough attention as it is. Can you imagine the Slytherins if they found out I'd lost a match? I'd never hear the end of it. Its too much pressure, people are watching me constantly anyway, so I'm not too keen on encouraging their curiosity."

Lily could only stare, speechless for a moment. "Wow, that's really amazing James. I had no idea. That's probably the one thing you _should_ be allowed to brag about," she said, briefly taking his hand and smiling proudly at him.

James coughed to hide his pleasure before changing back to the original subject.

He pointed his wand to the ground and used it to draw a long rectangle on the floor about twenty paces long and four paces wide.

"_This_," he started to explain, "is the main walk. It's the starting point for any duel. You meet your opponent in the middle where you cross your wand across you chest as you bow, you then turn and walk ten paces so you and your opponent are both at opposite ends."

He waved his hand, encouraging her to following his instructions as they bowed; he corrected the position of her hand slightly before they turned their backs on each other and walked ten paces.

"Okay," he carried on in a slightly louder voice so she could hear him. "Now you wait for the call to start; as a warning the umpire will call out 'make ready', which is when you raise your wand and assume the defensive stance." Again, he encouraged her to take the stance.

He opened his mouth to continue his instructions but then he hesitated, eyeing her seriously from across the distance of the room.

"What?" she asked worriedly.

James dropped his wand arm and walked towards her, before circling her critically.

"What?" she repeated looking down at herself with a furrowed brow.

"You've got a good natural stance, but your foot positioning is a little off. I hadn't noticed before because what we usually do is much more informal."

At her terrified look, he laughed. "Chill out, Lily, it's not a problem, everyone is different. Just in my experience, you have more balance if you put you left leg out just slightly further in front of you.

Trying to do as he suggested she nearly lost her balance, but James caught her arm before she could do more than wobble, and when Lily looked up at him she was pleased to see he wasn't laughing at her clumsiness. After he had steadied her, he kept one had on her shoulder and the other slid gently down her left leg encouraging it in to the correct position.

Both of them seemed to freeze when his hand came into contact with the small bit of skin exposed on her ankle, his hand lingered for a split second, his gaze met hers, and his eyes seemed to burn right through her. Lily's hand developed a mind of its own and before she had time to stop herself, she'd gently brushed her hand through his hair. The sudden wave of affection and attraction between them seemed to make the air sizzle. Just as Lily worked up enough courage to say something, James pulled his hand away as if he'd been burned.

Suddenly feeling embarrassed and exposed, Lily decided to pretend not to notice the tension in the room and instead tested the new stance, bouncing experimentally.

"See?" he eventually managed to say, trying to regain his teaching demeanour, although he couldn't hide the sudden deepness colouring his voice, but nevertheless watching her movements carefully.

"Yeah!" she replied, a little shocked at the difference it could make.

"Okay, so where were we?" he asked shaking his head at his own forgetfulness.

"Make ready?"

"Oh right, that's your warning call which is followed by 'fire' which is your cue to start duelling. Careful you don't misfire, though."

"Misfire?"

"Throwing your first spell before fire is called," he explained. "You'll lose points, and if you do it more than twice you forfeit–got it?"

"Got it," she confirmed.

"Okay, as far as the actual duel is concerned, the best places to aim for are the head and chest. In competition you get more points, and in real life it makes the effects stronger."

Lily loved how he didn't just teach her to duel competitively, but also taught her to look after herself, almost like he wanted to make sure it was true when she told her father she could protect herself. "Okay."

He drew a wide circle around his earlier rectangle. "The outer circle signifies the end of the protective shield; if you leave that area, it's an instant end to the match. Keep in mind, the minute you step your foot out of the shielding, you've lost the match."

"Inside protective circle good, outside bad–got it."

"Right. So that's it, really, as long as you knock your opponent down for a ten count."

Lily frowned. "Wait, so….so there's not a points system? All I've got to do is get him out of the ring like a sumo wrestler or get him to stay down like in boxing?"

James shrugged "_Technically _there's a really complicated points system, but at a junior level match…. that's normally all it takes to win."

"Oh, one more thing, if you're my second, should I get hurt and want to stop the fight, you have to raise your wand and yell stop. If either parties' second does that, then both duellers must take a step back away from their opponent. - the rule book is over there."

When Lily saw the large white tome poking out of the top of his bag, she paled.

James chuckled. "Don't worry. I don't expect you to memorise it or anything - although that may not be such a bad idea - but I want you to at least look through it, okay?"

Lily nodded, a little overwhelmed.

"Don't worry, Lils," James reassured. "I'll be _your_ second, so when you do have a match, I'll know all the rules, so you won't be left looking stupid because you don't know something."

"Okay," she breathed, feeling much more relaxed with the reassurance that James would be there.

"Lily, one more thing."

"Yeah?"

"People get knocked down all the time, be prepared for some bruises."

"I can handle it, James."

"Yeah. I know you can," said James softly, almost to himself. "But I don't have to like it," he mumbled, out of earshot, and took his place on the opposite side, ready to duel.

----

AN

So, didn't I tell you the update would come faster this time?!

By the way, here's a hint....Review because I think you are going to like the next chap...

For those of you have asked – Yes Lily will be meeting the Potters so here's another thing for you to vote on: Do you think Mrs Potter should like Lily instantly or would you like to see some conflict?

Thank you all for your reviews - I'm so happy you are all enjoying it – I can't believe I've broken the 300 mark – COME ON 400! Pretty please....

I have to give credit to Abok – she really helped with the chap especially with the first couple of paragraphs. Thank you!


	16. Shocking

A/N

If this chap doesn't make you review – I don't know what bloody will!

.....and you didn't even have to wait that long!

Drum roll please

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It wasn't just in the duelling that James and Lily had been successful. Apparently, they were now the hottest couple at school.

Girls nattered and swooned over how sweet and attentive the once infamous womanizer was, in awe of how he had changed for Lily. Blokes couldn't help but watch jealously as Lily gave James adoring looks and how, almost like clockwork, he would pull her out of the common room for 'private time', and she would follow him without hesitation.

They always walked to class together. They always ate together. In fact, they never seemed to be without each other, and they constantly seemed to be touching in some way or in some kind of deep conversation.

They spent so much time together that the two of them had become tuned, almost fluid, in their interactions with each other. They really were an amazing sight.

The relationship's positive effects were showing in their physiques as well. Lily suddenly started to look even more fit and healthy than normal, and James's constant smile enhanced what was already a handsome face.

And so it was that they were being hailed as the hottest couple in years.

But, with the praise also came the criticism and the doubters.

"I can't believe it, James," Catreena called out loudly to James, as he and Lily passed.

Hearing his name, James automatically stopped and faced the source of the voice. "Catreena," he greeted, a little coolly once he'd recognized its owner, "what can't you believe?" he asked with little to no interest.

Before she could answer, James felt Lily tug on his hand to get him moving. "Lils?" he started, casting Lily a bemused look. "What's the matter—"

"I can't believe how far you've stooped."

"Stooped?" James asked, sufficiently distracted by that bizarre pronouncement, staring at Catreena like she was from another planet.

"Yes, stooped… to _this_," she said gesturing vaguely at Lily, and in the process degrading her in front of a group of people that included a large proportion of Gryffindor house, some Slytherins, as well as James and Lily's closest friends.

James looked from Catreena to Lily in confusion.

"You could do so much better." Catreena whispered in his ear.

The shock of hearing her so close caused him to rip his gaze from Lily and turn towards Catreena, and when he did he found her inches from his face.

He took a smooth, yet hasty step back.

Finally cottoning on to Catreena's insinuation though, he was quick to grope behind him and put his hand firmly around Lily's forearm, using his grip to pull her back to his side. Once he knew she was firmly and safely settled, James felt a hot anger bubble up from within him as he cast his gaze around the group.

Noticing she had gained the attention of the entire hallway, he gave the horrible girl in front of him an acid stare. He couldn't believe she, of all people, 'the slut of Gryffindor', had the audacity to insult Lily in front of her friends and some of her enemies.

Lily had come to mean so much to him; she was his partner, his saviour, his best friend, and this little bitch was insulting her? She wasn't even worthy of breathing the same air. Catreena was just like all the others who'd used him, who tried to manipulate him…. Just like Mary.

And with that thought, he went from anger to outright hatred and judging by Catreena's wide eyes she knew she'd gone too far.

"James," Lily's calm voice intruded, "I don't care," she whispered in his ear as she laid a cool hand on the back of his neck.

Controlling his anger momentarily, he turned to face her and said softly "I do."

"Getting angry won't solve anything," she replied. When James still seemed hesitant, she pressed a soft kiss to his cheek and whispered, "Don't worry so much, even before you came into my life I could handle her, she means _nothing_."

He nodded, but decided that if he wasn't going to get angry he was certainly going to prove Catreena wrong. So he plastered the most adoring and loving look he could onto his face and turned to face Lily completely.

Despite her words, he could see humiliation in her eyes and he knew without having to be told that she wasn't humiliated because of the crowd, but because she thought Catreena might be right. The idea was so ludicrous he almost laughed.

Instead he grabbed her hand and pulled her into his arms, making sure to give her an encouraging squeeze. "It's her who's stooping," he said clearly before he leant down and tenderly kissed her cheek.

Catreena stuck her nose in the air, unmoved by the display and continued despite her shock at James's anger – she'd said too much now to back down gracefully. "That's all very _sweet,_ but I've never even seen you kiss her properly, only small little chicken pecks on the _cheek_, it's all very _cute,_ but there's no fire… what a _passionate_ relationship you must have," Catreena pointed out sarcastically turning towards Lily with a ugly look on her face.

At first, James had felt sure they'd be able to brush her comment aside, but when he saw the thoughtful looks on his friends' faces he knew they were in trouble.

Lily discreetly sent James an anxious look. He appeared cool and collected, but when she made eye contact she knew him well enough to be able to tell he was genuinely worried about being discovered.

"Just because _some _people like to make an exhibition of themselves doesn't mean everyone does!" Lily said scathingly, scrabbling to take the heat off her and James. "There are displays of affection and then there are _displays of affection,_" Lily said, poignantly. "Not everyone _wants_ people to see them when they're being intimate. I especially don't want people to see, if I look even remotely like you when you're _attacking_ your flavour of the month!"

Catreena's face scrunched up with hatred, but she retorted nonetheless, "That's the thing though, I've _never_ seen, I've never even _heard_ anyone _say_ they've caught you…_nothing_… just nothing. It must be horrible to know that your boyfriend finds you so unattractive, that he doesn't want to kiss you?" she said with mock sympathy.

Lily threw a distasteful glance at the superior looking Catreena. "Of course he wants to kiss me! Where do you think we disappear to in the evenings you moron, to do _homework_?" She chuckled nastily, sharing an ironic look with James. "And as far as never being caught is concerned, my boyfriend is a _Marauder_; I don't need to lower myself to making out in broom cupboard like a fourth year. He knows this school better than almost anyone else, and he respects me enough to go to the trouble of finding somewhere where we _won't_ be caught. What kind of slag do you have to be to _want_ to get caught anyway?"

Catreena didn't say anything more, but one glance around the group confirmed that the evil cow had planted the seed of doubt and the worst part was that she knew it too.

Lily hated the self-satisfied look on the horrible girl's face so much that she made an instant decision to do something that she knew would wipe that smug look right off of it.

The only warning she gave James was a wicked smile, right before she started stalking towards him like a tiger stalking her prey.

The only indication of surprise James gave was a slight raising of his eyebrow, knowing she was up to something, just unsure what, but after all of their training and time together he'd learned to trust her completely. So he stood, watching her approach with interest, waiting for her to make her next move.

Once she was less than a centimetre away, she threw one last remark over her shoulder. "Just because nobody knows the ins and outs of my private life doesn't mean I don't have one. But if you insist on proof, you can have it. Trust me when I say it's no chore to kiss _my_ boyfriend," she said, right before closing the gap between her and James and kissing him. _Properly_.

Both of them were shocked at just how quickly their bodies responded to the contact, both unable stop themselves from deepening the kiss. He opened his mouth to her and then right there in front of Merlin, their friends, and some passing students, Lily pushed her tongue inside, increasing the passion and intensity of their embrace.

She felt his arms wrap around her tightly, encompassing her small frame and she returned it by putting one arm round his neck and sliding her hand into his hair, pressing herself closer to him.

She felt James' chest rise suddenly with his quick intake of air as she continued to kiss him languidly, sinking into the wonderful feeling of his hot mouth on hers.

As the kiss progressed, she brought her hand down to rest on the exposed skin of his neck where the top few buttons of his shirt lay open, and she pressed the palm of her other hand over his fast beating heart.

Feeling its frantic pace and on some base-level recognising hers was beating just as fast, she pulled away ever so slightly so she could see his eyes; her gaze briefly flickered down to where her hand laid over his heart, before settling once again on his hazel orbs. She leaned forward pressing one more quick kiss to his lips, unable to stop her tongue from darting out to taste him again, if only briefly.

As she pulled away for a second time, his head followed her and she felt the hand that he had put on her waist the moment their lips had touched, start to tighten painfully on her hip.

She leaned to the side, rubbing her nose against the side of his face, before gently pressing her cheek to his. "Sorry, but I hate that girl," she whispered into his ear, still panting, still pressed so close to his body that she brushed his chest with every breath. "There was no bloody way I was going to let her get away with that."

"_Fuck_, Lily," he managed to croak so quietly only she could hear.

"Down boy," she joked, before she murmured, her breath caressing his ear, "People aren't always what they seem. You said it yourself, I look innocent, _but_…" she trailed off suggestively, tantalisingly running her hand over the soft exposed skin of his neck as she pulled her hand out of his shirt.

Successfully untangling herself from James, Lily took one look at Catreena's pale face and felt the sweetest feeling of triumph rise up in her. Then smirking first at James, and then to the group at large, she excused herself to finish her homework.

Leaving a group of shocked people in her wake.

--

The moment she had turned a corner and was out of sight of the group, she stopped and leaned all her weight against the nearest wall, and slowly sank to the floor, unable to keep standing on her shaky legs.

Her eyes wide, breaths coming in short gasps, and her heart going a mile a minute, she brought her hand up and pressed it against her lips, trying to steady herself

_Fuck,_ that had been intense.

She'd kissed James Potter for the _first time_.

She kissed James Potter for the first time _in front of a large group of people_.

She'd kissed James Potter for the first time in front of a large group of people and… _she'd loved it_.

That was not supposed to happen.


	17. Reaction

AN

Well the kissing chap when down very nicely indeed - its the best response I've ever gotten - but I suppose that's what happens when you build tension like I have and then don't let it culminate to anything until the 16th chap - not that its going to be happening again for a little while Mwhahahahaaaa

I wrote this chap because I thought if I didn't write something like the below some loyal readers may have abandoned me.... but I was told to warn you all that this is a VERY short chapter and it wasn't in my original plan.

Now I want you all to be very nice to abok because she made some major additions to this chap and helped to make it what it is. Thank you abok!

Review!

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James stared numbly in the direction that Lily had disappeared.

_Well__, that certainly doesn't happen everyday,_ he thought to himself, shock still lancing trough his system.

He couldn't _believe_ Lily had actually done it. She just strode up to him, calm as you please, and put her tongue in his mouth. It had been so smooth and effortless that it was almost like they really did snog each other's brains out every day.

It had been a truly flawless kiss. A masterpiece. So convincing that even their audience seemed to have felt the tension.

And as amazing as it was, he had to admit that he wasn't particularly surprised about it.

He had always known that given the opportunity, they could have some real chemistry together. The last few months of their almost faultless performance as a couple had proved that. It had been almost too easy for them to slip into a close relationship.

Despite that though, he realised that even his vivid imagination hadn't been able to dream up a kiss like that; he hadn't known that her lips on his would feel like _that_. During that kiss, he had felt like nothing else mattered except getting as close to her as he possibly could.

No one had ever made him feel so single minded, whether he'd been kissing them or doing…. _other things_. He'd never quite been able to commit himself entirely to the moment. He should have known it would be different with Lily.

Just now, it was if they had been completely alone in that corridor sharing a private moment, not snogging as if their very lives depended on it for all to see. There had been such a connection, such an intimacy between them in that one amazing kiss, that James was left to wonder how he had managed to restrain himself at all and not completely lose control..

He was angry with Catreena for making Lily feel insignificant, but a small part of himself couldn't help but want to hug her, because now he knew exactly what it was like to kiss Lily, no more guessing or imagining. It had gone so far beyond his expectations-- it was better than any kiss he'd ever had, which brought up a whole new range of questions about when and more importantly _who_ Lily had been kissing.

And unfortunately, aside from his new worries about her past experiences, this new development put them on dangerous ground as far as their odd friendship-relationship was concerned.

James knew Lily's body language well enough to know that she had felt the sparks too. After all, no one could completely fake a kiss like that. But he also knew, had a deep innate sense, that before now she hadn't realised that the chemistry between them was quite that strong.

He'd suspected for a while that things were developing between them, and that given the opportunity they could be really happy together. But he also suspected that Lily hadn't accepted that fact yet. She had buried the idea deep behind the lies of their own making. She had convinced herself that their interactions and reactions were all part of the plan, and until she decided that what she felt - what he hoped she felt - was real, then nothing was ever going to develop between them.

And he knew to the depths of his soul that, no matter what she had just felt, she was not going to acknowledge that kiss for what it really was. She was going to cover it up and explain it away as a defence mechanism for dealing with Catreena. She would rationalise that it was just another stage in the lie that they had created.

Or worse, pretend it had never happened.

He wanted to be angry at her, but he knew he couldn't really blame her. Even he wasn't sure where the lie ended and his real feelings began anymore. But he knew that he'd always been fascinated with her, attracted to her, enthralled by her. And he was so bloody close to getting what he had wanted for years that he couldn't help but release an almost pitiful sigh. And with his exhalation of breath the real world came back into sharp focus.

And surrounding him there was……silence. A shocked silence.

Proving his assumption that he wasn't the only one who'd felt the passion between them

He almost wanted to laugh because of the stunned silence that Lily Evans had left in her wake. He was so proud of her that it was adding a whole other layer to the feelings currently charging around his body.

Finally managing to tear his eyes away from the spot where she'd vanished, James cast his eyes around the assembled group still trying desperately to make sense of what had just happened. He was also desperately trying not to smile like an absolute fool, knowing that he should look like he was used to getting kisses like that from her all the time.

So to distract himself from both the butterflies in his stomach and the sudden tightness in his trousers, he surveyed the surrounding group. He noted that Sirius looked disgusted but on the verge of hilarity. Remus looked shocked, and Peter was so red James would have been worried about him, if he hadn't had issues of his own to contend with. But the sweetest expression of all was on Catreena's face, and James was gleeful to see she was looking decidedly pale.

Other than feeling an overwhelming pride that Lily had managed to put Catreena in her place, James found he didn't know whether to laugh, cry, or leave the whole bloody lot of them and chase Lily down. In fact, he was amazed at his self-control so far. It was only with a supreme feat of will that his feet remained planted where they were.

He couldn't go chasing after her like it was the first kiss she'd ever given him. Even if he did, he knew what her reaction would be, and he wasn't sure he was quite ready for that conversation yet. Besides, they really didn't need that kind of awkwardness between them right now.

"Well that was certainly interesting," Sirius said gaily, finally breaking the tense silence. "That's some real sexual chemistry you two have going on!" he continued, sending James a lecherous wink.

James punched Sirius on the shoulder, trying to fight the mild blush he could feel staining his cheeks.

"Yeah no wonder you're always ditching us for her." Remus said, shaking himself and finally managing to smile. "Can't say I ever want to have to watch it again though…"

James grunted, listening to his friends with half an ear, while using the rest of his energy to continue to fight the war between his feet and his mind.

Some desperate part inside of him couldn't bear the idea of leaving things as they were, it went against his nature not to hunt Lily down and force her to deal with the consequence of that kiss and the feelings surrounding it. But he knew if he pushed now, he would panic her and the results would most likely devastate them both.

Just as James' body was convincing him to fuck the consequence and chase after Lily, Catreena

finally seemed to come out of her stupor drawing herself up and opening her mouth to speak.

Noticing her movement, James was distracted and couldn't help but turn irate eyes on her. "Watch it Catreena, I'm the wrong person to be around if you're going to bad mouth Lily. In fact, I suggest you leave. _Now_."

When Catreena looked like she was going to continue despite his warning, James sent her a filthy look and rumbled, "Lily may not care about what you have to say, but I care about her and she's not here to stop me anymore. So try to marshal some of your extremely rare common sense and bugger off, before I get really pissed off."

Catreena's eyes widened at the threat, and after a moment full of shock and hesitation, she wisely decided to saunter off.

When James turned back to his friends he found them all staring incredulously, and he could help but snap defensively, "_What?"_

"Nothing, just never seen you be that mean to Catreena before," Remus shrugged uneasily. "Sparks even came out of your wand."

James looked down at his hand, shock filling him when he discovered that he'd reached for his wand without even noticing.

"I've rarely seen you move so fast outside of a competition."

James frowned and couldn't help but acknowledge to himself that perhaps practicing with Lily wasn't just benefitting her.

True to form and reading his best mate like a book, Sirius waved the whole issue off with a dismissive hand. "Man, Prongs, you know I never really understood why you liked Lily so much. Don't get me wrong, she's a great bird, but I always thought you two were too different to really make a go of it. But I officially stand corrected." Sirius smacked James on the shoulder. "Man, if I'd known she could be _that_ passionate I may have given her a go myself!" He grinned broadly.

But his smile quickly faded when he saw James' expression, and heard what was unmistakably a growl come from his best friend.

"Merlin, James!" Sirius said holding up his hands in surrender "I was only joking!"

"We'll just be going now," interjected Remus quickly, ushering both Peter and Sirius out of James's way and dodging the glare that he was giving them.

"See you, Prongs," muttered Sirius, brushing past him and quietly shaking his head at the realization that James was about as far gone as you could get.

James sighed and pocketed his wand. He walked over and leaned against the wall, scrubbing his hand down his face as he again tried to process the ramifications of the kiss.

Just how in the hell was he supposed to act with Lily now? How could he pretend that he wasn't completely blown away by what had happened between them?

And more importantly, how could he hold himself in check now that he knew what it was like to be so close to her? How could he even be around her without recalling exactly how it felt to have her pressed tightly against him, her mouth moving hungrily over his?

He sighed deeply and tried to get _that_ particular image out of his mind. It would do him no good to dwell on it, especially right now. He needed to sort through this and figure out a way to be around Lily without causing awkwardness between them.

James was certain of only one thing. It would take every bit of restraint and willpower he possessed not to pin Lily against the wall and to pick up right where they left off today. And deep down, he couldn't help but think, well _hope,_ actually, that she might be off somewhere right now, struggling with the exact same questions he was.

And that thought, at least, made him smile.


	18. Disguises

A/N

It only took a week this time! Unfortunately the next update is not going to be as quick – mainly because I kinda need to write it…. and I'm working on another little something-something that's starting to look suspiciously like another major multi chap so…

For those who asked about the trip to the Potters – It WILL happen – have no fear.

Thank you for all your wonderful reviews (I can't believe I might hit 500! It's so exciting and I feel extremely honoured).

I hope you enjoy

-----

Lily was waiting nervously in the now very familiar tower room, her foot tapping erratically against the stone floor.

Tonight was the night they would try out her disguise before she went to her first practice in a few days. She was absolutely terrified about what James had planned and whether it would work.

Tonight was also the first time she would see James since their kiss.

That reminder sent Lily's hand tapping along with her foot.

She'd been avoiding him, trying to make sense of everything that had happened between them. Trying to decipher the new funny feeling she had in her stomach whenever she thought about him or the kiss that now haunted her.

Just then James entered the room with his normal enthusiasm, pulling her out of her reverie and making her jump. She braced herself for what he had to say, her body as tense as a spring, but the conversation never came. Instead, she merely watched, confused, as he started pulling clothes and potions out of the bag he'd had slung over his shoulder.

She stared at his back for a second as he continued to rummage and considered bringing the issue up herself when James turned around and pushed a bottle into her hands, distracting her completely.

"Is this… is this a cosmetic potion?" she asked, after taking a good look at the item in her hand.

"Of course," James said, looking at her strangely. "What did you think I was going to bring – polyjuice or a transgender potion? I think that would be taking it a bit far – not to mention that, when duelling, you have to learn to use your _own_ body. If it's not actually _your_ body you're using you'll never be any good. And we need you to be good."

"I guess that makes sense… so what are we going to do?—Where do we start?" Lily asked, getting wrapped up in the plan and deciding to follow his example and forget about their other problems. For now, anyway.

"We're going to cut your hair."

That announcement cut right through any other lingering worries. "Cut it?! No, you bloody well are not!" she cried out taking a few hasty steps back.

He laughed at her outrage and her suddenly green looking complexion. "Don't worry, Lily." He said grabbing her hand and pulling her back towards him "See this potion here?" He held up a square glass bottle with a red potion in it.

"Yeah," she answered, eyeing the bottle warily as he dropped her hand.

"Don't you recognise it, oh potions guru?"

She took a closer look and stepped into his personal space without a second thought. After a moment, she acknowledged, "Yeah, it's a variation of hair growth potion."

With Lily in such close proximity that he could actually feel her body heat, James only just managed to prevent himself from reaching out and grabbing her to him. "Ah, but not just any hair growth potion," he corrected eventually when he'd gained control of the urge, raising a finger in the air. "If you drink it with one of your original hairs in it, it will return your hair to exactly the same way it was before you cut it."

"That's amazing!" Lily looked up into his face with wide, eager eyes.

"Yeah," James coughed uncomfortably, even as he stared right back "Aurors use it a lot when they go undercover and hairdressers use it all the time, too."

"Aurors and _hairdressers_, really? And how would you know that?" she laughed, finally realising how close she was and taking a step away from James.

James covered his disappointment and said, "Well, as you know, my dad's an Auror _and…"_ he hesitated.

"And?…"

"The family hairdresser uses it – she's always doing strange things to her hair and then changing her mind," he shrugged uncomfortably.

In the interest of the plan, Lily took pity on James and didn't comment, instead storing the information for a later date and only asking, "How does it work?"

He brightened at that, and pulled the cork out of the top of the bottle and poured some of its contents into a goblet he'd stolen at dinner. He put one of his own messy strands of hair into the concoction, before turning his own wand on himself and performing the razor charm, effectively cutting off all his hair.

Lily stood silent, staring at the bald boy in front of her right before she fell about laughing.

"Oh goodness." She wheezed one hand clutching her side, the other reaching up to run over the short prickly hairs now covering James head. "What the hell do you _look_ like?"

She managed to say as she looked up at him through tears of mirth.

He grinned back at her foolishly, taking delight in her touch and her hilarity, right before taking a swig of the potion and his hair grew back right before her eyes.

"Why'd you do that?" she asked, valiantly trying to recover from her giggles.

"Do what?" he asked.

"Cut your hair, you looked awful!"

"Thanks," he drawled still grinning before he turned serious. "I knew you wouldn't be too keen on using it without proof that it works, and this way, if I'd cocked the potion up, _I_ would be the one who had to walk around looking like an idiot, not you."

She smiled at him gratefully, feeling a tug in her heart at how thoughtful he was, before chuckling out, "Thanks, but next time warn me so I can get a photo!"

"Sure," he grinned.

"So," she asked nervously after taking another few moments to contain herself. "Shall we try it on me?"

"That's the whole point, I'm afraid," he said, noticing her hesitance. "Facing the Great Hall on the first day of our 'relationship' doesn't seem quite so daunting anymore, eh?"

"No," Lily chuckled weakly, absently twirling a lock of her long beautiful red hair around her finger. "Not so bad at all."

"Don't worry, Lily, I would never do anything to destroy that beautiful hair of yours," James reassured, as he too grasped a lock of her hair and tugged gently.

She looked up at him quickly after he'd said that, and when she saw he was being completely serious, she nodded. Then, without any more hesitation, she plucked a long red strand out of her head and picked up the second goblet James had filled with the red potion. She looked to him quickly for confirmation that it was the right thing. As soon as he nodded, she placed her hair in the goblet. She then turned to him, bravely saying, "Well, what are you waiting for, get cutting!"

"You want _me_ to do it?" he asked wearily.

"I don't have the will power or the strength to do it on myself," she retorted, rolling her eyes. "_and_ I'd probably end up taking off my eyebrows instead."

"How do you want it?" he asked, knowing that she was in no mood to debate with him. He knew this was going to be difficult for her.

"How the hell would I know, Potter?" she said, her voice betraying her bravado by trembling a little. "I'm not actually a boy—you decide, _I trust you_."

James still couldn't seem to get used to hearing her say that she trusted him, no matter how much she said it or acted like it. He ignored the swooping feeling in his stomach and flicked his wand once, giving her a haircut reminiscent of Sirius's, not too short, but rather long and a little bit shaggy. He decided it was best to keep it longer, after all, he didn't want her to have a heart attack when she saw herself.

When he announced he was done, Lily kept her eyes clenched closed and said, "Could you please make sure the hair you cut off has been cleaned away before I open my eyes? Because otherwise, I think I might be sick."

He snorted before waving his wand a second time and complying with her wishes.

She opened her eyes slowly and scanned the floor around her warily, finding it clear of her auburn locks. She gave a relieved sigh. "Okay, so what else?"

"Well, the rest are just charms and transfiguration." He shrugged casually.

"Really?" she asked, intrigued now that the hair mutilation portion of the evening was over.

"Yeah, I don't want to do anything too extreme or permanent because you still have to be _you_ in lessons and such. So we need to keep this as simple and easy to undo as possible."

"Okay," she agreed, her frayed nerves eased by James's confidence.

"We'll charm your hair a different colour since yours is too unusual. People would ask awkward questions if we leave it the way it is."

"Okay," she said, finding herself unable to come up with any other responses, way too overwhelmed to be able to access her full vocabulary.

"Same goes for your eyes," he continued. "I'm thinking we should make both your hair and eyes brown. We'll also tan your skin a little. We're trying to make you as nondescript as possible. We don't want people to question you too much, at least not until the final tournament."

"That can be done?" she asked, expanding her responses to half sentences.

He nodded and she suddenly grinned. "Is that another little tidbit from your hairdresser, Potter?"

"Shut up," he said good-naturedly. "My mum always has to do this stuff for ministry functions, award ceremonies, and such. Sometimes, the only time where she'll sit still long enough to have a proper conversation is when she's preparing to go out. When I was little I always used to keep her company." He shrugged.

Hearing that, Lily's smile changed from a mocking one to a fond one. "That's sweet… and a little sad."

"Nah, I'm good. I – I love that time with her." He laughed exasperatedly "It's one of the few times during her day where she's actually _relaxed_. Don't worry though, Evans, I'm not a neglected child or a lonely one, just one whose parents work really hard," he finished, having been transfiguring her the whole time he'd been talking, even adjusting her nose a little after he'd decided it was too feminine.

"Isn't this taking a little too long?" she asked worriedly as he concentrated.

"It always takes a while to sort out a disguise for the first time, but once you know what you want to look like, it takes no time at all to do," he assured her.

"I'm not even going to ask why you know that." Lily sighed.

"That's probably best." James mumbled as he focused.

He paused as he scanned her face critically before nodding to himself. "I think that's good. So, moving on to your body…"

"My what?" she asked, crossing her arms in front of her, suddenly defensive.

"Don't be shy, Lily, you've got a great body, but it's most definitely a girl's!" James couldn't help himself from glancing over her form, but seeing her slight blush, he quickly looked away.

Lily recovered herself quickly and managed to say, "So what do you want to do?—There's no way I'm letting you transfigure my body, by potion or by wand. No matter how good you are, that's _really_ complicated magic!"

He held up his hands defensively, his wand hanging loosely from his fingers. "I wouldn't feel comfortable anyway. I was thinking we could just do it the Muggle way."

"Oh, and what's that?" she asked, suddenly interested again instead of afraid.

"Bindings and slightly baggy clothes," he answered promptly. "You've got a slim frame anyway, so it should be too hard to disguise your ummm… assets . In an ideal world, I wouldn't suggest you wear anything too loose , it can get in the way, but other competitors do it all the time. So it is doable, it's just not…ideal," he added.

The whole time James had been talking, Lily had been changing behind a conjured screen, and James was valiantly trying to ignore that fact. Just as he finished his sentence, she came back out in to view. "Okay."

"Whoa!" James said almost speechless.

"What?!" Lily asked frantically. "Did it not work?"

"It's not that," he said with great difficulty. "I think it worked a little too well!" he finished, positioning her in front of a conjured mirror.

Lily stared in shock, unable to recognize the person in front of her. She couldn't help but whisper as she peered intently in to her now brown eyes. "Wow, you really have thought this through, haven't you? I still look a little feminine but –"

Having regained his senses, James was quick to respond, scoffing incredulously. "What, you think I'd transform you into a boy on a _whim_ – I've been considering how to go about this since I first mentioned it!"

"Well, no, I guess not. You never do anything without being well prepared."

"Thanks," he smiled. "But we're not quite finished yet…"

"Really, what else is there?!"

"Well, your voice, for one," he answered, chucking a green potion in a round bottle at Lily. "It won't alter it much, just by an octave or two, but it should be enough to sufficiently disguise your voice and make you sound like a boy. But be careful, that potion doesn't have an antidote. It wears off on its own after an hour and a half, or if you have a drink, whichever comes first."

"Okay," she said, testing it.

Hearing the change in her voice, James couldn't help but admit, "You have no idea how weird this is!"

"Wanna bet?" she scoffed incredulously. "I'm the one who's transformed everything about herself; I've been looking at the same face for almost seventeen years, and now look at it!"

He chuckled. "Yeah, sorry. If I'm a little freaked out, you must be bordering on insanity."

Lily could do nothing but nod. "That's a bit of an understatement."

"Okay, the last thing…"

"Good," Lily admitted. "I'm starting to feel really overstretched here."

"I know," he nodded sympathetically. "This would be a lot for anyone to take in."

"So what's the last thing?"

"We need to think of a name, a year— your cover story."

"Oh, _shit_, I hadn't even thought about that!" she said, almost hitting herself.

"Understandable, there's a lot going on for both of us at the moment – but that's why you've got me!" he told her brightly. "You have to be a Gryffindor, obviously, otherwise you can't be on the team, but I was thinking you should pretend to be a fifth year."

"What, _why_?"

"You're way too small and young looking to pass off as a seventh year boy. All the guys on the team would recognise you anyway if you were our age. No one on the team is a fifth year so we _should_ be able to pull it off quite convincingly and without the team asking too many questions."

"What? Surly they're going to wonder why they've never noticed me around before?"

He shrugged "The older boys rarely notice anything past how good you are. The other house teams won't think anything of it if we add a fifth boy, not until it's too late. And when its time for you to actually compete in the tournament, it won't matter if people start asking questions… we want them to know it's you… _just not now_. You'd be mobbed and more importantly _attacked_ left, right and centre if you're discovered too soon. We want you free to practice without problems."

Lily didn't want to think about what would happen if she was exposed too soon and so instead asked "Why no fifth years?"

"A bunch of reasons – normally, though, they just aren't good enough or developed enough. Only the odd few are."

"Like you?" she questioned, vaguely remembering the school wide awe when he'd made the team in fifth year.

"Yeah," he said, fidgeting a little self-consciously. "But because I did it in fifth people won't think too much of you doing it, hopefully..."

Knowing she didn't have a choice and was going to have to risk it in any event she just asked "What about the younger years?"

"Oh, well, there are a few fourth years who have some real potential that train with us. We've got to keep a new influx of kids. Need to train them up early so the team stays decent in the years to come, but the majority of the competing team at the moment are sixth and seventh years."

"Oh," she responded before sighing, "Are we done now?"

James chuckled, and Lily groaned with relief, as he pointed his wand at her and started to remove his handiwork and passed her the potion to restore her hair. She swallowed it quickly, eager to return to her original appearance.

"Yeah, except you need a name," he said. "I was thinking Evan – it sounds enough like your surname that you shouldn't have too much trouble remembering to respond to it."

Lily nodded right before he pressed his bag to her chest containing everything she would need. "There should be enough of everything in there to last you until the tournament and you've got the picture of the final transfiguration and the list of instructions – you are sure you can do it yourself, aren't you?" He looked at her nervously.

"Yeah, I'm sure…" Lily said, casting another glace at the mirror to make certain she'd returned to normal. "I'll make sure to practice and by the next training session I'll be able to do it myself, but you'll help me the first time, won't you?" Seeing his anxious look, she said, "Don't worry, none of it is stuff I haven't done before. I've just never had a _use_ for it before. I'm worried I'll mess it up the first time. I have the suspicious feeling I'm going to be extremely nervous."

"Okay," he sighed in understanding, wrapping his arm around her comfortingly and escorting her through the door to the staircase, steering her in the direction of the common room.

After a few hallways of semi-comfortable silence, Lily finally decided to speak up. "James?" She glanced up at him tentatively.

"Yes?" he hummed.

"Don't…don't you want to talk about it?" she finally asked quietly, as they made their way through more deserted hallways.

"Talk about what?" James asked without looking at her, resisting the urge to hold his breath and hoping he sounded nonchalant.

"_James_!" she groaned. "I'm embarrassed enough as it is…are you really going to make me say it?"

Briefly James turned to her with a confused expression on his face, even though inside his heart was hammering, "I'm sorry, Lily, I don't want to embarrass you, but I'm afraid I really have no idea what you're talking about." He hated to make her uncomfortable, but he needed to hear her ask, so he could assess what it was she wanted from him.

The fact that her kiss had made so little impact on him that he couldn't even _remember_ it had happened, stung Lily a little—or, if she were being honest with herself, _a lot_.

"The kiss," she whispered hoarsely. "I'm talking about our very _passionate_, very _public_ kiss."

"Ah, yes…._the kiss_," he chuckled, even as his heart rate increased further. He searched the side of her face for a few moments as they walked, his brow furrowing in uncertainty.

Just as he was about to turn her towards him, she spoke. "You're laughing?" she asked cautiously. "You're not angry?"

"Angry?" he repeated, caught off guard. Especially seeing as _that_ assessment was so far from the truth it was almost comical.

"Oh, Merlin you are! I know we agreed on no kissing – I'm so sor—"

"Lily?" James gained the strength to interrupt through his disappointment. "You think I'd be angry about being thoroughly kissed by a very beautiful girl in front of my peers?"

"Well… yeah," Lily ventured to say, a little confused by his reaction.

"No!" James forced a casual laugh, incredulous that she could even think such a thing. "You're joking, right? You just added like a million cool points to my rep!" he smiled, unable to stop himself from brushing his hand over her burning cheek.

"Cool points?" Lily laughed, rolling her eyes, trying to ignore what his touch was doing to her.

"Yeah," he answered before asking, "Why are you embarrassed?" He hesitated before continuing, "It worked and it was great, wasn't it?"

"Yes, it really was," she sighed, wrapping her arm around his waist affectionately before they continued their stroll back to the common room.

"No need to sound so surprised," he said sardonically.

Lily shook her head at him. "_Idiot,_" she said fondly. "Still, I'm sorry for just attacking you like that."

"Nah, don't be, I would have done something like that myself if I'd know you'd be willing… _and_ if I'd had the bollocks. That was gutsy." He flashed her a wicked grin.

She blushed again.

"You really are an odd one, Lily Evans," he said, noticing that his words were making her even more embarrassed. How could she not know how incredibly attractive it was that she had taken charge of their kiss? How could she not have noticed his body's response to her? He stopped them both giving her a small smile as he stepped toward her, raising her chin with his finger. He couldn't resist leaning down and gently brushing his lips over hers. "_There_, we're almost even now," he whispered.

"Almost?" Lily managed to question through her shock and the tingles racing over her lips.

"Of course," James nodded seriously. "The kiss was no chore at all," he told her matter-of-factly, stepping away from her slightly. He ran a hand through his hair as he shook his head at her. "But, damn, Lily, how could you do that and just leave me standing there with all those people? That was _so_ evil. All I could do was gape after you just like everyone else!"

"Well Catreena –"

"Who cares about her? I hope she gets a horrible disease, nasty little piece of work…" he said, frowning.

Lily smiled and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For being so understanding about everything."

"It's fine, but what I really want to know is where the hell you learned to kiss like that?!" he demanded, wagging a finger in her face as she laughed, adding wistfully in his head,... _and if I'll ever get to experience it again_.


	19. Prove Yourself

It's tragic! My Betas went MIA!

Which is _one_ of the reasons you all had to wait so long - I was just about to post anyway (mistakes and all) when Cosmopolitan returned from her much deserved holiday and volia we have a beta'd chap!

I would like to take a moment though to say thanks and bye to abok as she has decided she can no longer provide her services – she really is brilliant and I will miss her comments.

I have the next chap almost ready if that is any kind of inducement for you to forgive me for the delay!

That's enough waffle for now - I think you've waited long enough

Thanks for your patience and thanks for coming back to read – please review.

---

"Oh Merlin, Oh Merlin, Oh Merlin."

"You do realise you're talking out loud, don't you?" James asked dryly as he and Lily walked towards her first Gryffindor duelling club meeting. Their pace had been rather slow so far, mainly because Lily kept stopping every few feet so that she could take a few deep breaths to calm her nerves. James didn't mind, he was in no rush and he knew her well enough to know that once she was actually there all her nerves would be forgotten. Still he was amazed to see her react like this, she was usually so composed.

Noticing his amused smile Lily threw him a dirty look, despite the flying dragons rampaging in her stomach, but didn't even pause in her mantra of: "Oh Merlin, Oh Merlin, Oh Merlin."

James finally sighed, half amused and half worried. "Stop it Lily," he said, instinctively reaching out to take her hand comfortingly. He stopped walking and used his grip to turn her to face him. The moment they were looking at each other he promptly released her hand as if it were on fire. "_Shit_. I'm still not used to seeing you like that."

Lily scoffed. "Yeah, coz' this is just a normal, run of the mill kind of thing for me. I feel _just dandy_."

James smile sheepishly. "Yeah, sorry. You're the one who has to walk around like that; I'm just the one who has to watch. Although, just for the record I think I may be scarred for life. "

Lily glared at him. "Er, this was your idea remember? Comments like that are not helpful."

James shrugged apologetically and Lily shook her head choosing change the subject slightly. "We're going to have to be really careful."

"Careful of what?"

"Careful not to show affection when I'm like this," she clarified, spreading her arms wide and indicating her appearance sarcastically.

James eyed her uncomfortably "It's definitely _not_ going to be a problem if I'm facing you."

Lily glared at him before she suddenly smiled, "I could hit you," she said raising a fist threateningly, "You know every time you reach for me?"

James narrowed his eyes. "Good to know you'd jump at the chance to batter me, but it's not going to work. Plus imagine what that would look like if the team saw you hitting me every five minutes, they'd either think you had anger management issues or that I was turning in to a pansy because I was letting you hit me without retaliation. I don't know whether you've noticed, but I don't normally let people push me around," he paused thoughtfully, "although I seem to have developed a bit of a weak spot where you're concerned."

"Damn," Lily said, looking momentarily crestfallen though silently she felt tingles at the knowledge that he had a 'weak spot' for her.

"I didn't realise how difficult this was going to be," James continued, "I'd never really thought about it, but because of our deal I'm going to be spending half my life purposefully trying to touch you whenever I can and the other half purposefully trying to stop myself."

Lily groaned. "I hadn't thought about it like that either."

James patted her shoulder timidly trying to ignore what she looked like and be supportive. "We'll manage."

Lily scoffed at his pathetic attempt and then smiled when she saw the unease etched on his face. Deliberately, she kept moving closer to him until he started to shift uneasily.

He tried valiantly not to let it bother him but when Lily ran her hand along his arm, he couldn't suppress a shudder. "Stop it," he growled trying to dodge her misbehaving hands.

Giggling Lily finally stepped back. "Don't worry; we knew this was going to be difficult. It's just going to take a little getting used to."

"Yeah, I know" sighed James, "but sometimes I wonder what we might have gotten ourselves into?"

"Me too," Lily nodded, glancing down at herself wryly.

"Back to the problem at hand, though," James said, straightening. "Stop being nervous, you are a fantastic dueller."

"But that's with you. I'm used to you; I'm comfortable with you…. I trust you. These boys are going to have it out for me."

"Don't think about it. Just do what we do in practice and you'll have them on side within minutes. As long as you've got talent and dedication they'll respect you."

"Okay," Lily nodded.

"Are you okay now?"

"No, but let's get this done. Standing in the corridor isn't going to make it any better so let's do it."

"There's my Evans!" James said with a smile and cheeky chuck on her chin with his fist.

"Shut up," Lily said, knocking an elbow gently into his ribs.

When they finally reached the room the team held practice in Lily reached out to open the door, but right before she turned the handle James put his hand on her shoulder so she would momentarily halt her movements. "I've got your back…always, you know that, right?"

Lily reached up and rested her hand on top of his and briefly squeezed. "I know," she said, simply, "and I've got yours."

James didn't answer, but Lily distinctly heard him mumbled something along the lines of "_I'm never going to get used to you looking like that_."

"I should hope not," she threw over her shoulder as she confidently swung the door open.

All noise halted as the door loudly hit the wall.

"Smooth, Lily," James whispered to her before he stepped around her effectively drawing the focus away from her.

"Evan," she hissed back pinching his arm as he passed.

James smirked at her, but Lily took satisfaction from the fact that he'd now deliberately moved out of arms reach.

"OKAY," shouted James, despite the quiet in the room. "Everyone gather round," he commanded. "I would like to introduce you to Evan." A circle of intimidating boys quickly formed around Lily and James, some of them mumbling friendly greetings and some of them just staring curiously. Before any of them had a chance to ask any questions James announced: "and he'll be my second."

There was a blissful moment of silence before the uproar commenced.

"Second?"

"You finally picked a second?!"

"What do we even know about the little pip squeak?" someone asked with hostility lacing his tone.

"Hey!" Lily frowned in the direction of the voice.

James cut off Lily's protest, the rest of the team falling silent instantly. "He's a friend of the family and I want him as my second," he stated, indicating there was no room for argument.

"We're a team and we should make decisions together," someone mentioned from somewhere to the right.

"Are you really complaining?" asked Gideon, his familiar face and bright ginger hair making him stand out in the crowd. "We've been begging James for almost a year to pick a replacement for Sirius and he's refused based on the fact there isn't anyone he trusts enough. He's finally found someone who meets his high standards. I say we should just be relieved and get back to work."

"Here, here," mumbled a few voices.

Brandon suddenly appeared from behind a young dark haired boy that Lily didn't recognise, and he was having none of it. "I still say we need to see what he's made of," the moment he spoke Lily knew he was the one who had called her a pipsqueak.

She wasn't surprised the insult had come from him though. After their argument James had warned Lily about Brandon and the fact he believed he should have been captain. Lily was surprised, however, to see such an open defiance. She couldn't imagine anyone believing James shouldn't be captain, and she couldn't imagine anyone being more worthy, especially not this idiot stood in front of her. Lily felt pride and protectiveness well inside her and decided that if Brandon didn't shut up soon she might just have to hurt him.

"That's enough" James bellowed over the sudden chorus of his teammates voices, most of whom were telling Brandon to shut his mouth endearing themselves to Lily "I'm captain."

Brandon scoffed.

James's body tensed and he turned to face Brandon as he said, coldly, "Don't you dare undermine my authority, Marshall."

Lily had never seen James so commanding; he was always so calm and patient with her. She also detected anger in his voice, but on this occasion she believed Brandon deserved it. She hated that it was because of his favour to her that he had to put up with this; it had only been two minutes at most for goodness sake and already she was causing problems within his team.

"That's fine," Lily finally interrupted in her manly voice before James could become really riled.

"Excuse you?" asked the obnoxiously loud Brandon.

"I said that's fine. You need to see what I can do before you'll accept me. I don't want life to be difficult and I love to duel. I don't need your snide shit for the rest of the year so that's fine, how about I duel _you_ to….prove myself?"

The rest of the group looked at Lily as if she'd lost her mind.

"Mate, that may not be the best decision," said the dark haired boy she hadn't recognised earlier, "the only person who can beat Brandon, is James – "

Lily scoffed. "Of course he can't beat, James." that announcement received nods of support from most members of the group particularly Sirius. "But who better to test me, unless of course James would rather do the honours."

"He can't," interrupted Sirius from where he stood next to Brandon, Lily thought he looked rather menacing as he stared at the boy next to him even as he continued "He introduced you so he can't test you, he'd be considered bias. It has to be someone else"

"No one _on the team_ can beat me, but James," Brandon said firmly throwing Sirius a smug look and Lily a filthy one. "Especially not a midget like you."

Lily looked at James out of the corner of her eye and saw him trying to conceal a smile. He noticed her gaze, despite how discreet it was and gave her an imperceptible nod.

With James's support Lily turned her attention back to the boy in front. "If you're so good then you've got nothing to worry about have you?"

Brandon eyed her contemptuously as the rest of the group watched them in silence "Fine, I don't mind giving you a beating, if you're up for it." Brandon eventually said

"Bring it on."

The rest of the group started to smile before making way for Lily and Brandon to walk to the duelling ring.

---

Lily took her stance, squared her shoulders and raised her wand arm.

Brandon swaggered his way towards his spot and lazily raised his hand.

Lily frowned at his lack of respect. No matter how talented, it was a stupid man who judged an opponent before he'd even seen them fire a spell. But, in this case, it was going to work to her advantage, she could knock him on his arse before he even realised she'd cast a spell.

Still, she now understood why he and James had such a rivalry, and not that she'd ever doubted him, but she now had an even deeper understanding of why James always came out on top. Brandon was an egotistical idiot, James was not. After all, he had always known he could beat her, but he'd never been cocky about it. He was confident, and yet he had always taken her and her magic seriously, even in the beginning.

It was amazing that he'd managed to stay so respectful she thought as she looked around the assembled boys who all looked up to him. But, then again, he'd once told her that even the stupidest person could get lucky, and that desperate men always had something unpredictable up their sleeve. He had warned her to always be prepared for anything.

Brandon eyed her with a smug confidence and Lily's hackles started to rise. But, instead of reacting with anger, she stayed calm just like she'd been taught. Anger got you nowhere in a duel, and if that was his best attempt to rile her than he was in for the shock of his life.

Still, she couldn't resist raising a cool eyebrow in response, she was really going to enjoy this.

"I'll get you muffins and bring them to you every morning for a week if you wipe that look off his face," James's voice suddenly came from behind her.

Lily smiled slowly, a wicked gleam coming to her eyes.

James walked around in front of her and tested her wand.

She made eye contact with him and he flashed her a confident smile, his eyes glittered as he stared at her and his lips tilted just a little further as her turned his gaze over his shoulder to rest on her opponent. She could tell by his look of satisfaction that he believe she could beat him and that he was going to enjoy watching.

That made Lily confidence rise and her heart soar and she couldn't take her eyes off his broad shoulders as he strolled over to test Brandon 's wand.

"Opponents ready?" James asked as the rest of the group circled around their little arena and he stepped out of the duelling area.

Lily nodded and Brandon gave an impatient gesture towards James.

James raised an eyebrow, but set the protective wards without making a comment.

"Make ready," called Sirius.

Lily's body tensed and despite her confidence she felt butterflies start to flutter in her stomach. This was the first time she'd ever duelled someone properly outside of James.

Brandon wasn't even looking at her though; he was too busy shining his wand in a pathetic display of superiority.

Time to knock him down a peg or two. "Come on asshole, let's not dawdle," Lily smiled. "I'm about to start my first team practice and your fat arse is holding me back"

There were appreciative chuckles and Brandon 's face grew red and the boys surrounding them started to grow a little more interested in the fight as they saw the way she prepared.

"Why you arrogan-"

"FIRE!" yelled Sirius. Brandon, who had been too busy rubbing his wand and eyeballing Lily had missed the make ready signal and so was taken completely unaware by the call to start.

Lily, however, had been listening intently and as soon as she was allowed to move she threw three spells in quick succession and managed to strike with two of the three, the third one missing only because Brandon had already fallen to the floor.

The whole process took less than a minute.

"Jack ass," she whispered under her breath as she instinctively turned to smile at James, but she froze when she noticed the ten pairs of wide eyes staring at her.

"What?" she asked defensively.

She glanced quickly at James about to ask him if she had done something wrong, but even he appeared a bit shocked.

"What?" she asked again a little more nervous now.

They all seemed to take a breath and then said as one "You're in" the synchronicity was a little comical but the effect was lost on Lily. Instead, she blinked and before a sentence was even out of her mouth she found herself shaking hands and being back slapped by what felt like the whole team at once.

She heard someone in the mass say "You sure can pick em', James" and Lily nearly fainted with relief, that had been her biggest fear, that she would embarrass James.

"I know," she heard James reply then. "So provided Brandon is finished," he called sarcastically, "do you think we could practice sometime today?"

There was a rumble of laughter and Lily received a few last pats on the back before she found herself stood alone with the sound of practice duels starting up all around her.

She let out a huge breath of relief and wished that she had a chair to sit down in, because her knees suddenly felt weak.

"I've never seen you duel from the other side" James said as he came to stand in front of her. His hand instinctively reaching out to steady her, luckily he remember that he shouldn't do that and quickly retracted his arm, "Normally, when we're duelling I'm too busy concentrating on other things like form and posture and the individual spells you use, I never realised what it was like when it was all put together like that….I had no idea…. You're spectacular, Lily, I mean it."

"Thanks," she replied suddenly feeling inexplicable shy.

Not seeming to notice how much his words had meant James turned and gestured to Sirius. As they both watched him make his way over Lily asked: "Why does Sirius keep watching me like that?"

"He's understandably suspicious," James answered with a sigh "we've been best friends from the moment we met, and he knows almost everything about my life, so the fact that he doesn't recognise one of my 'friends' is unusual."

"Really?"

"Okay," James amended, "the fact that he doesn't know you and I trust you enough to be my second is making him suspicious."

"What are you going to tell him?" she asked a little frantically as Sirius drew even closer.

"That, because of the age difference and the fact that your mother is one of my mother's socialite friends we don't see a lot of each other and that's why you've never met, but that when you saw me practicing with my dad this summer you asked to join and I saw how much potential you had."

"What if he starts asking _me_ questions?" asked Lily nervously.

"Lie," James responded flatly just as Sirius came within hearing distance and he smoothly changed the subject. "I'd like you two to spar. Sirius will train with you today before you start working with the others—"

"I thought you weren't allowed to participate," Lily interrupted.

Sirius eyed her strangely before he shrugged. "I'm not allowed to participate in the competitions, but Dumbledore still lets me help James with practice's…. Guess he figures it's educational _and_ keeps me occupied."

"Oh, okay," Lily looked between the two of them before she realised they were having some sort of silent conversation. "I guess I'll just go warm up over there." she pointed to the other side of the room before making a quick exit.

--

"You're being suspiciously quiet, Sirius. Say what you want to say." James sighed as he watched Lily practically run away from them.

"I don't recognise him," Sirius stated simply.

"So?"

"So ...I've known you years and we've been best friends for all of it. If he were a family friend I would know about him. So, I'll repeat, I don't recognise him"

"His parents are really distant friends of my parents. He was at my house this summer while you were visiting your cousin and her new husband."

"How did you manage to see him duel?"

"He saw me practicing and asked to join in. He had raw talent, but was seriously lacking in training. He asked me to help and so I did. Turns out it was a really good idea"

Sirius hummed. "He's good, a natural, but he's a _little_ flawed… stiff perhaps? It's almost as if he hasn't really ever been in a real duel before."

"That's because he hasn't."

"What?!"

"I know," James replied, "but just watch, he really is magnificent, he has real potential, I've been training him myself, but you know what it's like when someone only practices with one person."

"They are poorly prepared for different styles of attack. Not that Evan seemed to have any problems," Sirius snickered as he cast a glance at the red faced Brandon .

James laughed, too. "That was the best thing I've seen at a practice in years."

"Yeah," Sirius acknowledged. "But we both know that if Brandon had taken it all a little more seriously it wouldn't have been so easy."

"At the moment you're right, but a few weeks training with some different people and I recon, she—he could give us all a run for our money," James finished quickly trying to cover his mistake.

Sirius cast a speculative eye at Evan and surprised James when he said: "I agree and I suppose if you think he's good enough…" he trailed off with a shrug. "Can he can hold his own against you?"

"Yes," James instantly replied. "I've never thrown everything I've got at him, not yet anyway, but he gives me a really good work out…"

A little more interest entered Sirius's eyes. "…then I agree that there's potential."

"_And_?"

"And I'll help you, if you want me to?"

"That would be fantastic, Padfoot." James said relieved.

They stood quietly for a moment before: "I'm not stupid, Prongs; I can sense something about all this, something doesn't fit…. There've been some major changes recently, and I know you well enough to know when you're lying about something but I'm going to let it go for now."

"I appreciate it," James nodded, relaxing a little. He hated the lies that were currently floating between the two of them.

"I'll find out eventually," Sirius said, deadpan.

"No" said James "I _will_ tell you… eventually."

"Fair enough," Sirius nodded before moving off to join Lily eyeing her thoughtfully the whole way.


	20. Summons

"Lily!"

James stormed though the portrait hole, his eyes wide and frantic. "Lily!" he shouted, again, craning his neck in the hopes that he might catch a glimpse of her red head in the sea of people.

"James?" Lily's disembodied voice sounded from nearby.

James pushed through a pair of chatting fifth year girls in the direction of Lily's voice. When he still couldn't see her, he let out a growl of annoyance. His frustration mounting knowing he could hear her but couldn't see her. Still, he was closer than he had been.

"Lily! Where are you?" he called, straining once more to see over the milling crowd.

"Over here."

"That doesn't help!" he shouted, still craning his neck.

"James!" she raised her voice, standing on a sofa to his right, looking at him in exasperation. "I'm over here. What's the matter with you? What's the rush?"

The moment he spotted her James started to head in her direction with a purposeful stride, but he got tangled up when he bumped into a first year that'd chosen that inopportune moment to run across his path. With his Quidditch reflexes, James managed to catch and steady the little girl before she went crashing to the floor, but the moment she was stable again, James practically lifted her off her feet and moved her to the side, an absent 'sorry' falling from his lips as he continued to push, dodge, and weave towards where Lily stood above the crowd.

Lily watched his hurried approach with shock and when he didn't slow down, despite his near accident, Lily couldn't help, but laugh. "Slow down, James! I'm not going anywhere!" She shook her head in amusement as she stepped down from the sofa.

He ignored her and kept bulldozing through the crowd. It didn't take long before he was mere feet away.

Smiling fondly at his antics, Lily turned to face him, but now that he was closer she could see that his face was ashen.

"What is it?" she asked quickly, covering the few remaining steps to him in seconds. She grabbed his hand in a strong grip. "What's going on?" she asked, pulling him over to a quiet corner and down onto a vacant chair.

James followed her silent commands easily and sank into the seat without complaint. It was a bit too small for both of them, but it provided some privacy in the crowded room and neither of them seemed to mind the close proximity as they adjusted themselves to fit.

Once they were settled, James's arm behind Lily's shoulders and her legs thrown across his lap, both of their bodies accommodated nicely; he started shaking his head miserably.

"James!" Lily sharply said as she shifted a little more towards him, inadvertently pushing them closer. "Tell me what's wrong," she demanded. "It can't be as bad as all that."

James stared into her worried face, and then groaned, leaning his entire weight into her body, burying his face in her neck.

As he lay pathetically against her, Lily brought up a hand and rested it around his shoulder. "What is it?" she asked again, quieter this time.

James sighed heavily, and Lily felt his breath flow over her skin, causing gooseflesh to rise on her arms. And, for a moment, she forgot all about her questions, realising how close they were and privately relishing the feel of his hard body pressed so tightly against hers, but when he sighed again, Lily seemed to snap out of her daze.

"James," she coughed awkwardly, still trying to shake of the warmth his body made her feel, "you're starting to worry me now. Tell me what's going on." Her voice was quiet, but firm.

James, finally seeming to gain some strength from her, turned his head so his lips were next to her ear. "It's come," he whispered pitifully.

Lily wasn't sure whether to laugh or hit him over his dramatics, but held her tongue for the moment. "What's come?" she whispered back, running her hand across his neck soothingly, feeling the inexplicable urge to comfort him.

"The summons…" he moaned, pathetically, his body slumping so far onto her that he almost covered her like a blanket.

"Summons?" repeated Lily, now thoroughly confused, her hand freezing in mid-stroke.

Instead of answering her with words, he lifted his left hand weakly, still not removing his head from her neck. Looking at the proffered hand, Lily could see he held a crumpled bit of parchment.

"Okay," she said slowly. "You got a letter?"

James grunted.

"And?" Lily asked in confusion.

"It's probably best if you just read it," he sighed, sending another rush of air across her skin that somehow managed to warm her stomach.

Nodding, and more confused than ever, she took it from his pathetic grasp and scanned the neat handwriting in silence.

"Ah," she eventually said as she reached the bottom. "I guess I better pack, then."

"No! No, _thank Merlin_, not just yet. We still have time to prepare. They want us to come for a couple of days during the Christmas holidays," James said, still not removing his head.

"Come on, James," Lily said bracingly. "We knew this was coming, it was what you wanted, remember? It has to be done."

"I know," he said finally, moving his head to look up, putting their noses mere millimetres apart, "but I had so hoped that this time it might be different, and I wouldn't have to put you through this!" he said his voice low, so as not to be overheard.

"What, and waste all our hard work? Don't worry about me, James!" Lily laughed quietly. "I'll be fine. I'm a big girl… a big girl who can now _kick arse_ in a duel." She stared into his eyes hoping he could see how dedicated she was to help him "I'm sure your parents and I will get on fine."

For a moment, all James could do was stare at her. The ease with which she accepted the melodrama of his life always managed to astonish him, making him appreciate her all the more. He was so lucky to have her on his side. "You are… amazing, spectacular; I don't know how to thank you," he said shaking his head, a large grin starting to form.

"Silly boy, you don't need to thank me, we're helping each other, remember?" she whispered in his ear as she poked him in the ribs in mock reprimand.

"Still, I get to teach you to duel for my end of the bargain," he sighed, swatting her hand away and wrapping his arm around her stomach affectionately, "and you get interrogated and pushed to your physical limits for yours. I think I definitely got the good end of the deal." He gave her an apologetic smile.

"I think you may be right!" she laughed, but being able to sense his genuine concern she made sure to add, "but I'm loving it, anyway."

He smiled at her in acknowledgement before groaning, "Loving it or not, it still seems that everything is dropping on you at once; your first team practice _and_ my parents. I'm sorry."

Lily nodded and sighed tiredly. "It's not ideal, but at least we can practice openly at your house—you know, get some intensive training in before the tournament … we can do that, right? There will be time?"

"Of course," he smiled. "Knowing my dad, he'll probably want to help! Maybe even my mum, if I ask really nicely and she's not training anyone else. Sirius too, probably."

"Sirius will be with us," she clarified uneasily.

"Of course. He's my brother," James said, as if the fact were so incontrovertible that it had been written in stone a millennia ago.

"Oh, just great, he's going to have a field day with this, isn't he?" Lily sighed, but she made sure to smile so James knew she didn't really mind Sirius being there.

He laughed, relieved. "You know Sirius, he never misses an opportunity to humiliate me and, unfortunately, this time you're going to be along for the ride."

Lily nodded her head in resignation.

"Thank you so much, Lils," James said, when it finally sank in she was willing to go home with him, when every other girl he'd ever been with had balked at the _mere mention_ of having to meet his parent. He was so pleased and relieved that without really thinking about what he was doing, and with his arm still wrapped around her, he leaned in to kiss her.

Just when he was within a centimetre of her lips he froze mid action, unsure what he was doing. Lily's smile had slowly dissolved and she stared back at him a little confused. James's eyes flickered to the side and noticed that, even though no one could hear what they were saying, people had still been watching them rather avidly the whole time.

They'd originally agreed that pecking on the lips was allowed, but after her performance a couple of weeks ago, his subsequent kiss later that same evening, and the awkwardness that that had caused, they had kept the affection between them to a minimum.

His eyes rested on hers once more and asked the silent question; Lily's eyes flickered to take in their audience as well, before facing James once more unflinchingly.

James closed the remaining space.

Their lips touched and flashbacks of their previous kisses flew across Lily's memory so fast she thought her head was spinning. Instinctively, she closed her eyes and her hand, still on his neck, slid up into his hair. Feeling her submission, James tightened his hold on her as if trying to steady them both as they shared a little less than chaste kiss.

Realisation was slow in coming, having to force its way through the hazy fog of her mind, but once Lily fully realised what they were doing, and just how easily they were doing it, she stiffened imperceptibly yet couldn't quite bring herself to pull away.

But before she really had time to process the sudden change in their relationship and the major shift in personal barriers that had just taken place, he was gone. All she could do was hold her fingers up to her warm lips in wonder.

This kiss was much tamer than the first time, but nothing close to that level of affection had happened in weeks. Lily had not been prepared at all for the jolt of energy that shot through her body with his touch, reminding her forcefully of the last time she had felt his mouth on hers.

When he pulled away, she grabbed his hand instinctively. "James," she whispered, as she unconsciously licked her lips, staring right in to him, her mouth desperately trying to put her feelings into words before they slipped away again.

"What?" he asked, returning her look with a one that mirrored her surprise and…desire?

"I just… I don't know…what does this… _mean_?" she trailed off, her body leaning in towards him without her commanding it to.

"Does it really matter what it means?" he murmured, right before he met her in the middle and his lips touched hers again.

Just as he was about to _really_ start to kiss her, James's head was jerked back roughly.

"What? You two don't get enough time to do that when you're out sneaking away with each other _every_ evening, so now you have to ruin my appetite for dinner with your public displays of affection?" quipped Sirius, as he flopped down on a nearby sofa.

"Sirius," James growled as he cast a worried look at Lily's lowered head, he could almost feel the heat of her blush and her grip on his hand was almost painful now. He didn't think she was even aware she hadn't let go yet; _that _thought was almost enough to make him smile. Almost.

This situation with him and Lily, this _arrangement_, for lack of a better word, was wreaking the best sort of havoc on him. Knowing she was sitting here, _on his lap for Merlin's sake_, kissing him and blushing and holding his hand made him feel absolutely elated. Even if it was just for show, he couldn't deny that he was enjoying it.

Then Sirius had come, and the moment was gone.

James had never been so close to killing his best friend. And considering the shit Sirius had pulled during his still relatively short life, that was saying something.

Sirius, obviously reading the exceptional amount of anger in his friend's gaze, leaned across and whispered, "I was only joking. You can kiss her in front of me until you both suffocate from lack of oxygen, I don't care, but that prissy little sixth year prefect just came in, and I figured as Head Girl Lily wouldn't want to get points deducted for public display of affection, in front of the _very full_ common room," Sirius added defensively, reminding James he was in a very public place.

James sighed and nodded his thanks and his apology. Sirius didn't need anything else. Lily, he knew, was a different matter altogether. She'd now pulled her hand away from his. She brushed her hair behind her ear before mumbling a 'thanks' to Sirius and standing, leaving the area as quickly as possible.

"Bugger," James whispered as he watched her disappear up the staircase, again. He really needed to talk to her about her habit of leaving him standing and staring like an idiot.

"What was that?" Sirius asked absently.

James spent another second with his gaze lingering on the stairway before turning around. "Nothing, mate" he said with a slightly self- mocking tone. "Absolutely nothing."

---

AN

Not nearly as long a wait this time around!

Unfortunately the next chap is not even remotely done but I will endeavor to find time to write, perhaps I'll try to do some sneaky writing while at work

Thank you for all your reviews – I can't believe I have almost reached 500 - that's really amazing!


	21. Revealing

Lily was dressed and waiting in the practice hall almost an hour earlier than necessary. She'd come early for two reasons. One: because she had wanted time to practice and prepare, just like she knew James probably would have if he hadn't had a detention, and two: because she did not want to accidentally get caught in the locker room with all those boys, which was one thing she doubted even Dumbledore and his eccentric ways would understand.

With nothing else to do, having already stretched, and seeing as there was no James to practice with, Lily gazed around at all the training materials that were littered across the room. It was obviously in preparation for some kind of circuit training that they'd be doing later. Lily nearly groaned out loud at the thought, her body was still protesting the workout that James had made her do the day before and she wasn't sure she could face another battering.

But Lily was comforted to know that James made the rest of the team workout like muggles as well. It made her feel less _abused_… Lily smiled to herself at the melodramatic thought, James would rather throw himself into the middle of the lake in the deepest depths of winter than abuse her, hence why she had never told him quite how much of a toll their practices were taking on her body. She was a hundred times fitter than she had been, and it definitely showed, but her body just didn't seem to want to make it easy on her.

She sighed and absently rubbed her hand against her chest, where her lungs had been feeling tight since yesterday. Realising that the last thing she should do is dwell on the discomfort, Lily decided the best course of action would be to try and distract herself from the mild pain by working through her now rather large arsenal of spells.

Her hand instinctively reached for the wand holder that was standard issue for any dueller, but instead of finding the comforting and familiar wood of her wand her hand only found air.

Lily frowned down at the area where her wand should have been momentarily baffled before she remembered she'd had to take the holster off to get changed.

Lily's eyes quickly flicked to her watch, it was still 20 minutes before practice started so she decided to risk it. She doubted any of the boys would even be thinking about practice yet.

Lily casually entered the boys locker room and moved towards the corner where she had dumped her bag, she was so intent on her search that she didn't realise she'd walked in on the rest of the team changing until it was too late.

It seemed Lily couldn't have been more mistaken in her assumption, she should have known James wouldn't stand for tardiness at his practices, even though for years it seemed as if he couldn't make it to classes on time even if his life depended on it.

Lily's pace across the room slowed as she took in the scene before her, it took a moment to process, but when it did Lily couldn't help but let out a low appreciative whistle.

"LI- Evan?!" James corrected as he swung around so hastily that he almost fell over his own feet.

They instantly made eye contact and it seemed to take a moment for James to make sense of the sight of Lily in with the team while they were changing, but he was snapped out of it when her gaze fell on his exposed chest and her gaze turned heated.

"Did you forget something?" he managed to say in a relatively normal voice that belayed both his responding hormones and the small twinge of jealousy he felt at seeing her ogle other men.

Lily chuckled "Oh it was nothing, I can't even remember what it was," she waved the question off absently, her eyes running down his chest again this time lingering at the small trail of dark hair that lead below his shorts. Feeling very aware of where her gaze was aimed, James felt a shiver run down his spine.

"Well then perhaps you should get going and warm up for practice?" He said frowning crossly trying to cover his surprise and unease.

"No, I've already warmed up," Lily didn't hesitate to answer as she continued to look avidly around the room before her gaze stopped on the lithe back of a boy across the room.

"Stop staring, Lily!" James angrily mumbled out the side of his mouth as he strode over to her.

"I'm sorry, but he just dropped his pants, am I supposed to just ignore that?" she whispered back and gestured behind James as she tried to peer over his shoulder for a better view.

James instantly put his body between her and the sight of Gideon's now nude arse "Yes you are, and you are certainly not _supposed to point_, now get out of here!"

His anger didn't have the desired effect because with the angry rise and fall of his breath all he did was bring her attention back to _his_ bare chest, still he liked it better than watching her stare at someone else. "My, my, my…" she said starting to reach out, "I'd forgotten what you looked like without a shirt on."

James caught her hand in a firm grip. He was shocked, and yet strangely pleased by his seeming effect on her, but he quickly remembered that now was not the time for her to start appreciating his physique, plus she still looked like a boy, which was beyond disturbing.

"Leave, Lily," he said through gritted teeth, physically making her turn around towards the exit.

"But I need my wand," she cried out trying to slip out of his grasp, grinning devilishly the whole time.

James almost smiled at her playfulness, she reminded him so badly of Sirius at the moment that it was a little disconcerting, he hadn't ever really seen her like this and he found he really liked the mischievous side to her, but now was not the time for it.

So instead he sighed tiredly stopping just before the door "Where is it?"

"Over there by Sirius's muscled legs!" chuckled Lily as she spun round, stood on her tiptoes and stared over his shoulder once more.

James gaped, his head swiveling between Lily's sparkling eyes and Sirius who stood in only his boxers. Suddenly he frowned, grabbed her by the shoulders and shoved her bodily out of the changing rooms. Lily was momentarily stunned to find herself pressed tightly against his warm skin, but it only lasted a few seconds. "Hey!" she cried indignantly as he strong-armed her into the corridor. "What about my wand?!"

"I'll bring it to you!" James scowled at her. Now he was starting to feel more than a little jealous. "You were starting to draw attention to us."

"Fine!" she snapped back. "Ruin all my fun!" then she grinned, "but could you take a picture while you're in there? Jennifer would love to see all that toned male flesh."

James shuddered before commanding, "Behave yourself Lily!"

When she just shrugged and smiled at him unrepentantly he said, "and I thought blokes were supposed to be the perverts," shaking his head, as a small smile fought its way across his face.

"Nope girls, too, especially when they have been given a view like that!" Lily said pointing to his chest and unconsciously stepping closer again.

"Lils," James tonelessly reminded her: "you look like a boy."

Lily looked down at herself and then up into James slightly pale and sickly face. "What, you mean you don't like me for my personality?"

"I love your personality," James rolled his eyes "but no amount of fun loving, is going to make me attracted to a boy. I just don't swing that way."

"Fine," Lily pouted, "change me back so I can ogle?"

James choked on a laugh, "Go sit over there you little deviant and I'll bring you your wand in a sec."

"Fine," sighed Lily, but did as she was instructed.

---

"What was that all about?" Sirius asked as James banged his way back into the changing room.

James shook his head not in the mood to try and formulate a lie but when Sirius persisted he snapped stubbornly "Nothing" as he pulled a shirt over his exposed chest and dipped down to get Lily's wand "Evan left his wand in here. That's all."

Sirius raised a suspicious eyebrow. "And he couldn't get it himself, because…?"

"Because I offered to get it for him," James replied in a tone that did not invite further questions. Not that Sirius would ever take the hint, but James had already started talking before Sirius had had a chance to respond "Great hairy Agrippa, Gideon, don't you ever put clothes on?!"

Gideon spun round quickly at the abrupt reprimand looking confused, when he realised James seriously wanted an answer he smiled easily, "Gotta love being free and easy mate… _free and easy_."

"Yeah well, put the jewels away they're blinding me."

Despite being baffled by the unwarranted anger, Gideon still did as instructed and jokingly asked "Happy now, Mr Body-conscious? I didn't realise you were so shy."

James sent him a rude hand gesture and barked to the room in general: "Practice should have started five minutes ago. MOVE."

Sirius watched all this in complete shock, but before he could figure out what had happened James was already striding out of the room.

"Hey, hold up," Sirius commanded even as James chucked the spare wand in his hand to Evan who caught it deftly, so in sync with each other it seemed like they must train with each other daily.

"What's got your knickers in a twist!" Sirius demanded when he drew his attention away from Evan.

"Nothing."

Sirius scoffed before asking shrewdly, "Did you fight with, Lily?"

"Something like that," James grumbled as he sent a dirty look towards Lily who, to James, now seemed to be smiling in a whole new way at Gideon.

"Did you hear that guys," a snide voice cut in before James could say anything else, "The Golden couple are having 'marital issues!'"

"Fuck off, Brandon, I said nothing of the sort," James sighed without even bothering to turn around.

"Oh really? Where is your precious girlfriend then?" he asked nastily, coming in front of James and exaggeratedly looking around the room like he might spot her. "You must have done something wrong 'coz it seems to me that a proper girlfriend would be here to support her _man_," he said, letting the last word sound mocking.

James couldn't have cared less what Brandon thought, knowing the boy was still angry about their fight in the common room months ago, but James felt something twitch beside him and realised that Lily had come over the moment she'd heard his raised voice.

"Come on why isn't she here supporting you then? She's probably off with some other bloke—"

He cut the rest of his sentence off when he realised the whole room had gone silent and all the other boys were now surrounding them, each and every one seeming to be directing varying looks of anger and disgust towards Brandon. James ignored it all because the moment Brandon had started talking James had reached back grabbing a handful of the disguised Lily's robes, trying to stop her from pouncing forward and beating the boy senseless. Outing them both in the process.

Brandon was starting to pale a little under the stares he was receiving and he'd lost some of his swagger realising that no one else in the room found him remotely funny or agreed with his observations.

"Don't you dare talk about her that way," Sirius's low menacing voice cut through the silence in the room, gaining everyone's attention including Lily's who now gazed at Sirius with wide surprised eyes. "Show some bloody respect. That's his girlfriend you're talking about not some girl he just picked up! It's _Lily Evans_…. you just took it way too far."

James felt Lily squeezing his forearm and had to admit silently that he was just as surprised at Sirius defence as she seemed to be. Even as gratefulness washed through him so did guilt. Pushing the feeling down James cut through the staring contest between Brandon and Sirius, breaking the tension, "Enough banter ladies it's time to get to practice," he said in a voice that dared the team to argue.

For a moment everyone looked shocked that he'd broken it up, but when they realised he was serious they all slowly started to move away.

All except two: Lily and Brandon.

Lily whispered quietly from behind him, so no one would hear, pressing her hand briefly to his back, "For what its worth, I would _never_ miss a single match whether I was on the team or not," with that said she too walked back to her partner to begin practice. Leaving just James and Brandon.

As soon as everyone else was occupied James walked slowly towards him not stopping until he was right in his face. His eyes sparking fire, he whispered: "The only reason I didn't just smash your face in is because I know it would have cause chaos… but if you _ever_ talk about her like that again, if you even imply anything… my patience with you is going to run out. You can bitch at me all you like but she is off limits. Do. You. Understand?" he commanded.

Brandon sniffed at the threat, but nevertheless he nodded stiffly.

James glared a second longer before he spotted Sirius over Bandon's shoulder and walked off roughly brushing past him on the way. With each step towards his friend he tried to forget Brandon and focus on what Lily had said, and it managed to calm him a little more with each stride.

When he finally reached his friend, James sprawled next to him and sighed slinging his arm over his eyes.

"Not your day huh?" Sirius asked his voice still a little tense.

"I don't think so, no," James smiled wryly. "Thanks for sticking up for Lily though, it means a lot." He said removing his arm so Sirius could see how grateful he was.

"She makes you happy," was the simple reply. "And Lily may be a lot of things but its obvious that you can trust her, it's the way she looks at you…." He trailed off uncomfortably "She's not interested in being with anyone else."

James was shocked and secretly hopeful after hearing that but unfortunately, he didn't have time to contemplate what Sirius had said because he had been seated less than a minute when he heard the sickening sound of a body hitting the floor hard and an unnatural silence once again fill the room.

As he turned in the direction of the noise James caught something out the corner of his eye that made his heart stop.

---

A/N

I apologise I know it has been a really long time since I updated but please don't worry I still have every intention of completing this fic

The next chap has been almost finished for months so fingers crossed the next update will be much quicker.

Thank you for sticking with me

Please review - only one more chap and then I think a trip to the Potter is in order…


	22. Exposure

One minute Lily was standing and the next she was on her back, unmoving.

James's breath seemed to catch in his throat and he managed to keep himself in his seat only with the exercise of every morsel of self-control he possessed. He was desperate to run and check on her but it was not common practice among the team to worry about a knock out unless there was blood or broken bones. So checking on her, would arouse a lot of suspicion.

He felt frozen, his fingers gripping the bench so hard his knuckles went white.. He took one slow breath desperately trying to convince himself he was overacting, being too protective, something he knew Lily wouldn't appreciate, but as the moments ticked by and she still hadn't gotten up he started to panic. Then, when Gideon's worried eyes looked towards his captain for guidance, having not been able to rouse his teammate, James found he was already halfway up from his seated position and moving towards the collapsed Lily on the floor.

"_Move_!" he roared sending the assorted team members and their friends scattering out of his way as he strode, quickly and purposefully, towards the pale, motionless body.

He fell to his knees, ignoring the pain that shot through his legs when they made contact with the floor.

He reached forward and grabbed Lily's wrist, noticing for the first time just how tiny it was; it was hard to remember how small she was when her personality was so vibrant.

His stomach churned as he checked her pulse the muggle way. He found it to be beating erratically, but relatively strong so he pointed his wand towards the centre of her chest and tried to enerverate her.

"I already tried that," said a panicked voice from behind James.

"Well I'm bloody well trying it again, got a problem with that?!" James shouted without bothering to find out who'd spoken.

"No of course not, captain," the intruder quickly tried to pacify the increasingly irate and secretly terrified James.

But just as the voice had predicted the enerverate spell didn't rouse the girl dressed as a boy in front of him.

James stomach literally turned 360 degrees, but he tried to keep a level head. He leaned closer whispering about her idiocy under his breath, then lifted one of her eyelids to check her pupil and what he saw truly panicked him. They weren't dilated in the normal way of someone who was unconscious, what he saw indicated that she was in serious pain. Realising that, his heart gave a painful thump.

"What the hell did you do?" James turned his furious eyes on Gideon, his breathing becoming quick.

"Nothing!" stuttered the shocked boy, staring at the body in front of him fearfully. "Nothing unusual anyway! – We were just sparring; we hadn't even got to a practice duel! We were just warming up! – He wasn't paying attention, he was too interested in your reaction to Brandon and I hit him with a stinging hex – it wasn't even a strong one I was just trying to get him to pay attention!"

"Stinging hex?" James repeated disbelievingly.

"It's true James," interrupted Sirius, his brow furrowed worriedly. "I was watching them while we were talking and all he sent at him was a stinging hex and no one else was in hexing range. I don't know what could have possibly caused this. Was he feeling alright earlier?"

"Yeah… yeah, I think so," James said, vaguely trying to remember if Lily had been acting strangely, and somewhere in the back of his mind wondering why Sirius had been watching Evan.

"Er, James, I think it's time to go get the nurse," interrupted Gideon.

"What? Oh yeah, someone needs to go get the nurse."

The words had just left his mouth when a weak voice from below him asked, "Who needs a nurse?"

All eyes flew down to Lily who stared back at them all confused. "What am I doing on the floor? Don't tell me I couldn't even spar properly today!" she said rolling her eyes at herself.

"Lil- _Evan_," James quickly corrected, "you've been down for a while. What happened, are you alright?"

Lily's eyes widened at his rapid fire questions before she sat up swiftly wincing slightly, the group huddled around her stepped back quickly shocked by such sudden movement from someone who had been passed out only moments before.

She wobbled a little and James instinctively put a hand on her back to steady her.

She sent him a furious look and James quickly removed his hand as he watched her stand and excuse herself—saying she was fine, but if everyone was so worried then she would go get herself checked out in the hospital wing.

But James knew her better and knew she was lying, she wouldn't go to the hospital wing, after all she couldn't go in her disguise.

Just like the rest of the assemble group, he watched her warily as she slowly progressed across the padded floor and walked stiffly through the door.

The moment she'd exited he commanded they all get back to work before swiftly following in her footsteps.

---

"What _is_ wrong with you?!" James bellowed, storming out of the doors slamming then shut behind him with such force Lily winced. "What the hell was that, Lily?" he reiterated.

"Nothing I'm fine. Don't I look fine?" she said without turning to look at him her shoulders tense. "People get knocked out at practice all the time, you're the one who told me that!" she spun around, suddenly glaring at him.

James took in the anger on her face, but he also noticed that she was rubbing her chest. Now that he thought about it she was always rubbing her chest right above her heart. He'd thought it was a nervous habit, but now he wasn't so sure.

"Shut up, Lily, don't throw my own words back in my face," he snapped at her just as angry and scared as she was. "That was not a normal reaction. Hell, Lily, I'm not even sure a stinging hex is supposed to be able to knock someone out – if you're not going to talk to about this like an adult then just SHUT UP!" he bellowed, shocking her into silence, he then took a breath. "Don't fucking do this, you know exactly what I'm talking about – don't avoid the issue, that's not how we work, or at least that's what I'd _thought_! Why the hell would a simple stinging hex affect you so badly?!"

Lily stood frozen to the spot and James closed his eyes against the look on her face. He took a deep calming breath, it only helped a little "I've never asked questions about your shortness of breath or how tired you were after practices and I've never forced you to tell me anything that you didn't feel comfortable revealing. I _trusted_ you to tell me if something was wrong, and you abused that trust – not just my trust as your captain but as your friend! – Merlin how fucking stupid can you get!" He whispered harshly.

"Excuse me?" she asked indignantly life coming back in to her face in one angry flush.

"This sport is all about trust, Lily! It's won and lost based on the relationship you have with your team members, and people get really fucking badly hurt when that trust is lost. And more importantly my friendship is based on trust. I won't tolerate you blatantly lying to my face!"

"I wasn't—I haven't – I'm _not_ lying!"

"No? What the hell was that in there, then?" he started shouting again, pointing an angry finger in the direction of the practice room. "Did you just fucking collapse because, to be honest with you, I can't wrap my mind around the idea – my brain just won't let me believe you would allow something like that to happen!"

"_Allow_ it to happen?"

"Yes, Lily – I understand why we didn't discuss it at first, you were obviously sensitive about it and I knew enough, but do you really think I haven't notice how stiff you are after practices or how quickly you lose your energy?! I didn't want to pry, but after everything we've been through I want to know what happened to make your father think you're _delicate_, I want to know details! I'm done not asking questions, I'm done waiting for you to come to me, because you haven't so far and you probably never will! You always skirt around the issues, and I care about you too damn much to keep watching you do this to yourself without knowing why!"

"Stop, stop shouting at me, do you really think this is helping?!" she cried. "They can probably hear you, do you _want_ to exposes me?!"

"Of course not, I sent a silencing charm the moment the doors were shut – if you were paying the even the slightest bit of attention to anything but yourself, you should and would have noticed! I've even taken the transfiguration spells off your face, so you can go to the hospital wing, how out of it are you?!" he continued before chucking the hair restoration potion at her which she drank down glaring at him the whole time.

"Why are you making me change back, why are you making me go to the hospital wing – you're wasting precious practice time!" she shouted hating him for giving her no choice in the matter.

He laughed "Don't tell me you actually think I'm going to let you back in there again today – training is over until you start explaining!" he told her forcefully meaning every word.

"Stop it!" she stressed again her voice losing it strength.

"NO! You're scaring me – _that_ out there _scared_ me!" He shouted before choking on his words a little. "Look, when you first told me about being sick as I kid, I took y your word that you were better and I assumed that there had been no long term damage because you _didn't_ tell me otherwise, but I was wrong wasn't I?" he questioned furiously.

"I _knew_ there had to be more to it, especially once we started to really practice and I noticed your quick deterioration towards the end of work outs. What the hell happened Lily, I let it go before because I was content to only know the basics, but things are different now. If you have a health problem I need to know. Fuck, I knew your father couldn't be that protective over something that happened years ago, but I foolishly dismissed the feeling because I didn't want to believe you would lie to me like that. I was wrong to trust you though, wasn't I?"

"Wasn't I?!" he roared when she didn't answer.

"Yes, yes okay I did lie, but I didn't mean to lie to _you._ I've been lying, but not for the reasons you think! My father has always been unreasonably overprotective – but he was getting better, much better – until…"

"Until?" James prompted crossly.

She glared at him before finishing her sentence: "Until I was attacked this summer."

"Attacked?" he asked his face draining of colour having not expected that announcement, not sure how many more surprises he could take today.

"Yeah, at Diagon Alley."

"Wait…" he said, rubbing his forehead roughly. "Just wait, you were _there_ when the attack happened this summer, you got caught up in the middle of _that_ –?" when he saw her face he laughed hollowly. "Oh, of course you were.... How the hell did you keep that a secret?! It was all over the papers."

She ignored his last question and replied with a shrug. "Yeah, I was there, I was picking up my supplies."

"How bad is it?" he asked finding it hard to get air in to his lungs "How much danger have I been putting you in by allowing you to exert yourself like this, how much danger have you been putting yourself in?"

When she didn't answer he looked at the ground, taking her silence to mean that it was just as bad as he'd imagined it could be, and whispered: "Maybe you shouldn't be dueling."

"Stop," she demanded. "Don't you dare tell me what I should and shouldn't be doing, not you, James, _never _you. _Please_," She pled, and when James finally looked up again she was right in front of him gripping onto the front of his robes.

"There is absolutely nothing wrong with me anymore, I promise," she said, pulling him closer for emphasis. "I've just been working so hard, to impress my dad when the time comes, to impress _you _so that I don't let you down. I'm sorry, I'll lay off it a little, it won't happen again. Please, I'm so sorry I frightened you!"

James shook his head, but whether it was to disagree with her or just to shake loose some of the thoughts whirling in his head neither of them knew.

"Look," she started, frantic to tell him everything, to make him feel less used. "That time when I was a kid; I was sick, really sick, I'd contracted a variation of Dragon flu and I went a month without treatment."

"A month!" he groaned leaning his head against her shoulder for a moment "Fuck how the hell… you should be… a month?!"

"Yeah, a month and – and I nearly died, if that witch hadn't found me when she did – even if she'd been only a couple of days later I… I wouldn't have made it."

He looked up sharply and started to return the fierce grip she had yet to release him from and when she look in to his eyes she thought he looked frightened that she might slip away.

"But I did make it," she whispered reassuringly. "Admittedly, it took me a long time to recover… so long," she said, looking off to a spot behind him and remembering things James couldn't imagine.

"The process was painful and slow but I _did_ get better, I was better well before I ever came to Hogwarts."

"But?" he whispered, his face strained his hands still holding her to him fiercely.

"But apparently there was a long term side effect that couldn't have been predicted and may not even have been discovered if I hadn't been in Diagon alley during the attack."

"What happened?" he whispered, maneuvering her even closer to him, needing the reassurance of her contact, she complied needing his support as well, wrapping her arm around his waist.

"Some of the passers-by built up a bit of a resistance trying to hold them off until the Aurors arrived."

"And you were one of them," he said, stating a fact instead of asking a question

"Of course, how could I not – I couldn't just – just leave when so many people were just panicking and trying to save themselves not caring who they trampled on over or through to get out of the line of fire. Don't you see, I had to stay and help!" she told him desperately.

"I understand," he said truthfully, "you couldn't do anything less and I wouldn't like you like I do if you were the kind of person who runs away at the first sign of trouble."

She gave him a relived smile before carrying on wanting to get it all out while she had the opportunity "Anyway, the group got separated, we tried our best to stay together but none of us were trained and… and—" she said her arms tightening even further around his waist.

He smoothed a reassuring hand down her back and she shook herself for succumbing to self-pity. "I was hit with something and left in agony for what felt like hours, but I'm told it couldn't have been more than ten minutes – they think it was the Cruciatus."

He inhaled sharply.

"They can't really specify what it was though because I had such an unusual reaction to it," she said, wanting to get this part over with as quickly as possible.

"Unusual?"

"Yeah, the Cruciatus curse attacks the central nervous system and spreads the pain outwards from there, through all the nerve endings. Even under normal circumstances the curse is terrible, but with my old illness the effects were exacerbated it and it hurt twice as much and took me twice as long to recover from–"

"The Stinging hex is from the same family of spells as the Cruciatus curse," he mumbled quietly.

"Yeah, it is," she agreed. "It's a hex that gets under your skin and stings you from the inside out by praying on your nerve endings, the Cruciatus is exactly the same thing just on a larger scale.. I think that perhaps when I got hit this summer, it opened up an old wound or flaw or something and now variations of that specific spell – spells that attack the nervous system – well… I think they must _all_ affect me quite violently, just to varying degrees depending on intent and type."

"I didn't know that would happen though," she said, pointing back to the room where the team was still practicing. "I haven't had the stinging hex put on me in years, and I haven't had any other reactions since the summer. Please, you have to believe me – please – I thought I was fine, I _am _fine. It's true that I've been tired after practices and it seems to take me longer than it should to recover, I've been getting lots of bruises and stuff that take forever to heal, but I didn't think anything of it, I just though I needed to get used it, that it was normal. I would never purposefully lie to you – I didn't even realise something was still wrong. I'm sorry, I _so_ sorry," she said starting to get a little hysterical.

"Okay, okay," James sighed finally giving in, when her eyes started to tear. He ran his fingers through her hair until his hand rested on the back of her head and pulled her forward until her forehead was resting on his.

"Okay, calm down," he repeated, wrapping his other hand around her waist when he felt a tiny tremor run through her body "I'm sorry, I'm just worried, I don't think I've ever been that frightened in my life, but…but I trust you to know your own body and make your own decisions, but I swear if anything like that happens again I will drag you to the hospital wing kicking and screaming, _then_ kick you off the dueling team and _then_ I'll contact your father myself and give him my own recommendation that you should be locked away in a tower where you can be kept safe and sound for the rest of eternity."

She chuckled, but he didn't share her mirth. "Do you understand me?" he said, clenching his hand into a fist at the back of her head.

"I understand," she said quietly, her smile fading.

"I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if something happened to you because of me. I l...like – like you so much, I don't know how I would cope without you."

"Yeah, after all who would pretend to be your girlfriend?" she teased gently, trying to lighten his mood.

_Sometimes I wonder if we're really pretending anymore_, he thought to himself before pulling her forward another inch, leaning in and kissing her.

He pulled away just as quickly as he'd made contact and made one last plea, "Please don't ever scare me like that again."

Before she had a chance to reply James heard someone opening the door to the dueling room and he quickly shoved Lily into a nearby alcove covering her body with his trying to conceal the outfit she was still wearing, hoping to anyone who was listening that whoever came out of that room would not be observant enough, or interested enough, to notice Lily was wearing the same clothes that _Evan_ had left in.

"Err, guys what the hell are you doing?" asked Sirius looking at the two of them as if they'd grown two heads.

Before answering James took one more look at Lily's flushed face just to make absolutely sure that she looked like Lily and not like Evan – that would have been awkward and _very_ difficult to explain.

They gave each other long looks obviously both having the same thought, before they both started to chuckle

"Nothing mate, just a row that's been brewing for a while, we're good now though."

"Okay," was the drawn out reply and James could have sworn Sirius's eyes went to Lily's workout joggers, but he continued without mentioning it. "But do you think you could come back in – I know the idea must seem _preposterous_ when you have a beautiful girl in your arms," he winked at Lily, "but sometimes there are more important things than snogging – one being an entire dueling team waiting for their captain to come back so they can get back to _training_ for the _tournament _that's coming up after Christmas."

James snorted and Lily smiled both of them acknowledging the truth of Sirius's statement.

"I'm coming," he said to Sirius waiting for the boy to leave before pulling away from Lily. Once it was safe, he said: "You still have to go to the hospital wing," before he turned to go, but Lily stopped him with a hand on his wrist before he entered the room.

"James?"

"Yeah?" he asked, looking back at her, she noticed something had changed in the way he looked at her, it was softer somehow and she could see his underlying respect and it made her want to melt on the spot but instead of dwelling on the wonderful feeling that thought gave her she asked: "Would you help me try and build up an immunity, I can't afford to have this kind of weakness during the tournament?"

James opened his mouth to deny her, and list all the reasons why it was a bad idea; the main one being that he didn't think he could purposefully hurt her like that. It was one thing to throw everything he had at her during dueling practice, it was quite another to throw something at her when he knew she couldn't defend against it and he knew was going to affect her immensely.

"We'll start small," she said, stopping him before he could argue, "but it needs to be done, and if you won't help me, I'll have to find someone who will…"

He looked shocked by her threat, but his resolve weakened when she finished quietly by saying: "but I'd really rather it be you, I don't trust anyone they way I trust you."

Hearing her say that he knew there was nothing else he could do but nod his assent, albeit reluctantly.

And Lily smiled feeling like a weight had been lifted.

"James," she called one last time, walking straight up to him.

"Yeah?" he frowned when he wasn't able to decipher the look on her face.

"Thank you", she said quietly before pushing up on her toes and pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. "Thank you so much," she repeated her lips lingering on his mouth for another second before she turned and headed towards the Hospital wing.

And James could do nothing, but watch her go until she was completely out of sight, a small smile curling the corners of his mouth.

---

AN

A WEEK people – I updated after only ONE WEEK – I think that definitely deserves a review! Pretty please?

Unfortunately the next chapter is far from done – seeing as I can't even find the stuff I wrote for it ages ago so I am having to start from scratch! Ergh!

Enjoy and thank you so much for your reviews – the response to the last chap was amazing

x


	23. Freak Out

Lily sat on her bed frozen in shock. James had just done the impossible and scaled the girl's staircase!

That wasn't what had her left speechless though, after all she'd now resigned herself to the fact that James could do anything he set his mind to.

No, the reason she was now mute was because he had just accomplished that feat, and broken about ten school rules, not so he could snog on some girl's bed or steal underwear or pull a prank (as she was sure any _normal_ boy would have). No, James Potter had just done what had previously been thought impossible so he could… _pack her suitcase_.

And he'd done it all without the slightest flicker of acknowledgement that it was out of the ordinary.

Originally, she'd been totally shocked when he'd burst in to her room unannounced, and expecting a massive outburst or some really important news she'd walked quickly over to him grasping his forearm tightly. She'd been surprised though, when instead of telling her what the problem was he'd merely closed the door and stood staring at her packed bag like the thing was a complicated potion recipe.

Instead of talking to her, he'd brushed past her like he had been in her room a million times before and flung open her wardrobe. When he started rifling through her stuff Lily had forgotten to be worried and become outraged, but after a few ineffectual attempts to get him to stop and talk to her, she'd finally sat on her bed in stupefied awe and watched intrigued as he'd grouped her clothes into piles.

At one point he'd even opened her underwear draw.

Anger had flared once again, but just as she taken a deep breath ready to tackle him away from her most personal garments, he'd raised one intrigued eyebrow before respectfully closing the draw and moving on.

Lily had deflated like a balloon and moved back in to feeling awe.

After a few minutes, it seemed that the piles were finally arranged to his satisfaction, and he strode over to the bag she'd already packed, and to what she'd previously thought were completely acceptable clothes, and proceeded to chuck stuff out and replace each removed item with a neatly folded substitute.

"That's no good—"

"You won't be needing that."

And still, all she could do was watch in wonder.

Eventually though, her surprise had subsided enough that she'd started processing some information outside of his unusual behaviour again, and she realised that he was talking to her as he worked. Unfortunately, he'd actually been listing all the things he thought she needed to know before their visit to his house. She'd only been listening to the one-sided conversation for a few minutes and she was grateful she had not heard all of it because the suggestions she did manage to catch were not filling her with confidence; in fact, the thought of meeting his parents was starting to make her feel a little sick.

She finally broke her silence and scoffed, despite her apprehension, when his suggestions started to get really ridiculous. "Should I bring my school transcripts too?" she laughed uncomfortably rolling her eyes. "An Auror check?"

But when he looked thoughtful instead of chagrined Lily's face paled, "Merlin, James, I was joking! What kind of visit is this?!"

"Visit my arse. Interrogation is more like it!" she heard him mumble to himself as he flung a perfectly good t-shirt over his shoulder sending it sailing into a lamp and replaced it with the beautiful silk shirt her mother had bought her for a family friend's wedding.

As her eyes followed the descent of her favourite t-shirt she remained silent, staring at the item like it was a lifeline, perhaps _it_ knew the secret to making her feel better – James certainly didn't. In fact, she'd been perfectly fine till he'd shown up.

When she didn't reply James's eyes absently flicked away from his task to look at her, when he saw how ashen she'd become he froze mid fold "Oh.... _damn_!" he cursed "Lily, I'm sorry" he said releasing a big breath before shaking his head ruefully "I'm really not helping, am I?

"Aurors? Transcripts?" she repeated through numb lips her wide eyes swinging over to meet his. "You're not serious are you?"

He winced. "Well not about the security check, they've probably done that already. And I doubt you'll need the actual _documentation_ regarding your school work."

Lily took a deep breath, and told herself that it wasn't too unreasonable. That it was perfectly _normal_ for his parents to want her to be a competent, law abiding person with a bright future ahead. Any self-respecting parent would be _interested_. Perhaps they wouldn't go to quite the same lengths to find out about her but she could understand the logic…. sort of.

He approached her cautiously and crouched down in front of where she sat on her bed. He looked up at her worriedly because she still hadn't replied, and it was the first time Lily had gotten close enough to him since his grand entrance to really be able to see his face and, suddenly, she realised that he didn't look any better than she felt. She was surprised it had taken her this long to notice – normally she could read him perfectly. Seeing his expression it suddenly became clear that, right now, he was preparing her so that he could take _his_ mind off the visit.

Problem, though, was that he was terrifying her in the process.

So she forced herself to smile despite her unease. "Come here," she said, holding out her hand for him, wanting to make both of them feel a little more relaxed.

Without hesitation, he placed his hand in hers, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles as he stood up. "Sorry," he sighed before she had a chance to speak, "I'm freaking us both out, aren't I?"

She used her grip to pull him down next to her on the bed. "Maybe a little," she grinned at him, "you really need to relax!" she finished tugging on his hand so they both lay back together.

After a few moments of silence he stretched out his arm and, as if the move had been done a thousand times, Lily lifted her head so she could rest on his shoulder. Once they'd settled comfortably together, she said, "Why does it matter so much anyway?" She rested her hand on his chest and turned her face up to his so she could watch him. "Even if they don't like me I can hold it together. You'll be there to support me and I can handle a little hostility, I'm muggleborn after all."

She felt him press a light kiss into her hair before he replied "Yeah, I know, but I don't want it to be like that," he said using his free hand to push his glasses up on top of his head and rub his eyes wearily.

"Why's it so important?" Lily shrugged although she was secretly hoping they liked her, too. "As long as they believe you and I are a couple then the rest is irrelevant."

James shocked her when he used his hand to force her to turn all the way into him and look him in the eye, with her half sprawled over his chest he met her gaze heatedly and it had extra impact without his glasses because he had such beautiful eyes—so clear, colourful and _fierce_. He looked at her, his stare never wavering and said, simply, "_I_ like you and I want them to like you, too."

"James," she sighed, half-worried that she wouldn't be able to make him proud and half a puddle of girly mush because his rough, sincere words struck right at a part of her, one that she hadn't felt before, one that made her knees feel weak and her heartbeat speed up.

"I'm mean it, you're _important _to me and I want you to be important to them, too."

Lily took a moment to let those words to sink in and she tried not to think about why they seemed to affect her so much.

"They will, _I_ will." she firmly promised. "I promise that I will do everything I can to make sure everything goes smoothly."

"Those sound like fighting words," he grinned as he brushed a stray strand of hair off her cheek. "My little warrior."

"Too right," she nodded, took a deep breath and prepared herself to keep her promise. "Now carry on with your list, I want to know as much as possible."

She tried to sit up, but James reached out with his free hand and pulled her into a brief but tight hug. He released her with a tired sigh before forcing himself up off the bed and stepping back toward her bag. He grabbed the T-shirt he'd so recently discarded folded it neatly, purposefully placing it back in her bag. "Just be yourself," he said quietly as he ran a palm almost tenderly over another T-shirt with a muggle band name. "I'm sure they'll love you."

When she scoffed he added, softly and sincerely, "How could anyone not?"

---

"_Holy Mother of Merlin_," Lily whispered under her breath, the strong, cold wind whipping her hair about and carrying her exclamation away on the current.

They were still a good distance away from the house because the wards only let them get so close before they had to walk - but even from this distance the house looked massive.

"Huge, isn't it?" Sirius grinned from beside her. "Wait till you get inside!"

Lily eyed Sirius wonderingly, he'd been acting like a hyperactive child all morning and she figured if anyone could be that excited about Christmas at this house then there was no way James's parents could be _all _that bad. As she watched Sirius chuckle she felt James reach for her hand, and she grasped it firmly. She had a fleeting thought that she should have been surprised at how easy it was and how much comfort she took from the contact especially considering how awkward it had been in the beginning. But instead of feeling uncomfortable, now she was grateful for the reassurance his hand provided.

They'd come so far, in only a matter of months. She would be lying if she said she wasn't a little scared at how quickly and easily they had fallen into their roles. The thought of what it would be like after their performance was over though, when they ended the charade. _That_ didn't scare her… it terrified her. She wasn't sure she would know what to do without the annoying git.

"Ready?" he asked quietly breaking into her train of thought.

"No…" she said and Sirius laughed gleefully again.

But when it seemed like both boys, even Sirius, were taking her seriously and seemed willing to stand in the awful weather for as long as she wanted, she felt a sudden courageous warmth radiate from her chest. She couldn't resist squeezing James's hand and nudging Sirius with her shoulder. "Come on, let's get in, I'm freezing and waiting around here is not going to make it easier."

"'Atta girl!" Sirius said smiling beatifically before rubbing his hands together and striding off at a fast pace.

Lily and James followed a little more leisurely, but the closer they got the tenser James became.

"James," she smiled, trying to get him to loosen up, "they're your parents, I'm sure they're wonderful."

"Yeah, they are, especially to me and Sirius." He looked at her and sincerely said, "I just don't want this to be horrible for you. I mean you're here…. at my house. Lily Evans is at my house… I can't believe you're actually here!"

She grinned, "I didn't know it was such a momentous occasion."

"Lily, don't act like you are unaware of how I… used to feel about you. I know we were only 12, but I was not exactly quiet about my feelings… I know how aggravating I was."

Lily smiled, remembering. "You were a royal pain," when James grimaced Lily continued "But in _hindsight_, knowing you like I do now? I actually think it was kind of sweet." James looked at her incredulously and she couldn't help but laugh at the expression "Just please don't regress on me, it's cute if a boy is 12 not 18."

"Ohhhh," he groaned like a four year old, "and I was so looking forward to turning your hair green again." He finished tugging on a lock of her hair until she leant over and he could press a kiss onto forehead.

"Try it chuckles, I know a few spells of my own now," she smiled saucily knocking her hip in to his.

"Don't I know it!" he said pinching her on the side in retaliation making her giggle as he hit a ticklish spot.

The banter seemed to have eased both their nerves, taking both their minds off the meeting about to happen even as they got progressively closer to the house.

"I'm worried you're just going to up and walk away," he suddenly said, ruining the moment of peace.

"Don't be silly James. I'm not going to storm off like a petulant child – worst comes to worse we'll make sure we're out of the house all day."

He nodded and seemed slightly relieved by what she'd said. Lily rolled her eyes, she was _almost_ certain, that James had worked the whole situation up into epic proportions when really most of his worries were in his head. In fact it had actually started to amuse her that he was more worried than she was.

That was until the house really came into view.

There were security camera's everywhere and she could hear dogs barking somewhere in the distance. She even thought she saw someone watching them approach through the window. Then, suddenly, she could also feel the buzz of magic tingling on her skin, the energy seeming to come from the house its self

"You'll get used to it," James said as she frowned, wrapping an arm around her just as they reached the front door. He pulled her in tight to his body. "Deep breath," he grinned boyishly, seeming suddenly and inexplicably excited considering his attitude only moments before.

Lily decided to take the suggestion though and just as she exhaled the door swung open.

---

AN

Well there you go! I think that sets up the suspense quite nicely, don't you?

I hope you enjoyed! So, so, so sorry about the wait! A few of you even took the time to prompt me... I hope you can forgive me.

Please review


	24. Bumps

One second Lily was in James's arms, feeling calm and secure and the next he was wrenched away by a pair of slim delicate hands and Lily had to reach out and clutch onto the doorframe in a desperate attempt to stop herself from tumbling ungracefully to the floor, which was not the entrance she had been hoping to make.

She regained her balance just in time to hear a cry of: "Oh Jim-Jam, I've missed you so much!" and to see James pulled in to a fierce hug.

"Jim-Jam?" Lily repeated incredulously watching in amusement as James's face was covered in kisses as petite arms squeezed the breath out of him.

"Oh it gets worse."

Lily turned to see Sirius just as amused as she was watching James and what Lily was pretty sure was James's mother.

"I missed you, too," James managed to choke out as he gently coaxed the iron grip from around his neck to a less perilous position of around his waist, sending an evil look to where Sirius and Lily mocked him as he patted his mother's back.

Lily laughed before turning and taking the opportunity to scrutinise the woman currently wrapped around James. She was slim and small with magnificent long dark hair that fell in a glistening sheet right down to her waist and even as she squeezed the life out of her, twice as tall, son she gave off an aura of grace. She was, quite simply put, one of the most beautiful women Lily had ever seen.

The moment James was free from his mothers coddling though he turned his head towards Lily and her stomach fluttered when she realised that, despite being surrounded by family he hadn't seen in months, he was still trying to make sure that she was alright.

She smiled at him and tried to communicate with her eyes that she was fine.

The eye contact and the obvious distraction of her son meant that Mrs. Potter's attention was suddenly diverted towards Lily. Lily was overwhelmed and uneasy as the direct, intelligent gaze pierced through her, the blue eyes slamming into her with the force of a reductor curse. Lily instantly felt like a huge spotlight had been shone on her, and had the fleeting worry that Mrs. Potter could even hear her thoughts.

Lily adjusted her hair nervously and smiled tentatively before gathering up some of her Gryffindor courage and extending a hand to introduce herself.

And though the greeting was definitely cool, in comparison to James's welcome, Mrs. Potter reached out and encased Lily's hand with a strong, but gentle grip.

That lack of open hostility and the smile on James' face made Lily feel a little better but there was no denying the slight wariness in Mrs. Potter's eyes. "Lily," she greeted politely, "Thank you for coming."

"It's a pleasure Mrs. Potter," Lily instantly tried to reassure, but she didn't think she had been heard as Mrs. Potter instantly turned towards Sirius and commenced a production very similar to the one James had received. Lily didn't quite know whether to be disappointed or to be understanding, but she tried not to be upset, after all this was the first time Mrs. Potter had seen her boys in months. So, she smiled instead, but she couldn't stamp down the feeling of being at a lost suddenly in the large foyer.

Lily felt rather than saw James move towards her and she was grateful, even if it made her a little selfish. She wanted to be strong just like she had promised she would be, but suddenly she found she really needed support. _His_ support. Lily didn't think any further than that, now was definitely not the time to start contemplating how much she needed him.

But before he could reach her he was pulled to an abrupt stop and into a chokehold by a vaguely familiar man with broad muscled shoulders, tanned skin, a mess of brown hair and eyes the exact same colour of hazel as James. Those familiar eyes brimmed with mirth as the man proceeded to squeeze the life out of James.

"Gerrof old man!" Lily heard James wheeze as he threw an elbow at the man's stomach.

Lily though it was sweet in its own way, up until James's face started to turn red. She was just about to interrupt when, suddenly a soft voice, loving and yet reprimanding at the same time, cut across her objection. "Let him go, Will, he's only been home five minutes, you can rough house later."

"Oh, Anna," the man sighed impatiently turning around to face his wife and brining James' trapped head along for the ride.

"Don't 'Oh Anna' me," she retorted, raising an eyebrow just like James tended to do.

Mr. Potter looked so chagrined by such a small reprimand from an even smaller woman that Lily was surprised, but instantly the fierce figure released James's neck. He looked at his wife sheepishly and then seconds later those broad arms had enclosed James in a much gentler hug. "Good to have you home son," Lily heard the man rumble gruffly.

As she watched James return the obvious affection, Lily couldn't believe these were the people she had been worrying about so much. It was true that she hadn't received the warmest of welcomes ever, but considering all she'd been told about the Potter family's position in society, it wasn't really a surprise that they were guarded with new people. So she didn't really feel slighted and if their obvious love and affection for James and Sirius were anything to go by then she knew they couldn't be all that terrible.

"By the way, James, I thought I'd warn you, Melody is here," Lily heard his father say suggestively, even wiggling his eyebrows for effect.

_Melody? _Lily's mind snapped to sudden attention as she watched James's closely for his response. _He's never mentioned a Melody._

"Oh," James flushed as he looked to Lily, but she knew him too well now so there was no mistaking the large smile he was trying to contain.

"Yes, she has talked about nothing except you since she got here. It's been giving me a headache!" grinned the handsome older version of James.

"Dad." James almost whined throwing another glance at Lily. "Lay off!"

Sirius and Mr. Potter laughed. "Come on," he gestured as he grabbed his wife's hand and held it securely in his before throwing the other arm over James's shoulder and reaching just far enough to ruffle Sirius hair. "Tell me about school."

Suddenly, there was such a mess of affection and voices and questions that before Lily really managed to get her bearings she was left standing, watching James and his family make their way down the cavernous hallway. Left alone, she couldn't help, but take a moment to catch her breath and let her eyes take in the huge entryway that she was stood in. It was very impressive, almost like something out of a castle, with a huge sweeping stone staircase and an upper balcony that stretched the entire length of the house.

Christmas holly streamed across large stone archways sealed with massive wooden doors with heavy iron handles. Every single piece, from the paintings on the walls, to the master masonry on the banister was a true work of art. Everything that she could see seemed to scream taste and money and home. The whole house seemed to exude an aura of warmth and a touch of history and Lily couldn't help but love the place.

Lily's eyes were drawn once again to the balcony when she heard a loud slamming sound above her. She scrutinized the upper hallway and at first was unable to make out where the noise had originated. Then suddenly her eyes caught the flash of a bright white blanket, long curly hair and tiny little feet.

Lily watched in shock as a girl who couldn't be more than three ran down the hall, her movements obvious by the flashes of colour between the balcony spokes.

Lily smiled, she couldn't help herself, the little snippet of a thing was so cute it was the only possible response. Her smile widened when two pudgy hands grasped the stone and the cutest button face pressed through a gap in the balcony. As soon as the startling blue eyes spotted Lily a cherubic smile spread across the tiny face. She was so beautiful Lily couldn't pull her eyes away.

The little girl's face lit up even further when she realized Lily was looking at her and before Lily could say a word she was running again, tripping and stumbling over her blanket every few steps as she barreled towards the stairs.

"No, stop!" Lily cried out as the girl hurdled toward the steps. "You'll trip and fall! Slow down, I'll come and get you!"

But she didn't listen, the girl just grinned and continued on.

"No! Wait for me to help you!" Lily cried, already almost halfway up the stairs.

It was a good job too because the little girl didn't heed a single one of Lily's warnings and before Lily could really understand what was happening the little girl had tripped on her blanket and flung herself off the top step.

Lily's heart stumbled and she stretched out her arms as quickly as possible.

She felt a moment of relief when the tiny body landed safely in her arms and she fumbled desperately with arms and legs, trying to get a decent grip. Unfortunately, as small as the child was, the impact was still quite heavy and before she could catch her balance on the step the momentum pushed Lily back and she felt herself beginning to fall.

Knowing there was nothing she could do Lily tucked her body around the child taking special care to protect her head. Even as Lily felt her own smash against the banister.

Lily felt herself collide heavily against hard stone a couple more times before she finally came to rest at the bottom of the stairs. For a few moments she couldn't move. Too shocked and surprised to do anything but continue to clutch at the small body in her arms.

She was broken out of her shocked state when a tiny voice, from somewhere close by, said, "You're very pretty."

Lily looked down incredulously to find the little girl holding tightly on to a lock of her hair and acting like absolutely nothing had happened.

Dazed as she was, all Lily could respond with was: "So are you."

Cutting into the bizarre moment of serenity a cry of "MY BABY!" rang out before Lily felt someone being wrenched from her arms for the second time in ten minutes.

"Oh, oh thank you so much!" the snatcher repeated over and over again as she cried, her tears running in to the hair of the little girl who was now sitting passively in the woman's clutching embrace.

From her sprawled position Lily watched the woman cry for a few seconds, still in shock. Then her mind seemed to unfreeze and instincts that were ingrained made her tentatively reach out to place a comforting hand on the hysterical woman's shoulder. "It's okay, she's fine, not a scratch on her, see look for yourself." She kept repeating in as soothing a voice as she could manage. Unfortunately, even Lily could hear the wobble underlying her voice but she figured the woman wasn't _really_ listening anyway.

"Thank you," the woman said fervently again even as she buried her face further in to the child's neck. "My heart literally stopped when I saw her stumble! Thank you so much….?

"Lily," Lily supplied quietly still rubbing soothing circles on the woman's back and with her long hair once again clutched in a tiny fist.

"Yes, thank you so much Lily! If you hadn't been here…." She began to sob again unable to continue her sentence and Lily though it would be a good idea to divert the topic slightly. So without taking her hand from its comforting spot on the woman's shoulder she leaned down to the little girls level and smiled, "I'm sorry, during all the excitement, I didn't manage to catch you name."

"You can call me Treacle, that's what everyone else calls me coz' I'm so sweet…." she pronounced as if she hadn't a care in the world, as if she hadn't almost fallen and smashed her head in.

"I bet you're often sticky, too," Lily smiled noticing the jam all down the front of the cute little sleep suit she was wearing and the woman chuckled wetly after a moment brushing at the mess.

"That's what Jamie says!"

"Jamie?" Lily questioned with a smile

"James Potter – he's my brother." She said proudly in her childlike voice. "He's coming home today."

"I thought James was an only child." Lily said quickly, how could she have missed something so important as a sister.

"Oh!" the lady said finally seeming to remember herself "I'm sorry I'm Layla, I'm Mr Potters assistant. This is my daughter," she said hugging the little girl again "Anna and Will are her god parents, so she and James like to call each other brother and sister. I…" she stopped mid sentence as she finally looked up to see Lily "OH MERLIN!" she suddenly cried, startling Lily.

"What?!" Lily asked in the same tone, unsure she could take much more.

"You're bleeding!"

"I am?" Lily asked confused but the moment she said the words she could suddenly feel the warm trickle of liquid sliding down her face and neck, her head suddenly feeling like it was on fire.

Layla reached out one of her hands, refusing to release the little girl, even as she turned Lily's face to her own, "That's quite a bad cut."

"Oh," Lily said because it looked like Layla was waiting for a response.

"I could fix it for you…" she said hesitantly. "It's really the least I can do."

"I would appreciate that—thank you" Lily managed to say just before Mrs. Potter came striding through a set of doors across the hall. Lily, Layla, and 'Treacle' watched as she scanned the surrounding area suspiciously. Her frown so deep Lily was a little frightened.

"Bloody hell" they heard her mutter when she found the hallway seemingly empty "I knew it!"

---

A/N

I know its another cliffy but I haven't really written the next bit - so I figured you'd rather this than nothing at all!

Thank you all so much for your wonderful reviews they really do keep me writing this fic.


	25. Forward

"I knew we shouldn't have left her alone," Mrs. Potter whispered under her breath.

Lily saw Layla cast her a sympathetic look out of the corner of her eye before rising to her feet. "Anna, is something wrong?"

"Oh, Layla! Have you seen a girl around here?" she asked quickly. "We got caught up talking and in the mess she seems to have… _lost_ us."

Lily sighed tiredly at the underlying distrust that had been revealed by the last few sentences and deflated a little. She had prepared herself for the fact that she wouldn't be liked, but that didn't mean it hurt any less, especially seeing as she had only been in the house for a sum total of twenty minutes.

"Sorry. Mrs. Potter, I was just… Well I was just—" Lily didn't know how to explain so she just stood up.

At first, all Lily could see was a suspicious scowl and flashing eyes as Mrs. Potter took note of Lily's position on the stairs. Suddenly, the expression melted and she showed her first sign of worry, a natural reaction, when she saw the blood leaking out of the large cut on Lily's head

Noticing the direction of her gaze Lily figured she should at least try to explain, "There was just a bit of an accident," she said grasping the banister as soon as she gained her feet to stop herself from falling again.

"Lily?" Layla asked, worriedly reaching out to steady her.

"I'm fine," Lily mumbled and when she regained her equilibrium Mrs. Potter suddenly seemed to be stood in front of them. Lily had no idea how she had managed to move so fast, but she wasn't too concerned as her mind swam.

"I'm fine, honestly," she croaked again, shaking her head in an attempt to throw off the fog clouding her mind.

"Don't be silly," Mrs Potter sharply said as she tugged her towards a chair set back in a small alcove. She brushed Lily's hair away from her face so she could see the extent of the damage. Lily expected it to hurt, but Mrs. Potter was infinitely gentle. Lily couldn't help, but frown at the discrepancies in behaviour, but she was distracted and let out a gasp when one of the light touches caused the cut to pull.

Just as the sound passed her lips she found James kneeling before her. "What the hell did you do?" he asked, frowning as he grabbed her hand and held it tightly, automatically glowering when Mrs. Potter's examination made her flinch again.

"I fell," she admitted flushing. "It's really not a big deal," she continued in a small voice when she noticed that everyone except Sirius had come to see what was going on.

"It _was_ a big deal!" Layla interrupted. "She fell trying to stop this little monster from cracking her head open like a nut," she jostled the offending person who was watching all the drama from her spot on her mother's hip. "You know you are not supposed to go down the stairs on your own!" she reprimanded, turning worried eyes onto her child. "You wait till your father hears about this!"

"Do we have to tell?" a little voice asked.

"_We_ don't have to do anything," Layla said eyeing her daughter meaningfully.

Laughing gently at the discussion between mother and daughter, but still feeling uncomfortable, Lily stared into James's eyes even as Mrs Potter continued to prod, not just because she felt better now that he was here but also because she didn't want to have to look at anyone else - she felt a bit foolish now that she was surrounded by people. At least James knew she wasn't normally this clumsy.

Sensing that, James took his Mum's wrist gently and quietly said, "I'll do it."

"Don't be silly, James," his mother said, trying to shake off his grasp, giving him an impatient look when he didn't release her right away.

"I said I'll do it," he repeated calmly, but firmly.

All eyes seemed to focus on him for a moment, his mother looked beyond shocked, but relented with a speculative look and the others backed away, giving the two of them a little more space.

Yet they didn't leave completely, although that might have been best considering the topic of conversation, but Lily figured that they thought she was too shocked to really be listening or she hoped that's what they thought anyway.

"What was she doing on the stairs anyway?" Mrs. Potter sharply whispered to Layla, obviously stung by James's behaviour.

"Anna," Mr. Potter warningly rumbled, sending a discreet look at James who didn't seem to have heard any of the conversation so far.

"She had no reason to be there!"

"Don't jump to conclusions, Anna," Mr. Potter warned again as he wrapped a calming arm around his wife's shoulder.

Just as Mrs. Potter was about to reply Lily saw Layla frown, and was relieved to know at least someone was on her side. "Anna, she was just looking at the foyer."

Mrs. Potter sent Layla a significant look, "Convenient."

"This foyer took my breath away the first time I came here too." Layla interjected. "And I don't think it was convenient at all that my daughter decided to take a flying leap… _Merlin_… if Lily hadn't been here!" Layla shuddered.

Suddenly, Lily felt a pain in her head as it healed, funny how James' touch hadn't hurt at all, drawing her attention away from the suspicious Mrs. Potter, instinctively looking up at the wand that had healed her. That was when she realized James was listening to their discussion as well. She smiled at him in reassurance, but it came out more as a grimace. He gently stroked a hand against her cheek. " I'm sorry," he mouthed.

She couldn't help, but cover his hand with her own as she shook her head, dismissing the subject. "You like me and that's all that really matters," she whispered, low enough not to be heard by the others.

James's eyes hardened and he threw a disgusted look over his shoulder, which attracted his father's attention. James didn't notice though, he simply looked back at her, his eyes burning and before she could figure out what it was he intended he leant forward and kissed her lips. He lingered for only a moment before his lips moved to press against the red mark that had only moments before been an open cut.

Lily wrapped her free hand around his neck and held him there for a moment, his touch making her feel much better than any healing spell. Seeming to understand James pulled her up out of the chair and into his arms where he spent a moment just hugging her.

"I'm so sorry. I won't leave you again," he whispered fervently in to her ear.

Lily couldn't help, but laugh. "Don't be ridiculous, James, I don't want you to have to babysit me. I fell down, and I'm up again now. I want you to enjoy this time with your family. It's not just about us."

He chuckled, but it trailed off when the external conversation floated back in to range.

"I don't blame her! You lot can be quite intimidating when you're all together," Layla fervently said and it suddenly became clear that even if Mrs. Potter hadn't quite warmed to her yet Lily had definitely made herself an ally the moment she saved Layla's daughter from her fall.

"And what lead her up the stairs towards the _offices_?" Mrs. Potter sarcastically scoffed.

Lily felt James try to pull away, inhaling a breath to say something, but Lily tightened her grip and stopped him. "_Please_," she whispered against his ear.

"But she's not even being quiet about it!" he said, half in shock and half in disgust, turning his face back towards Lily and ending up almost nose to nose. Yet he still stopped, just as she'd asked. "She's really not like this," he said, trying to convey to Lily with his eyes that he didn't know what was going on. "I knew she would be difficult, but this…" he trailed off.

Luckily, Mr. Potter spoke up. "Don't be ridiculous Anna, she's been here ten minutes – how would she even know what's up there? She saw Treacle running toward the stairs and tried to stop her. Don't go into this thinking the worst, you'll end up with more hassle than you want."

James seemed to calm for a moment, but he stiffened uncomfortably with the next few words.

"I'm telling you, James won't stand for it. Look at the way he is with her. If you make a fight of this I wouldn't be so certain that he'd take your side. You better give her a chance."

Lily carefully met James's eyes, certain that he would pull away from her now. There was no way he could feel that way; this was all a ruse as far as he was concerned she reminded herself sternly. But she was shocked when it became obvious that he was unashamed, unembarrassed, and in total agreement with his father.

"James," she whispered through her suddenly tight throat, but she was stopped from speaking when she felt a large warm palm touch her shoulder, the action mimicked on James. "Come on you two," Mr. Potter said, "let's go sit down and rest a while. All this excitement has made me hungry."

---

After a rather tense dinner James and Lily finally found a few moments alone and Lily was so tired, both mentally and physically, that she couldn't help, but curl up into James on one of the sofas.

"How are you?" he quietly asked, absently stroking a hand through her hair.

"Fine," she automatically answered, leaning in to his touch.

Despite her reassurance James ran one of his fingers gently over her forehead, where the cut had been, frowning.

She stopped his movements and brought his hand down to her lap. "I'm fine, it doesn't hurt at all," she repeated, smiling at him fondly.

James sighed, but he stopped looking so worried and adjusted her even closer to his body.

They sat in silence for a minute, James now running his fingers absently up and down her arm. Lily closed her eyes and said: "You and your parents seem really close. Sirius, too."

She felt his body tense and she reassuringly squeezed his hand. "That's a really great thing."

James nodded relieved, "We are," he answered, "most of the time," he added with a humourless chuckle.

"Don't be too hard on them, James, I can see why they might be suspicious."

James grunted, but didn't agree.

"Please," she said tightening her hold on him. "I really don't want to cause trouble."

"It's been one hell of a day, hasn't it?" he asked, leaning his head back against the sofa.

"Yeah", she said turning her face in to his neck to say, "but it wasn't too bad."

"Well, you didn't run screaming from the house, at any rate," he said, seriously. "Although, after dinner I wouldn't have blamed you."

"That's been your main fear?!" she laughed. "Idiot! I'm not going to ditch you!" she said, prodding him in the stomach in reproach.

James released a huff of air before tightening his hold. "It could have gone better," he sighed, regretfully.

"It could have gone a lot worse," Lily retorted. "So what if my reception was a little frosty? It wasn't anything unexpected."

He scoffed, "You're right, a couple more bangs on that thick head of yours and we might even have ended up in St Mungo's!"

"Why you little bugger—" Lily cut her sentence short as a small person flounced into the room and right onto James's lap.

Lily was shocked, but James didn't even hesitate. "Hello, Treacle," he greeted warmly without breaking eye contact with Lily, his thumb rubbing affectionately on her shoulder.

The little body in his lap didn't answer, but just started to squirm trying to find a comfortable position and James released Lily long enough to settle the wriggling mass in his lap. The moment she was situated comfortably his arm went back around Lily and his thumb resumed its movements.

Lily closed her eyes and leaned her head against James's shoulder. He was so comfortable; she couldn't blame Treacle for wanting to sit on his lap.

Suddenly, an innocent voice interrupted her peace and James's eyes widened to the size of saucers and Lily felt her stomach flip over.

"Do you love her?

James couldn't help the flush that spread across his cheeks. He uncomfortably cleared his throat before finally managing to say: "Why would you ask that, sweetheart?"

"You're always touching like Mummy and Daddy, and I heard auntie Anna and uncle Will talking."

Lily flushed and met James's eyes, but found that neither of them could hold the contact.

"Anna seemed upset, but _I_ think you love her, just not quite as much as you love Melody, right?"

_Melody again? _Lily wondered as she tensed and James instantly felt it. His arm tightened around her even as he smiled broadly.

"I love Melody very much," James responded truthfully, "I always have."

James felt Lily turn her face away from him, hiding the look in her eyes and his heart started to pound at the implications. He tried to ignore it though, he didn't want to read too much into Lily's response, he didn't think he could bare the let down if he was wrong.

James felt Lily start to pull away so she could get up. He couldn't allow that, so he put his hand on her chin as he tried to coax her into looking at him. She evaded him for a few second, but, eventually, she relented.

James kept eye contact with her even as he leant down to kiss the tiny curly haired head now resting sleepily on his shoulder. "Time to put my love to bed," he smiled. "Right, Melody?"

Lily frowned at him, shocked that he would joke with her right now. After all of their time together, could he really not tell that she was upset?! Then, though, a sleepy little voice intruded into her anger by saying: "A few more minutes?"

"Melody Truce, you know what will happen if your mum catches you staying up late with me instead of putting on your PJ's. We'll both be in for it."

The child sighed sadly before brightening. "Can I stay here and you read me a story?"

"I think we'll have to ask, but if Layla says it okay, I don't mind reading." Melody was out of his lap and calling for her Mum before James had even finished his sentence.

Lily watched the small body leave the room the same way she'd entered it before saying in confusion "Melody?" but then, suddenly it all clicked into place. "Oh…" she mumbled sheepishly.

"Yeah, _oh_." James couldn't help, but goad. "Jealous, Lily?" he was so ecstatic to have been able to make her jealous that he almost couldn't keep the grin from his face and he found it even harder when he heard his Dad and Sirius chuckle from nearby. Lily whipped around to look at them in surprise not having realized they'd come into the room at the same time as Melody.

Lily smiled shyly, when James started to chuckle she shoved at his shoulder, blushing. "Idiot," she breathed.

---

A/N

I hope you enjoyed the chap! I don't think I'll post again before Christmas so..... MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY NEW YEAR!


	26. Bursting Point

Despite the initial hostility surrounding their arrival, James and Lily had spent the last few days relaxing and spending time with his family. After the first confrontation, Lily had slipped so easily in to the household that it was like she'd always been there. She bickered with Sirius and joked with his dad, played happily with Melody, and James was pretty sure she even knew all the house elves names. It was a little disconcerting, but something tugged inside his heart at how settled she was in his home. She had even spent time with his mother, it had been a little stilted, but it was more than anyone else outside the Marauders had ever received.

He hadn't wanted to worry Lily any more than was necessary, but he'd known his mother would be difficult, she was fiercely protective on a good day, add to that her almost magical knack for sniffing out a lie, and James had known there was no way Lily would enter the house unscathed. Being a couple was so effortless though that he had hoped that there was enough truth to their feelings now that his mother wouldn't develop any full-blown suspicions.

Surprised, despite himself, the atmosphere cleared considerably after the little episode with Melody and James's subsequent reaction to Lily's injury. His mother moved from open hostility into grudging acceptance, though there was a gleam in her eye that said she knew something didn't quite fit. She was wary, but, after seeing James with Lily, her ice had seemed to thaw a little. Very little. James, however, knew what she was doing; she was watching and waiting, not willing to commit to a decision yet. He understood, he just didn't like it. He couldn't help, but resent that she didn't trust his judgment; then again, he _was_ lying.

But even he wasn't sure where the lie ended and the truth began.

Thoughts of how easy it was to be with Lily and what exactly that meant were swirling in his head as he searched her out. When he finally found her in the family library, he could do nothing, but stand in the doorway taking in the sight. She was snoozing on the sofa, curled up like a cat with a book draped over her chest and a bottle of butterbeer dangling perilously from her hand. He smiled before walking over to remove the bottle and place the book on the table next to her, making sure to mark the page. Noticing goosebumps on her arms he pulled the blanket from the back of the sofa and gently settled it over her, and he couldn't hold back a small smile as he watched her snuggle into the warmth.

He felt such a wave of tenderness in that moment that he realised he had had to get out of the room before he did something he couldn't take back, like wake her up and kiss her until his lips were sore. It was an urge he found himself fighting more and more everyday.

James made a quick exit, feeling on edge.

He had to talk to someone, if only to stop him from returning to her.

After a few moments hesitation he made his way down an adjoining hallway, before stepping determinedly into the front parlour where his best mate sat, listening to the Wizarding Wireless and flipping carelessly thought a Qudditch magazine. His step faltered and he wavered. Now that he was here he had no idea what to say. _What could he really say without completely spilling his guts?_

Before he could back peddle like the coward he felt like, Sirius spoke without turning, "What's up? I was wondering if you were ever going to turn up, the match is about to start." He vaguely nodded towards the radio, still not lifting his eyes from his reading material.

James let out a nervous breath. He'd completely forgotten that the Harpies were playing the Cannons. If that didn't prove that Lily was making him lose his mind, nothing would.

"Sirius, I have a problem and I really need for you to be understanding _now_ and a git later, okay?" he stated, figuring he might be able to brazen his way through this conversation.

Sirius quirked an eyebrow as he opened his mouth, a sarcastic reply on the tip of his tongue, but when he actually turned around and saw the frantic and slightly panicked look on his friends face he decided to keep his comments to himself. "What is it?" he asked instead, unease making his tone a little sharper than he'd intended.

"I…"

"Yes?"

"I…"

"James? Just spit it out…" Sirius encouraged even as he frowned. "You don't normally beat around the bush like this."

"I think I may be starting to like Lily again," James finally rushed out on a single breath. Then he closed his eyes in preparation for an outburst. He was so worked up he half expected an explosion.

Silence greeted him and then, "Well…. _Duh_." Sirius looked at James as if he were crazy, "and you're surprised by this because?"

"Umm," James's eyes flashed open again and he began to flounder. He'd known that there was no way to bring this up with Sirius without risking exposure, but he was getting desperate, he needed to get it off his chest and Sirius was his best option.

When James didn't answer, just stared at Sirius helplessly, Sirius decided to dig a little deeper trying to get to the root of the problem. "James, you've been dating her for months now. Of course you bloody well like her… how is it that I know this and you don't?" he asked, unable to mask his smile.

"You don't understand," James sighed.

"Then explain it to me," Sirius said, curiosity lacing his voice

"I think I might like Lily again," James repeated, nodding his head for emphasis, his eyes widening as if trying to imply the whole sordid mess with one look.

Sirius watched him with bewilderment before shaking his head, "Prongs, you can't repeat the same sentence over and over again hoping it will make more sense to me the more you say it. That's not how it works," he patiently told him.

"I think I may like Lily."

Sirius groaned. "I can never talk to you when you're like this," he said as he turned back to his magazine, but James caught his attention by expanding his sentence to, "I like her like I did the_last_ time."

Sirius froze with his back facing his best mate. "Last time?" he repeated quietly, the only noise in the room the soft buzz of the presenter on the wireless.

"Fifth year," was all James needed to say to grab Sirius's full and undivided attention again

Sirius spun, twisting his whole body so he now looked over the top of the sofa, and could focus on James who was still stood in the same spot by the door "Fifth year?" he parroted back, his face scrunched up, as if he were trying to divine what James would say next.

"Yeah, _fifth year_ and… well…"

"Well?!" Sirius demanded. "You can't just leave a sentence like that hanging!"

James nodded with understanding and held up his palms in a defensive gesture. "_Well_," he stressed again, using the pause to build up a bit more courage. "It might be a _smidge_ worse than that…in fact I'd say that last time was only a preview."

"A preview?" Sirius slowly repeated, his face taking on a look of confusion.

"Yeah," James coughed uncomfortably before releasing a mirthless chuckle at his own inability to explain. "As in, it was a small snippet of how I feel about her now."

A look of dawning comprehension spread over Sirius face before he gave James a strange look. "Oh… .well… that's normal…isn't it?" he carefully questioned. "Last time she had no idea you liked her and she definitely didn't like you… this time, well it's different, yeah? You two are so cute together, it makes my stomach turn."

"Thanks mate," James said dryly.

Sirius shrugged, unremorsefully. "I still don't understand why you're surprised."

James sighed; he had wanted to tell Sirius about his and Lily's arrangement from the start. In fact, not telling his best mate had been the most difficult part of the whole ruse. James took a deep breath. "Well, you see, I may not have been entirely truthful with you… you know, about mine and Lily's relationship," he admitted, not quite able look his friend in the eye, but feeling such a release of pressure by admitting such a small part of the mess he was in that he wanted to collapse to the floor where he stood.

James expected a whole load of questions to spew forth, but when all he received was silence he chanced a look at the man in front of him.

Sirius didn't look, cross, angry, bewildered or even confused he just gazed steadily at James until he had his full attention, then he said, "I know."

James released a lungful of air. "How _much_ do you know?"

Sirius shrugged, "Not a lot, but I've known something wasn't quite right with the whole thing – don't get me wrong, you two definitely like each other, but… maybe it's the way you don't talk about it much, like you don't want to lie to me…to the other Marauders… if everything had been perfect you would have been singing it from the rooftops."

James chuckled and didn't disagree "We're so … sometimes I can't help, but believe—" James shook his head, ruefully not explaining any further. "You know, if it was just me I would tell you everything." A statement not a question.

Sirius nodded with a confidence only years of friendship could provide. "I know. Are you going to tell me the whole story now?" he asked curious.

James shrugged, paused and considered whether to tell Sirius the truth – he knew he was making no sense. He could just admit to faking the relationship as a way to get his parents to back off a bit – that would allow him to discuss his growing feelings without betraying Lily's side of things, but, then again, if he knew_everything,_ Sirius might be able to help. James stopped the thoughts before they had fully formed; he hadn't even talked to Lily about revealing their secret and it felt disloyal to reveal anything without even discussing it with her

_Damn_, when James had started this agreement he hadn't really thought about how much of an effect it would have over the rest of his life and the rest of his loyalties.

But even as he thought it, he knew that his strongest loyalty was to Lily. He couldn't, _wouldn't_ betray her trust.

"I'm not stupid, I know what everyone else sees, I'm not in some delusional, self-deprecating panic," it was true, he was no fool and he could tell when a girl liked him. "And I know no one could fake what's between me and Lily, I can feel it, like it's a living thing between us. Even when she just walks into a room I can _feel_ her… It's… it's bloody scary!" James chuckled ruefully. Then hedging a little he said; "I just don't know if she wants… wants me the way I want her." He settled for saying, it was as close to the truth as he could get without betraying Lily's confidence. She may be attracted to him, but for him it was so much more.

James could tell Sirius had no real idea of what was going on, but he knew how his best mate worked, and he could see how conflicted he was. "Look, you don't have to tell me anything, but you've got to be honest with her. Make sure she knows how you feel, if you don't your going to explode." That much was clear.

James couldn't help releasing a snort, "Understatement, mate, understatement."

---

"Raise your arm!" He commanded in that deep strong voice of his.

Lily barely heard him over her racing heartbeat.

"LILY! RAISE YOUR ARM! You're exposing your right side to attack!" he shouted as he threw spell after spell at her.

The barrage was too much, and Lily was purely on the defensive now, too tired to even try to attack.

"STOP DROPPING YOUR ARM - Lily! I wont tell you again!" James threatened as a blasting hex blew a chunk out of the wall right behind her head.

Lily tired to do as he instructed, lest she end up like the masonry behind her, but her body ached from the exertion of hours of dueling and the various bruises she'd acquired during that time.

She tried to tighten her grip on her wand, tired to find some last vestiges of strength, to be able to return a volley or two. But her palms were covered in sweat making her grip all, but useless. It wasn't even just her hands that were covered in sweat, her whole body was drenched in it. She had discarded her jumper long ago, finding that when she was wearing it, she was far too hot to breathe let alone move.

"For the love of…!" she heard James's cross voice say right before he ended her misery and the duel, by sending a curse with his full power and skill hurtling at her.

It was a direct hit and it knocked the wind out of her and her feet from right under her.

Her wand finally slipped from her hand and she gave James the signal to say she wanted to stop.

Relieved that the barrage had ended, Lily found she couldn't even find the energy to sit up, she merely continued to lie where she was trying to breathe through the stitch in her side.

James's imposing, scowling form came into view and Lily knew she should be upset, but suddenly her heart was beating frantically for an entirely different reason.

Just like her, James had long ago discarded his jumper. When he'd removed it, it had given Lily a perverse sense of satisfaction to know that she was putting up enough of a fight during their session that she was giving him just a good a work out as he gave her.

But her satisfaction had quickly faded to shock when James hadn't stopped at just his jumper, but had instead impatiently pulled his T-shirt off as well and carelessly thrown it onto the growing heap of clothes in the corner of the room.

He now stood above her in just his workout shorts, with his facial features a mixture of exasperation and concern.

"Lily, how many times do I have to tell you that you have to keep you right arm up?! It's the only major flaw you have left, but it's a big one."

Lily tried to listen to his advice, she really did, but she'd heard it so often now it just seemed to sail right over her. Plus, despite the fact that her brain knew that he was talking to her and that she really should be listening, her body wouldn't let her focus past James's toned chest shimmering with perspiration.

All sorts of inappropriate thoughts raced through her mind and she couldn't help, but be thankful he couldn't read minds.

She also hoped that he was at least half as affected by her in her tiny shorts and sports bra, as she was by him, that way she wouldn't have to feel like a _complete_ tart.

She'd never felt this kind of attraction for anyone else. She tried to convince herself that it was the mixture of excess adrenaline and magic swirling around them that evoked such a strong reaction, but even in her semi delusional state she had realised that she was even_ noticing_ outside of their sessions. It seemed to be getting worse with every conversation, every look, every moment spent together.

She wasn't sure she had any more resistance left.

--

James was an inch away from ripping Lily's sports bra right off her body with his bare hands.

His frustration at himself for not being able to control his impulses was showing itself in his dueling.

He was not dueling to his usual standard and he was taking his frustrations out on Lily by throwing his curses a little harder and by exhibiting no patience whatsoever. He hated himself for it because whilst he knew she could handle anything he dished out to her at the beginning of the sessions, he also knew that towards the end her body started to weaken.

Merlin, why couldn't she wear a t-shirt? Didn't she realise she was killing him slowly dressed like that and dueling with such poise and skill that he was almost in awe of her.

"Hell," he mumbled under his breath, frustrated. He'd tried to talk to her a hundred times over the last few days, but found the words wouldn't come. He couldn't seem to get the courage up; what he had to say could potentially ruin their relationship, then again it had the potential to have the best result of his life.

Either way he needed to talk to her soon, before he snapped.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?" Lily asked, still sprawled on the floor breathlessly

James couldn't seem to answer her, just like he couldn't seem to extend his hand to help her up. All he could do was watch her chest rise and fall with an obscene, perverted amount of pleasure.

Sirius was right; it was only a matter of time before he lost all his sanity. This time, however, he finally managed to force his sense back into order and extended his hand to help her. But he miscalculated due to his own wandering mind and Lily's poor equilibrium and when she came to her feet, she swayed and ended up pressed against him, stomach to stomach, hands still tightly clasped. "Hell" he stupidly repeated, but really how did she expected him to behave normally when she stood so close to him that he could feel her breath fanning his sticky chest?

--

_Why did he have to stand so close_? Lily thought to herself as she used her vantage point to shamelessly eye up his chest.

She licked her lips and, before she could curb the impulse, she found that her arm had reached out and she had spread her hand out over his chest, her fingers running along a newly acquired scratch. _Had she done that?_

"Don't," James's voice was a hoarse croak interrupting her ministrations.

"Don't what?" she absently asked, totally absorbed in the feel of him, his skin was so smooth, but his body was so hard. She couldn't seem to stop touching him.

"Don't touch me like that, right now," he said voice tight and strained.

"Why not?" she asked, a small frown puckered her forehead even as she continued to caress him with her fingertips. "Don't you like my touch?" she asked quietly and he could have sworn he heard her voice waver.

He groaned and closed his eyes trying to force his mind to answer her question rather than focus on the imagery she had unwittingly conjured, he could feel the uncertainty coming off her in waves, then he felt her start to pull away. His reaction was instinctive, and he couldn't have stopped it if he'd wanted to. He raised his own hand and placed it over hers, stopping her from pulling away. "You're not ready…" he said seemingly to himself.

"What are you talking about James?" Lily asked unable to focus on anything, but the look on his face, it was a mix between pain and pleasure.

"I won't be… be able to stop myself anymore," he replied, even though it took all of his brainpower to formulate even that broken sentence. It was hard to make it sound believable though when he'd truly never wanted to stop someone less. If it were up to him he admitted, she would never stop.

"Stop yourself?" she questioned confused by his admission as she absently ran her fingertips down to his stomach

He growled and his stomach twitched, and right at that moment he lost the will to fight anymore. He crushed her to him, her hand still caught between them as he captured her mouth in a hard bruising kiss.

Lily's breath caught in the back of her throat. She'd know this would happen, had wanted it with every particle of her being, but she was still surprised by the heat of him, his mouth and his body, she felt like she was being consumed by flames.

They kissed ravenously, endlessly for as long as their lungs would allow, each kiss deeper and wetter and harder than the last.

James could feel Lily's erratic heart beat against his, matching his own in speed, he could feel every place where she touched him like a brand, and when the hand that was still caught between them started a slow glide up his chest he couldn't hold back a groan.

In response, his own hands started a wandering trail running along her spine leaving lingering tingles behind. His hand pressed to the small of her back and pulled her as close as it was possible to get her.

He felt her release a small sigh into his mouth and without conscious thought he found his hands full of her delicious backside. Feeling her pressed so intimately against him nearly sent him to his knees. Instead, he braced himself and lifted her into his arms, Lily's legs instinctively wrapping around his waist. James walked forward, without breaking the kiss, until he'd finally backed her into the nearest wall.

He hesitated to put more weight on her, only pressing hard enough to support her, but Lily wasn't satisfied and she held him tighter, encouraging him to press harder. When he finally complied she rewarded him with a squeeze of her thighs that put his lower half exactly where he wanted it to be.

He pulled away, and stared into her desire clouded eyes in mild shock, she merely eyed him back her gaze drifting from his eyes to his mouth in what felt like a slow caress.

"So that's the way you want to play it?" he growled, surprised by the sound of his own voice.

In response, her lips merely quirked mischievously.

"Just remember you asked for it," he whispered against the skin of her throat, pausing to lick over her pulse point, the action making her squirm deliciously.

"James," she commanded breathlessly, tugging at his hair as he continued to kiss his way across her collarbone.

"What, Lily?" he mumbled against her skin without pausing. "What do you want?" he whispered even more quietly.

Her heart jumped as she felt his hot breath across the top of her sports bra and she only realised what he was about to do, one second before his mouth closed over one taught nipple through the material.

Hearing the sound, he sucked harder and Lily's thighs instinctively tightened around him once more.

She felt a small growl right before she felt his teeth press down over the sensitive area.

She made a small surprised sound and James lifted his head, smile smug with promise. She didn't have time to contemplate why he was smiling like that before his hand replaced his mouth on her breast and he was kissing her again, breath to breath, tongue to tongue making her lose track of all her thoughts.

Lily's hands grabbed at his back so firmly that he was sure she left marks. The idea nearly sent him over the edge and he pushed even harder into her as his hand started to reach for her shorts.

Before he reached his goal though, James managed to regain a sliver of sanity and pulled away, if only slightly, his hand pausing just as it disappeared below the elastic at her waist

He couldn't quite make himself pull away completely though, nor to put her down. Their lips stopped millimetres from each other; they were so close they were sharing the same air. James was frozen, he didn't want to release her, but he knew he shouldn't kiss her again. If he did, this was going to move in to a whole different realm. He was okay with that, but he did not want Lily to regret it. Ever.

He looked down at her, hoping to gauge her reaction, hoping the he could be gentleman enough to let her go if she looked even remotely upset.

What he saw in her eyes made his heartbeat speed up. He was caught by the look she gave him and he couldn't have looked away even if his shorts had been on fire. Which, the sarcastic part of his mind pointed out, they kind of were.

Slowly their lips touched one more time, but James refused to deepen the kiss, she needed to do it. He needed to know she wanted this, if she hesitated even a little then he knew she had just got caught up in the moment and that he should walk away.

When several seconds had passed and she hadn't deepened their kiss he pulled away and quietly said, "I'm your friend, Lily."

"Best friend," she whispered in agreement, her lips coming up to touching his again in a chaste kiss.

"Yes, best friend," he replied, "but…"

"Yes?" she asked and James felt her whole body tense.

He stroked his wayward hand back up her spine soothing her with his touch before he sighed, "I'm still a man and you are _very_attractive"

"I don't understand. What are you trying to say?" she asked leaning back slightly so she could see his eyes, and the fear he saw in them made his heart hurt. She didn't want this.

"That… That…" James paused, then changed his next words. "That with the exercise and the magic and the adrenaline swirling around my body… and the way you look," unable to resist he ran a hand over her exposed stomach… "I find it hard to ignore my attraction for you when we duel… I'm sorry."

"Do you ignore the attraction the rest of the time?" she asked and he was surprised. He'd just given her a way out of the conversation and yet she had pushed for answers. Perhaps she_was_ interested…

"Every second of every day," he admitted without thinking. "I'm sorry," he quickly repeated, tempted to smack himself for his lack of control. He hoped this new lack of sense wasn't permanent hopefully he was just a little scrambled by the kiss.

"Why because you think I'm pretty?" she asked, almost starting to smile.

"No, of course not," James said, unable to resist squeezing her. "You're beautiful, not just pretty," he firmly said, staring directly into her eyes so she would realise the sincerity of his words, "I'm sorry because I can't seem to control myself."

"Don't be," she said taking his head in her hands. "I feel it too," she whispered as her thumb stroked his cheek.

He groaned. "Saying things like that doesn't help either," he told her.

Lily was reminded of the bulge in his shorts and blushed red, instantly apologizing, "I'm so sorry, I'm not trying to torture you, you know that. Just like I know you're not trying to torture me."

James chocked on his laugh. "It's torture for you?" he closed his eyes and allowed himself a moment to think that it was because she was as attracted to him as he was to her.

"We're just in an emotionally and physical charged environment when we duel and we can't help, but get a little overwhelmed by it form time to time – we're still just teenagers," she said, putting her hand to his neck in what seemed like an unconscious action.

"Yes," he reluctantly agreed. Hating that their relationship could be made to feel so insignificant with just one sentence "… just teenagers"

He released her, managing to hide his reluctance tolerably well, but when he looked at her again she didn't look any happier about it that he did.

All he wanted to do was walk away from this nightmare of a conversation and from the way he was feeling but they'd come this far and he couldn't leave without getting everything off his chest, no matter how awkward it made things, otherwise he's be right back where he started.

He ran a hand agitatedly through his hair before turning back to her, she looked so lost at that moment that he felt a surge of protectiveness, her head was bowed and her hand was pressed to her stomach as if she didn't feel well.

James tried to ignore the paranoid voice that screamed that she felt that way because of him.

"Lily?" he said taking a step towards her, wanting to do anything to make her stop looking like that.

When she looked up and he saw the tears swimming in her eyes, he couldn't help his automatic response. He rushed forward and grabbed her to him, hugging her fiercely "What's the matter?" he demanded gruffly. "Don't cry," he commanded in an even heavier voice, "I'm sorry if this has upset you, we can forget all about it." He rushed to say, knowing in his heart that he'd never forget, but that he'd pretend if she asked him to.

"Teenagers?" she whispered instead of answering and his stomach dropped, he didn't know what she wanted him to say, he wanted to take that look off her face but he wasn't going to lie.

So he took a deep breath and then another.

"That's not the way I feel," he whispered in to her ear and he felt her try to pull away, but he wouldn't let her. "What I feel…" he chuckled humourlessly before leaning down and gently kissing her cheek, "is so much _more_ than that."

He felt her suck in a breath and hold it and he couldn't help, but want to do the same. It was finally out there, the elephant in the room revealed, and now all he could do was deal with the fall out.

Finally, after what felt like a thousand years, she tried to pull away again and this time he let her, albeit reluctantly.

When he saw her face though his heart did a summersault. She was smiling beautifully at him. "Really?" she shyly questioned.

"No one can fake the way I feel about you, Lily." Her eyes began to tear again and he rushed to get the right words out, "Being with you is so easy, so good, so much fun. You're brave and loyal and beautiful and… I can't help, but fall in love with you more everyday."

"Oh, James," she sighed, "I know, I feel exactly the same way."

James felt his whole insides freeze as he replayed those words over and over, making sure he'd heard them correctly and that he truly understood what they meant. Once he convinced himself he hadn't just imagined it, his whole body ignited and his heart started beating a mile a minute.

She started to say more, but James could wait, he'd heard everything he needed to hear for the time being. He grabbed her up again and pushed back up against the wall.

Lily let out a surprised sound and then grinned, but when she saw the look in his eyes she said, "Wait, James, we need to talk!"

"Later," he growled right before he covered her whole body with his, "we have plenty of time."

Then he kissed her and, just like that, they ignited again and nothing would stop him this time.

---

A/N

Wow. So… it's been an unbelievably long time since I posted and I can't apologise enough. Hopefully the content made up for the long wait.

Thank you for every review, especially to those who pushed for a chap and a big/massive/humongous thanks to those who PM'd me – keep pushing you never know what you may inspire

BTW, part of this chap was inspired a very long time ago by a reviewer – they have probably forgotten even sending the msg and I can't remember who it was any more (that how long ago it was!) but just so you know that that review made me write a large part of this chap – thank you!

So send me msg - I'd love to know what you all think – especially seeing as I wanted to push a M rating for this chap – if you want to see that let me know and perhaps I might make a few additions

Finally, thank you to cosmopolitan who manages to get chaps back to me asap no matter how long it's been x


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